To mark the launch this week of 2K’s gritty and authentic open world crime sim, we have a host of Mafia gear to give away. Today it’s the PC’s turn.
Thanks to our friend at 2K Games, we have FIVE Mafia II “gangster” packs to give away. We’ll be giving away one each day this week. Each pack contains:
* Mafia II game
* Mafia II t-shirt
* Mafia II cufflinks
* Mafia II artbook
* Mafia II moneyclip
So how do you win today’s PC pack? Easy. We’re switching it up to… haiku!
Because you love haiku. Hit us up with your mafia themed haiku in the comments. The cleverest/wittiest haiku will win. Or if not, possibly just the one I like the most.
You’ve got until midnight tonight to get your entry in. The winner will be announced at 10am tomorrow when we open a new draw. No multiple entries please, but if you don’t win you’re welcome to try again tomorrow with a new entry.
And yesterday’s 360 winner is… Jamie, who entered multiple times and is lucky that his first – and thus only eligible entry – was by far his best:
There once was a gangster named Marcus
Who was always confused near a carcass
Couldn’t find a horse head
To put in someone’s bed
So chopped Sarah Jessica Parker’s.
Shouts out to Dutch, Andrew Low, Stevorooni, Fat Shady, Capybara and Bukake Kane for all making my decision very difficult.
awww not even an honerable mention! haha – At least Shady did! haha
Although, the winner was most deserving, that final line was just epic! Very well done Jamie!
Good luck to today’s PC entrants! 😀
Have to be happy with an Hon mention.
And yeah, as a fan of Family guy especially, the SJP horse face jokes are great. Although my fav line from that show about her is something like
“they let SJP on TV and her face looks like a foot!”
But yeah, good winner.
Bwahaha! Well played Jamie!
And onto today’s comp:
The perfect gangster:
Pin stripes, bank jobs, tommy guns.
NEVER evades tax.
Awesome, thanks guys! Now what do I need to do? You’ll email me?
I’ll contact all the winners at the conclusion of the competition.
There once was a gangster named Samps
Who was contracted to take out some tramps
But he ran out of ammunition
and was hungry from malnutrition
So he had to GIVE THEM THE CLAMPS!
crap it’s haiku – hopefully you’ll allow this:
Being a made man
People are afraid of you
Even small puppies
No worries!
I’d like you to say
hello to my little friend
they call him scarface
Blood guts gore and brains
Spatter onto unshaven
Mafia merkins
LOL! Classy, mate!
What Kind of Gangster
Willingly defies the boss?
Must have fish fetish
I laughed hard at this one
Click of the hammer,
Cold metal deals swift vengeance.
Prayer won’t save you now.
My name was Tommy
I enjoyed wacking wise guys
Then my time arrived
Muffled scream
Cold concrete shoes
Under waves
August Days,
Wasted Away…
Killing for the mob
Exactly twelve syllables, “season word”, and cuts in it. Wiki, I hope you are right on what a haiku should be like!
haiku should be 5,7,5
WIKI, WHY DID YOU LIE TO ME!
haha unlucky
Gangsters don’t back stab
It is just moving forward
Like Gillard to Rudd
Guns, Knives and Money.
Equal Mafia Honey.
Be Prepared to Kill.
Is it true, she asks
Don’t ask about my business,
Michael is now Don
Mafioso Vito,
Impavido e Forte;
Simile a Ezio.
The hit was put out.
‘The Cleaner’ was contracted.
Maid un-made made man.
He’s a rat bastard!
You have to whack him, Tony
It’s the Don’s orders.
On PC, it’s dark.
You are likely to be whacked
by Italian grues.
Pinkies cut with knife,
Honour code governs their life.
Oops, that’s Yakuza.
All the wise guys know,
Working in waste management,
Is the solution.
Wrecked my damn taxi.
Luigi’s hot daughter in trouble.
8th in Salieri’s annoying race.
Whoops wrong game.
Whoops 3 lines, hope I can edit out a line…
Wrecked my damn taxi.
8th in Salieri’s annoying race.
Whoops wrong game.
Must escape burning building.
Hard to breathe, shot up buddy.
Oh look a Playboy…
Fixed regional price
It’s just daylight robbery
Damn you 2K Games
Gansters want me dead
Better hide under the bed
Lest they take my head
No gaming PC;
Just practicing my Haiku’s.
Want a console game!
Mafia’s a game
That I will not play a lot
Centrefolds distract
Wearing concrete shoes.
Well, at least I can hold my
breath for ten minutes.
The wise guy
Dark suit and shades
Cold steel gun
Standing above me
A bullet entered my head
The suit felt nothing
Reviews not sterling
Still want to win shiny game
Because I’m gangster
There once was a gangster named Wildgoose,
Tried to shake the Kotaku Mob loose
Now he’s broken the vows
Of this game ‘thing of ours’
We’ll make him an offer he can’t refuse
It’s haiku today!
Damn, I want that 5mins of my life back! I’ll read the fine print better next time 😉
Ok hope this counts:
A race for the Don
His daughter wants me to win
First I’ll need the patch
There once was a gangster named Tony
His accent, though thick, was not phony
Do as he wishes
Or you’ll sleep with the fishes
Assisted, of course, by his cronies
I repeat, it’s haiku today!
Mario and I,
wacked bowser for the dame, but
the dame wasn’t there.
Mafia demo,
Ten minute time limit. But,
Seventeen hours played.
Started fish racket
Mobsters offered protection
I don’t sleep with fish!
The gangster pondered
If I shoot in the forest
Will anyone hear?
When the Don tells you,
“Murder that dirty snitch Mike”,
Don’t tell him you’re Mike.
An era of suits,
cheap booze and floozy women,
Tne Don’s word is law.
Dick Tracey is in strife
I have my tommy gun tonight
yellow suits stain red
The mask of metal
Hiding the terrible glare
Of a mad killer
All across the world
the empires sprout as blood finds
its way to the floor
Going over to Frank’s
Shit, drove off a big arse bridge
Back to the checckpoint
As the clock struck twelve
bloodshed and carnage begins
Just a normal day
Gun stashed in the john.
Car parked out back. Palms sweaty.
Can I kill the Don??
Gangster once told me
Do not slam doors while erect
Goodbye centerfold
Pistol shotgun loaded
Sirens howling men yelling
Nerves steady pull trigger.