Video Game Beard Wars: The Winners And Losers

For the past few days, the video game industry has waged a beard war in our inbox, grown men doing battle not with fists or firearms, but with braids, themes and names. Names for their beards.

What began as an innocent request for challengers last week has become an expedition into the darkest recesses of beardhood, with many developers proving that they're perhaps in the wrong line of work, and that instead of making video games for a living, they should be riding bikes around in tight leather pants.

That or jumping in longboats and pillaging the coastlines of Europe.

It was tough coming up with winners, but I am paid to make the tough decisions, so make them I have. Below then are the winners of our inaugural "Kotaku 2010 Might Of Beardface" awards. There are no trophies or prizes, simply the right to boast at their next arm-wrestling tournament or mead-swilling competition that their beard is one of the game industry's mightiest. Or most beautiful. Or both!

To see the winners (and everyone else), check out the gallery to the left there.


Darin Beaver, Senior VFX Artist, High Voltage Software (The Conduit, Harvey Birdman)

Darin's beard is mighty. And furious. And long. But also beautiful, in that it has an amazing two-tone colour scheme going on, and rather than looking mangy or unkempt, seems to have the texture of a pony's mane. A beard to be proud of, no matter the century.


Sage Merrill, Lead Sandbox Designer, Bungie (Halo series)

Merrill's beard is not a beard. It is a weapon, bounds at several points to create a thick, seemingly deadly face-truncheon, which with one whip of his head could surely render a man unconscious.


Patrice Désilets, Formerly Ubisoft (Assassin's Creed series, current whereabouts unknown)

The man who kicked this whole thing off simply by making me think of his face whenever I see a beard, Patrice's mane is not that of a biker, or a Viking, or a lighthouse keeper. That's not his path. His is instead a luxury beard. An expensive Persian rug. A velour suit. The soft skin on a puppy's back. A doormat made of unicorn hair...


Matt MacLean, Lead Systems Designer, Obsidian (Fallout: New Vegas, Alpha Protocol)

This beard may not be the longest, or the angriest, or the prettiest, but for a complete package, it's hard to go past the whole Moby Dick theme. The beard itself is great, but the duffel coat and pipe to go with it are greater.


Red Storm Entertainment (Ghost Recon series)

Bethesda's 2008 beard-off to celebrate Fallout 3's launch is an admirable one, but I can't go past Red Storm's quartet of beard belonging to men that should video games ever lose their appeal, could easily make a living robbing stagecoaches. They also score points for giving their beards names, like "Irish Castro" and the "Cap'n".

Lee Taylor, VFX Artist, Sumo Digital

Dane Olds, Artist, Bethesda

Bethesda Beard-Off, 2008

Justin Leeper, Mode Director, Yuke's

Randy Greenback, Creative Director, Red Storm Entertainment

Chris Port, AI Engineer, Red Storm Entertainment

Kevin Sizer, Level Designer, Red Storm Entertainment

Michael Climer, Senior Vehicles & Weapons Artist, Red Storm Entertainment

Brent LaDue, Artist, Vicarious Visions

Tom French, Formerly Of Pandemic

Darin Beaver, Senior VFX Artist, High Voltage Software

Sage Merrill, Lead Sandbox Designer, Bungie

Matt MacLean, Lead Systems Designer, Obsidian

Patrice Désilets, Formerly Of Ubisoft


    Hahaha, i have thoroughly enjoyed this series of beard posts. Well done and congratulations to the winner! You are MAN.

    I don't know what happened, don't look at me funny, but I was totally enjoying stroking my dog whilst checking out these glorious beards.

    Darin Beaver & Sage Merrill sport the kind of beards I would grow if I could grow a beard.



    If only you could bottle beard essence and salt the earth with it, the world would be a better place.

    Dane Olds should have gotten a mention - that's some nice thick facial rug going on there, lumberjack or Colombian Colonel style.

    Matt MacLean's facial expression just makes me laugh.

    Also Justin Leeper scares me...

    Clucth had that one song in that L4D2 ad. So I demand this beard be recognised!

    hi there,

    i´m not sure if this interesting for you, but i made an illustrative quiz of berads in videogames...

    if you like to, feel free to post it on kotaku! :)

    cheers from germany,

    sebastian BARTO kalitzki

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