To mark the launch this week of 2K's gritty and authentic open world crime sim, we have a host of Mafia gear to give away. Today it's the Xbox 360's turn.
Thanks to our friend at 2K Games, we have FIVE Mafia II "gangster" packs to give away. We'll be giving away one each day this week. Each pack contains:
* Mafia II game * Mafia II t-shirt * Mafia II cufflinks * Mafia II artbook * Mafia II moneyclip
So how do you win today's Xbox 360 pack? Easy. Hit us up in the comments below with your best mafioso-inspired limerick beginning "There once was a gangster named..." The limerick that makes me laugh the hardest will win.
You've got until midnight tonight to get your entry in. The winner will be announced at 10am tomorrow when we open a new draw. No multiple entries please, but if you don't win you're welcome to try again tomorrow with a new entry.
And yesterday's PS3 winner is... Andy Pants 2000 for this unexpected gem:
There once was a gangster named Guido, Who trained killer birds in tuxedos, Despite quite a struggle, The budgies he smuggled, Fired prematurely whilst still in his speedos.
Shouts out to RufusLives, Setsuma Saigami, Sean, sam, Ben Dy, yikes, Luke, James C and Stevorooni (who nearly won it with his genius final line). You all made me laugh.
Comments
There once was a gangster named Terrence
Who had very little experience
Pulled the trigger to shoot
Blew off his own foot
Demonstrating Police Quest common sense
Revision (if allowed):
There once was a gangster named Terrence
Who had not so much common sense
Pulled the trigger to shoot
Blew off his own foot
T'was the Police Quest experience
There once was a gangster named Andy,
With guns he was rather quite handy,
But try as he might,
in a fist fight,
Turns out he was a just big pansy.
Unrelated - Could we have sent the gangster to Nantucket? :P
There once was a gangster named Bob,
he was thrilled by his new mafia job,
but as his first day did start,
he let slip a toxic fart,
now he's no longer welcome by the mob!
There once was a gangster called Tony,
with a solid girth, he was a typical crony.
Shot in the head,
through tears his Mum shed:
"All he ever wanted was a miniature Pony"
There once was a gangster named Neville
With the ladies he was quite the devil
But only on dating games
He'd get all the great dames
In real life he couldn't beat the first level
There once was a gangster named Seamus
Who thought David was getting a little to famous
Little did the public know
He had it in for that so and so
So he made him resign what a ignoramus
Here is the visual proof of my conspiracy
http://www.kotaku.com.au/2008/10/competition_saints_row_2_giveaway_wannabe_gangsta_stylez/
There once was a gangster named "Sue",
who knew just what to do.
If his name got a laugh,
the guy's [crotch] chopped in half.
"The girl here, was me, now it's you!"
There once was a gangster named Wander,
Though others called him Wanda.
Sixteen colossi did he kill
with oh so much skill
But why no giant panda?
There once was a gangster named Betty
Whose arm pits would get very sweaty
The smell got so strong
The mob couldnt bear the pong
So they buried her under a jetty
There once was a gangster named tony
whom loved more than just cannelloni
for when the Don's not around
he plays, with the curtains down
his headless "My Little Pony"
There once was a gangster named Ringo,
He ate Big Mobs of burgers every Smoko.
His waist got fatter and fatter...
Ringo's now an Armchair-Gangster,
As he just plays GTA, Mafia and Saints Row!
Well done Andy Pants, had a great laugh with your won, well deserved. I was so tempted to make Ringo hail from 'Nantucket' in this one! But that would be a cheap one, ha!
There once was a gangster named Salvatore
His day job, though fun, was quite gory
Armed with his Tommy, shooting mobsters left and right
He quickly worked up a mighty appetite
Which was satisfied with his mother’s chicken cacciatore
There once was a gangster called Reg
Who Went with a Girl in a Hedge
Along came his wife
With a big Carving Knife
And cut off his meat and two veg
There once was a gangster called *insert name*
He was tough, a *insert level of fame*
But I shot him dead
Bam! Right through the head
Achievement Unlocked - *insert much acclaim*
I couldn't think of a more generic gangster gaming limerick, alas.
There once was a gangster named Shirley,
and although his name was quite girly,
he would make tough demands,
kill guys with his hands,
and had a girlfriend who looked like Liz Hurley.
There once was a gangster named Bugsy,
Who threw lame cream pies that were sludgy,
He hijacked the Splurge,
And now has the urge,
To shoot off his load at Don Fugsly.
There once was a gangster named Harry
That was indeed quite contrary
Given his pardon
To grow his garden
For bodies to hide and bury
There once was a gangster named Tony
What?, you don't believe me? Who the F#@K do you think you are. I should come over there and rip your F#@king heart out and wear your skin as a blanket.
Do you beleive this guy?
(This is the toned down version of course)
'Shady.. you effing rock! haha
that was brilliant! :D
Yeah, this totally should win today, sorry loops, FS just stole the show. :)
i know.. and i thought my one was pretty good until i saw this :(
Thanks Gents. I was thinking, what would a Mafia guy do when writing a limerick... and well, that about sums it up. Not sure if i'd be eligible for the win as technically it is NOT a limerick, and we have seen what happens when people go over the word limit etc in other comps.
I will leave it up to the hand of 'David'.
But yeah, was too funny not to do it!
There once was a gangster named Fat Tony,
Who was incredibly bony,
He went on a heist,
and cried "Jesus Christ"
when he realized he had to carry a Sony.
There once was a gangster named Fluffy,
Who woke up with his eyes all puffy,
He'd been on the turps,
And torched some flamboyant perps,
Which made the pink mafia all huffy.
There once was a gangster named Shirly
The others found him quite girly
But he real was tough
And he'd had enough
So he shoot the boys in their pearlys.
There once was a gangster named Skeet,
who's Street Gang could not be beat,
'till Alex and Ryan found him,
and they gave him a good poundin',
until he barfed coins all over the street.
There once was a gangster named Gertrude
Who seemed to always get screwed
He'd hire a girl for the night
But once his manhood was in sight
He'd be locked outside in the nude.
There once was a girl named Bayonetta,
A gangster wronged and on a vendetta,
To win the comp of the century
She rehashed an old entry
By gosh Kotaku just LET HER !!
There once was a gangster named Slink
Whose clothing attire was never in sync
Washed his whites with his reds
From where he had bled
And then rock up to work wearing pink
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