Can the release of the Nintendo 64's Mario Tennis on the Virtual Console save a Nintendo Download littered with beer pong and virtual dating titles?
It might not all be crap this week, but there's a strong crap aftertaste that lingers on anything posted around the same time as Pong Toss Pro – Frat Party Games for WiiWare or DSiWare's Date or Ditch from Gameloft.
If you can rinse them off enough, Mario Tennis might be worth your while for 1000 Wii points, and Neko Entertainment's Maestro! Green Groove is a port of a pretty entertaining iPhone game for DSiWare.
The rest? Well nothing strikes my fancy enough to reach past the film of grime coating the surface of this week's Nintendo Download.
How about you?
Jett Rocket Publisher: Shin'en Multimedia Players: 1 ESRB Rating: E (Everyone) – Mild Cartoon Violence Price: 1000 Wii Points™ Description: Jump and run and fly. Let Jett Rocket explore the beautiful planet of Yoroppa and find out why it has been attacked by the evil Power Plant Posse. Visit tropical islands, poisonous swamps and freezingly cold glaciers. Ride the ocean on your Jet Boat, parachute from giant cliffs, speed through arctic regions on your Jet Snowboard or skyrocket with your Jet Turbine. You will need everything you've got to fight back and save Yoroppa. Just be Jett Rocket in this epic futuristic full 3D action adventure.
Pong Toss Pro – Frat Party Games Publisher: JV Games Inc. Players: 1-4 ESRB Rating: E (Everyone) – Alcohol Reference, Comic Mischief, Mild Language Price: 600 Wii Points Description: Born on college campuses, Pong Toss is the ultimate party-game favourite. Now Pong Toss Pro takes it to the next level by featuring a completely redesigned throwing system for complete accuracy and improved graphics. Also new to Pong Toss Pro is Tournament Mode. You can have a four-, eight-, or 16-team bracket play in Pong Toss & Speed Pong. Pong Toss Pro features six regulation tables and the ability to modify simple house rules. Rock it with a high-energy rock soundtrack; listen to the announcer commenting on your play. Rule the table with Fireball bonuses for consecutive shots. In Speed Pong, up to three challengers can compete at the same time. Speed and strategy are the keys to this fast-paced game. Jack up your opponents by using a slew of power-ups that will slow them down. The first one who sinks the last cup wins it all.
Robin Hood: The Return of Richard Publisher: Nordcurrent Players: 1 ESRB Rating: E 10+ (Everyone 10 and Older) – Violence Price: 500 Wii Points Description: While Richard, the true King of England, is absent from his throne, his country rages in chaos. England has been invaded, and enemies burn and destroy local towns and villages. After the house of expert archer and hunter Robin Hood was burned down, he, together with a group of free archers like himself, hides in Sherwood Forest and begins his fight for justice. The fate of the people now lies in your hands. Help Robin to defeat the villains and restore peace in this shooting game.
Features: * Complete 12 levels, defeating numerous enemies and visiting different locations in medieval England * Search for hidden objects to get bonus points * Fight with super villains, such as the Sheriff of Nottingham * Replay the game to improve your score in the High Score Table
Mario Tennis Original platform: Nintendo 64 Publisher: Nintendo Players: 1-4 ESRB Rating: E (Everyone) Price: 1000 Wii Points Description: The Mushroom Kingdom welcomes another sport to its lineup in the Nintendo 64 smash Mario Tennis. In addition to the bright graphics and intuitive, but incredibly tight, controls that all Mario™ games are known for, a cast of 16 Nintendo characters (including the first introduction of Waluigi™) is ready to take to the court. Along with the ability to unnerve an opponent by varying shots and precisely target their destination, each character has specific attributes in categories such as speed, power and control, all of which combine to offer multiple play styles to choose from. A variety of game modes ranging from a standard tournament to the crazy, item-filled Bowser Stage will keep you – and up to three of your friends – running around the court for quite some time. Whether trying to unlock all the secrets in single-player mode or challenging friends with some intense fun in multiplayer mode, this is a game that definitely holds its serve.
Maestro! Green Groove Publisher: Neko Entertainment Players: 1 ESRB Rating: E (Everyone) – Animated Blood, Comic Mischief Price: 500 Nintendo DSi Points Description: Hello. Do you like music? Do you like platforms? Do you like pink bird-like things? Do you like the jungle? You'll love Maestro! Green Groove edition! So jump in and enjoy this wonderful feeling of being a virtuoso using your heart, stylus and voice. Everything you do is music – EVERYTHING! Hit the spiders to play some drums, shoot the fruit to bring out the melody, pinch the strings to play the tune and so on. Challenge the mischievous Staccato the Spider in a melodious battle in which the most talented one will win. For those of you who have no fear, once you have finished the adventure, you can activate the SING/WHISTLE mode to bug everyone around you with your precious talents. And for the talented ones, there is an improvisation mode in which you'll play the levels with the instruments and at the speed of your choice. Enjoy, Maestros from all around the world!
Date or Ditch Publisher: Gameloft Players: 1 ESRB Rating: T (Teen) – Mild Suggestive Themes Price: 500 Nintendo DSi Points Description: Think you're a real Casanova? Let's see how you act in real-life situations when you face a whole gamut of dates, from romantic to wild. Date or Ditch is an absorbing dating adventure for both guys and girls, testing you through an evolving scenario. Discover unique game play mixing social simulation, hilarious face-to-face conversations and fun quizzes. Randomly meet someone at a party, go to the movies together, invite your date to dinner and more. And a surprise visit from your ex may spice up your love story a bit. Enter even deeper into the game thanks to the exclusive camera feature: Add your photo within the game and change your face according to your feelings. In real life, make sure you are compatible with your date by taking the Love Test: Based on your names and appearance, are you made for each other? Love has always been a game. We just made it more fun.
Animal colour Cross Publisher: Little Worlds Studio Players: 1 ESRB Rating: E (Everyone) Price: 500 Nintendo DSi Points Description: Get hooked on colourful puzzles. The goal of the game is to reconstruct a mysterious animal image that lies beneath the grid. You just need to fill in each square of the grid with one of the appropriate colours available. To solve the puzzle, you can simply deduce the right colour by using the numbers written around the grid. Don't worry, a short tutorial shows you the basic rules within a minute. Puzzle-solving champs, sudoku fans or even kids can enjoy the game. You can play 72 individual grids in up to 50 hours of game play. Players can select among eight levels presented as geographical zones including Europe, Oceania, North Pole, Pacific, North America and South America to discover local fauna. Enter a new world filled with fancy coloured pixel art.
Ancient Tribe Publisher: CIRCLE Entertainment Players: 1 ESRB Rating: E (Everyone) – Cartoon Violence Price: 500 Nintendo DSi Points Description: In the ancient world of Savage, you play the god of an ancient tribe in this real-time strategy game. Expand your village by guiding its inhabitants on the hunting grounds to find food and resources. Use them to upgrade your village and increase its population. When the primitive tribe develops to a certain level, they will build a temple to pay tribute to your mightiness. You can recruit new troops and research new classes of tribal people by upgrading the existing tribe's equipment and technology. Besides improving your tribe you can improve your godly powers by sacrificing some of your tribesmen and resources. On the hunting ground your tribe will explore forests, deserts, volcanoes and frozen lands. They will meet various kinds of beasts such as boars, elephants and even dinosaurs. You can help trap and tame them so your tribe can ride on them as part of your army and hunting troop.
Brain Drain Publisher: Enjoy Gaming Players: 1 ESRB Rating: E (Everyone) Price: 500 Nintendo DSi Points Description: Brain Drain is a funny and challenging puzzle game. You have to place the elements of a scrambled puzzle according to a given model. Select four elements at a time with the stylus and spin them to move the elements to the right positions. Some puzzles may feature malicious game effects that will slow you down during your puzzle solving. There are three game modes to choose from:
* Challenge: 200 fixed puzzles with preset best times to solve and beat. * Race: A stream of puzzles and best time tables to beat in four difficulty levels. * Random: Relaxed, random puzzling that continues endlessly.
Battle of Giants: Mutant Insects – Revenge
Publisher: Ubisoft Players: 1-4 ESRB Rating: E 10+ (Everyone 10 and Older) – Animated Blood, Mild Fantasy Violence Price: 800 Nintendo DSi Points Description: After the defeat of the Mutant King, the Mutant Queen rose up from the core of the Earth and forced the remaining giant insects into submission. Now it is your job to locate and free the Scorpion Champion, the only giant insect with the ability to defeat the Mutant Queen. Complete 10 new missions, defeat your enemies and liberate the Scorpion Champion! customise your giant insect with tribal stripes, equip it with special powers and enhance your abilities. Challenge your friends to duels of supremacy on the Nintendo DS™ system. Are you strong enough to win this Battle of Giants?