WIN! Mafia II PS3 Gangster Pack

WIN! Mafia II PS3 Gangster Pack

To mark the launch this week of 2K’s gritty and authentic open world crime sim, we have a host of Mafia gear to give away. Today it’s the PlayStation 3 pack.

UPDATE: This draw is now closed.

Thanks to our friend at 2K Games, we have FIVE Mafia II “gangster” packs to give away. We’ll be giving away one each day this week. Each pack contains:

* Mafia II game * Mafia II t-shirt * Mafia II cufflinks * Mafia II artbook * Mafia II moneyclip

So how do you win today’s PS3 pack? Easy. It’s… wait for it… limerick time!

Hit us up in the comments below with your best mafioso-inspired limerick beginning “There once was a gangster named…” The limerick that makes me laugh the hardest will win.

You’ve got until midnight tonight to get your entry in. The winner will be announced at 10am tomorrow when we open a new draw. No multiple entries please, but if you don’t win you’re welcome to try again tomorrow with a new entry.

Good luck!

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Comments

  • There once was a gangster called Mario,
    Who shot up the goombas while snorting blow,
    He stomped on their head with a +1 street cred,
    And forced peach to perform princess tittie show.

    • I just realised I forgot to hit enter, my entry is meant to be formatted as such:

      There once was a gangster called Mario,
      Who shot up the goombas while snorting blow,
      He stomped on their head,
      with a +1 street cred,
      And forced peach to perform princess tittie show.

  • Holy crap – so awesome!
    How i have missed thee, limericks!

    Good luck PS3 goers… I’ll be waiting for the 360 pack 🙂

  • There once was a gangster named Nico
    Who wished his troubles would go
    So he grabbed a gun
    and murdered the town
    but swore he was a good boy

  • There once was a gangster called Dick
    Who shot up his bestfriend…. the prick
    When Dick realised his crime
    That his best friend wasnt fine
    His heart bled until he was sick

  • There once was a gangster named Gillard,
    Who pulled out a hit on a Kevin Rudd,
    Tony Abbott was in her sights,
    But his budgie smugglers put up a fight,
    And now the greens are cooler than elmer fudd.

  • There once was a gangster named Sid Vicious,
    who’s demeanour was notoriously malicious,
    he f***ed the Don’s wife
    who contracted his life
    And now Vicous sleeps with the fishes!

  • There once was a gangster named Fred,
    who awoke in his king size bed.
    He wasn’t alone,
    exhaling with a groan.
    Staring at his wife’s horse like head!

  • There once was a gangster named Gillard,
    Who duked it out in the polls with a retard,
    Much to the gamers’dissent,
    An R-rating was absent,
    Perhaps that should’ve been her trump card?

  • There once was a gangster named Matt,
    Who entered to win a game pack,
    If he doesn’t win,
    the Goose will soon swim
    face down with all of the fishes.

    see.

  • There once was a gangster named Shawn,
    a thug since the day he was born,
    at least in videogames,
    but it’s not quite the same,
    REAL gangsters don’t get to respawn.

  • There once was a gangster called Steve
    He runs a business selling to fools
    With his slaves he builds shiny tools
    Also he has glasses…

  • There once was a gangster named Tony,
    A club owner and a mobster crony,
    he featured in a game,
    disguised by the name,
    The Ballad of Gay Tony.

  • There once was a gangster named Eugene
    He enjoys things that are Obscene
    He was removed during beta
    Cause 2k had to cater
    To Australia that lacks an R18

  • There was once a ganster called fatty.
    He sat at home eating lollies.
    He wacked men in there willy,
    so they could make no more billys.
    He liked men more than the ladies.
    That is why he loved his lollies.

  • There was once was a gangster named Sheamus,
    Who planned to point the finger and name us.
    So we put out the word,
    to silence this turd.
    It’s our way of life, can you blame us?

  • there once was a gangster named lil wayne
    left a gun on his bus now hes in pain
    he dropped the soap in the crowded shower
    even tupac can hear him holler
    now hes known as lil jane

  • There once was a gangster named Desmond,
    A veteran mobster, a reverend,
    With god by his side,
    He commited genocide,
    And continued his life as a legend.

  • There was once a gangster named Heather
    Who liked to don black leather
    But the Don gave her a slap
    So she called the cops
    You have gone too far Paul! screamed Heather

  • There was once a gangster named tHe Go0se,
    Notorious for limerick misuse.
    Saying there were prizes to be won
    Though he’d secretly just make fun
    Of the poetic aberrations let loose.

  • There once was a ganster named Mary,
    A cutie, but not very scary,
    Her horsey named Toff,
    Had its head cut clean off,
    Toff’s a table now under the telly.

  • There once was a gangster named Mitch,
    who really wanted to get rich,
    He went round the enemy town,
    Running a protection shakedown,
    And now he sleeps wit da fish.

  • There once was a gangster named Tony,
    though everyone knew he was phoney,
    he had a tommy-gun,
    he smuggled in rum,
    but he never ate mommas macaroni.

  • There once was a ganster named Robotnik
    Whose Chaos Emeralds would enslave the planet quite quick
    But his defenses for his plots
    Suffered rampant weak spots
    That could be spotted by a mutant marsupial called Sonic

  • There once was a gangster named Fred
    Who liked to shotgun people in the head.
    One day he dropped all his shells,
    When startled by a herd of gazelles
    So he bludgeoned him with a crowbar instead.

  • There once was a gangster called Isaac,
    Who went in after a planet crack,
    His poor wife was bled,
    The whole ship was dead,
    And then his poor mind went snap.

  • There once was a gangster named Fat Tony
    Who was so feared he was kind of lonely
    He Loved a good meal
    Was eating the veal
    When he choked to death on a macaroni

  • There once was a gangster named De Niro,
    for De Palma and Coppola he could show,
    a great mafia kingpin,
    sadly his recent roles have been,
    way below even todays status quo :'(

  • There once was a gangster named Chopper,
    his occupation could not have been rougher,
    he cut off some toes,
    made some murderous foes,
    but it was on himself that he inflicted ‘Chop-ear’

  • There once was a gangster named Bill
    Who found it hard to get a thrill
    He threatened developers with a hit
    To make the PS3 version look like shit
    Job is done,grass is gone as is all freewill

  • There once was a gangster named Fred
    Who claimed he was in the wrong bed
    but the don was irate
    and yelled ‘its too late’
    you would rather him than me on your head

  • There once was a gangster named Molyneux
    Whose own fate he was determined to sow
    With his twisted, forked tongue
    Many false truths were sprung
    Now all the fuzz could find was his big toe

  • There once was a gangster named joe
    who rose up with that drug they call blow
    While Paulie had clout
    Joe whacked him right out
    and now he’s running the show

  • There once was a gangster named Henry
    Who thought all these rats “can’t touch me”
    He schemed with his ma
    Drew his rivals to a bar
    And filled em with holes not so gently

  • There once was a gangster named Bjorn
    He loved to play his new trumpet horn
    The mob did not take a shine
    To his cover of Cheap Wine
    So now hes fertiliser for the lawn

  • As far back as I can remember,
    I’ve always wanted to be a gangster.
    As a gamer i’m no slouch
    but due to sitting on a couch
    I’ll have to settle for being a Mafia Pretender.

  • There once was a gangster named Cody
    Whose pride and joy was a cup winning pony
    He refused to be led
    Went defiantly to bed
    If you don’t know the rest you can phone me

  • There once was a gangster named Lynch,
    who helped his friend Kane in a pinch,
    as the story went on,
    and everything went wrong,
    they both found killing a cinch.

  • There once was a gangster named Brawler.
    Though he wasn’t much the aggressor but the staller.
    He was really short, skinny and white.
    Spoke with no italian accent or with bite.
    I guess being gangster is alot easier with a controller.

  • There once was a gangster named David,
    Who’s passion for crime never waivered,
    Some called him Wildgoose,
    Others just footloose,
    For he’d kill you with dance if he favoured

  • There once was a gangster named Bob,
    Who was in real deep with the mob.
    He wore tonnes of bling,
    Tortured guys to make ’em sing,
    And really loved corn on the cob.

  • There once was a gangster named Matt
    He didn’t like crime and he was fat
    He’d pretend to hassle shops
    But preferred to eat lamb chops
    At least he got to wear a sweet hat

  • There once was a gangster named Pelvis,
    Who struts like Elvis,
    He went to vegas with his guns,
    but ended up being a bum.

  • There once was a gangster named Bend
    Who started this inapproriate trend
    If forced to confess
    He’d quickly undress
    And respond ‘Say hello to my little friend!’

  • There is a small city in Tuscany,
    who are peved at the portrayal of Italy,
    Sony say its a game,
    but they’ll sue all the same,
    and delay the game more than a month you’ll see.

  • There once was a gangster named K1llsen,
    who railed and LG’d like a demon,
    he outplayed strenx,
    then topped the best,
    beating rapha at gamescom twenty-ten.

    Was some good games to watch this weekend just gone 😀

  • There once was a gangstar named David
    Whose writing was the weapon he favoured
    Through posters a-glut
    His articles would cut
    ‘Twas the gory o’ text that he savoured

  • There once was a gangster named Luigi
    Who was awfully fond of the Ouija
    The Don he found out
    And because he’s devout
    He beat him to death with a squeegee.

    • There once was gangster named Orange
      But because of his red hair he was called Ginge
      There are a few more words that rhyme
      But I just don’t have the time
      As I’m watching the show called the Fringe

  • There once was a gangster named Bobby Kotick
    Who many consider to be a prick
    It’s human nature to rip on the biggest CEO
    As probably most of you may know
    Many used to call Larry Probst a dick

  • There was once a gangster called Green
    Who rubbed his penis in some gelatine
    He then gripped his cock
    And used it to clean his Glock
    Unfortunately he won’t be passing on his genes

  • The once was a gangster named Frank
    His friends all called him the tank
    When he drank booze
    He’d take off all his clothes and shoes
    Which was a sign there was too much beer drank

  • There once was a gangster named Capone
    Who was afraid of being alone
    So on Valentines Day
    He made his enemies pay
    And since then has always been well known

  • There once was a gangster named Jabba
    Who cornered Han Solo at the ships hanger
    Han stepped on his tail
    And told him the cheque’s in the mail
    But that only made Jabba madder!

    There once was a gangster named Greedo
    Who had the complexion of a leprechauns speedo
    He finally caught up with Han
    But wasnt watching his hand
    Who shot himUnder the table with a torpedo

  • There once was a gangster named Fonz
    Whose ineptness makes him such a Stronz.
    His hands turn to Jello
    when whaking a fellow,
    Can’t beleive he’s the son of the Don’s.

  • There once was a gangster named John Smith,
    He would hit you with a +10 Walking stick of Walking
    Wear a paper mask and a pink balaclava
    Never ever seen with laughter
    He has seen his master.

  • There once was a gangster named Blaster
    with no tolerance to gluten or pasta.
    The Don came for a meal,
    a two for one pizza deal,
    Which turned to a gastro disaster.

  • There once was a gangster named Rabbit
    Who wouldn’t learn how to cohabit
    Though no fluffy bunny
    He had one fine honey
    A violent den he had to inhabit

  • There once was a gangster named Bob
    Who was given a really tough job
    He wanted that game
    But his limericks were lame
    Looks like he’ll just have to rob

  • There was once was a gangster named Freeman,
    Who in the end was saved by G-man.
    Not once did he talk
    All he did was walk.
    Now the fans ask, where is episode 3 man?

  • there once was a gangster named Cherry
    who traveled only by ferry
    when they asked him why he’d been given
    the least fortunate name in prison
    cherry winced, “forget abou’ it, it’s too scary.”

  • There once was a gangster called Vito
    Who was mates with a badass called joe
    They both shot eddie
    Who wasn’t even ready
    Cause they needed the $2,000 dough

  • There once was a ganster named Raynor,
    after loosing his girl he became a drainer,
    a revolution he lead,
    to sever Minsks head,
    in a hailstorm of blood and gore

  • THERE WAS A YOUNG CHAPPY NAMED EARL,
    WHO LIVED ALL HIS LIFE IN A WHIRL.
    HE LIVED IN THE FAST LANE,
    HAD HIS OWN PRIVATE PLANE,
    WITH A PILOT, AN EX BUNNY GIRL!

  • there once was a ganster called vito
    the digital representation of mafia life meant to be incognito
    the americans say hey
    that was never our way
    gritty mafia ka peshko!

  • There once was a mobster named Lou,
    Who despite the protests of his peers still read Kotaku,
    For the latest goss on games, be it console or system,
    Was more important to him,
    Than knee-capping blokes and smacking bitches!

  • There once was a gangster named Tony
    Who loved to eat cannelloni
    The cops all said “freeze”
    But one bite of cheese
    Put him on ice like Zamboni

  • There once was a gangster named Mack.
    Who moments from now would be wacked.
    In his bathroom he should have looked,
    His goose would soon be cooked,
    And all he could could do was say “quack”.

  • there once was a gangster with hairy tits
    which were also riddled with nits
    he tired to wash them out
    but all they did was shout
    “screw you stupid twit!”

  • There once was a gangster named Rob
    Who seemed to be a bit of a snob.
    “Nintendo is gay,”
    he often would say
    and he caused all the fanboys to sob.

  • There once was a gangster named Frugal
    Who sat at his computer and mu-sed
    On a cold August night
    “This Week in Games,” gave a fright
    Many games without funds to afford them
    With Kotaku’s giving demeanour
    I’ll have it all without touching the Visa 🙂

  • There once was a gangster named Vito Corleone
    Who spoke not in words, but in grunts and moans
    No one could understand a word that he said
    So they accidently put a horse’s head in his bed
    A stupid mistake he won’t ever condone!

  • There once was a gangster named Atkinson
    In his game-free office he garrisoned
    “Michael!” cried gamers,
    Armed with lazors n’ tazors,
    They charged into his office and shocked him.

  • There once was a gangster named Guido,
    Who trained killer birds in tuxedos,
    Despite quite a struggle,
    The budgies he smuggled,
    Fired prematurely whilst still in his speedos.

  • There was once gangster named Alma,
    He’d go around causing lots of drama,
    Driving around in a Hummer,
    All day throughout the Summer,
    AK’s in the trunk, and Glocks in the back,
    Mutha-f*cker this gangster is whack!
    Dayuummm…

  • There once was gangster named Bob
    Who got caught by the pigs on the job
    He was locked in a cell
    cursed right down to hell
    And reconsidered his life with the mob

  • There once was a gangster named Don Vito
    He was Italiano
    In his tomato garden,
    His heart seemed to harden,
    Then he was no moar.

  • There once was a gangster named Denzel
    Whose pencahnt for smuggling was swell
    His girl bought him a chinchilla
    The cops found their Atilla
    Now he’s turned states to prevail

  • There once was a gangster named Donnie
    Who had all the roll he could want, see
    Got caught and turned fink
    For the FBI you would think
    Before being minced like Baloni

  • There once was a gangster named Tony
    His accent, though thick, was not phony
    Do as he wishes
    Or you’ll sleep with the fishes
    Assisted, of course, by his cronies

  • There once was a gangster named Birdie,
    he looks like a certain somebody,
    he carries a tool,
    and pities the fool,
    a British born blonde Mr T.

  • There once was a gangster named Bazza
    Who grassed on his mates for Susanna
    Unfortunately for him,
    He’d had to much Gin
    And Susanna was really Sir Dazza.

  • There once was a gangster named Dwight,
    Who always got into fights,
    He thought he was 2pac,
    You should see his bling rack,
    If only he wasn’t white.

  • There once was a gangster named Finch
    Who worked on the side as a snitch
    He ratted out Max Payne
    Got deathrow for Kane
    And was inmate 88 killed by Lynch!

  • There once was a gangster named Lars,
    Who liked to throw piss jars.
    Making a hit,
    On his boss: a Crit,
    Now he’s top singer in gay bars.

  • There once was a gangster named Tony
    While in jail was feeling a little lonely
    So he rat on his crew
    They’d soon join him too
    For his safety, Tony is held in solitary only

  • There once was a gangster troll on a forum
    Who whined that the posts always bored em
    so all the others said
    get it into your head
    that nobody asked you to score em

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