Tell Us Dammit

Dammit, we want you to tell us stuff! Stuff like the most cringeworthy moment you've ever experienced in a game.

This isn’t some marketing survey or whatever. It’s an emotional investment in you. Yes, we’re interested in knowing you, Kotaku reader person. You probably know enough about us — more than you even want to, we’re sure. But, hey, we’d like to know about you, too.

Anyway, here’s today’s question...

Which moment in all of your gaming careers made you cringe the most? This could be an extremely cliched character, dialogue clearly written by an intern, or that moment when you realise you have to go all the way across the map just for one item. Anything really, as long as it was followed by an epic facepalm.


    My most cringeworthy moment in any game was the escort mission in Bioshock, the game was awesome right up to that point, it seems to me that the devs got writers block and couldnt come up with a proper ending so they just shoehorned something in.

    In dragon age they have special kill animations for the bosses. The first time I came across this my character climbed up onto an ogre, stabbing him on the way up, and finishing with a final savage stab to the face. The problem? My character was using a hammer, not a sword. It looked really, really stupid.

    Fang's Australian accent in FF13. I don't know if the voice actor was actually Australian, or if it was someone putting on an Aussie accent, but when I first heard it, I though: Theres no way we ACTUALLY sound like that.

      On the subject of Final Fantasy XIII... Any time Vanille opens her mouth.

        Completely agree. I'd rather listen to Julia Gillard speak for an hour than hear Vanille speak for 5 mins.

        Any moment in that abomination for me...very dissapointed SquareEnix, very dissapointed.

    [Obligatory FFX Tidus and Yuna laughing scene mention here]
    I wonder if it was just as bad in the Japanese version. :\

      Yeah, that was pretty bad. Come to think of it, there was a fair few cringe-worthy moments in FFX.

      What about FFX-2 with the whole singing thing? Never has a 25yo man felt like such a teenage girl while playing a video game...

    The moment in Gears of War 2 when Cole Train picks up the Locust PA system (although the fact the Locust HAVE a PA system is face palm enough) and proceeds to lay the 'smack talk' down on the Locusts and their queen in his own... style.

    A solid three hours of tension and excitement building up to the confrontation with the Locust Queen snuffed out like a candle with this epic facepalm of a mood killing moment.

    Here's hoping the character gets a dramatic death early in Gears 3.

      I just facepalmed when I found out GoW has a dood name COAL TRAIN.

    Trying to place 1st in any race of Mario Kart 64. It was unbelievable how many times that happened — right as I was about to cross the finish line, Yoshi or Luigi would burst from 6th place and fire past me like Spaceball One at Ludicrous Speed.

    Pretty much any time anyone talks in FFXIII. Made me want to stab my ears out every single time.

    Like, all the Resident Evil 4 dialogue. Fantastic game unless anyone opened their mouth.

    The memory has faded to a dull ache, but...the dialogue screens in MGS2. I barely made any progress into the game before giving up on it - I just wanted to beat my head against a wall every time there was a conversation.

    Marine the Raccoon in Sonic Rush Adventure on the DS. Just reading the dialogue with the forced Australian 'ocker-isms' made me cringe.


      In fact, Sonic games in general (since Adventure) have been filled with many a cringeworthy line or seven. Although, I think Tails in Sonic 06 takes the cake. The dialogue was bad enough, but with Tails' animations making him swing his arms around like a puppet and run like somebody with some sort of mental condition, I think this particular moment is both one of the most cringeworthy AND entertaining moments in Sonic cutscene history.

      It even beats out both "Find the computer room!" and "Where's that damn fourth Chaos Emerald?" from Shadow the Hedgehog, IMHO.

    Opening theme song of Phantasy Star Portable 2.


    I had a massive *facepalm* moment just last night in fact.

    I play MW2, but I like to play honest. I don't use the Intervention, I don't use claymores or the noob tube, I'm not a chronic knifer, a glitcher, a booster or a camper... and I find usually I'm at least top three, and I like to think it's because I keep it simple. But I was playing free for all, and it was really really getting to me, and I felt like it was just bad luck. I was using the Kriss with a silencer (plus cold blooded, scrambler and scavenger), because I want the "Stealth IV" challenge, and I was getting so frustrated... I was getting maybe one kill for every five or more deaths, and not one of the deaths was by someone pointing their gun at me and shooting me fair and square, it was via explosive, intervention or knife. So out of exasperation, I put together a chronic knifer class... marathon, lightweight and commando, akimbo uzis and a .44 magnum tac-knife. Luck had absolutely nothing to do with my losing streak. I came from getting maybe four or five kills in a match of FFA, and too many deaths to mention, to literally coming first in the next few matches, getting to the 30 kills with no more than 10 deaths... by running around and not firing a single bullet.

    Don't get me wrong, I love MW2, I love the guns and the gameplay... but you know a game has some serious balance issues when it is literally a hell of a lot easier to run around knifing people than it is to shoot them. It puts a whole new spin on the expression "to bring a knife to a gunfight"... You practically teleport to an instant kill with the commando perk and it's fucking beyond laughable how many people use that perk and even that very setup, and use it all the time. Same goes for the intervention, because of the ridiculously upscaled auto aim compared to all the other weapons, it's a sniper rifle with training wheels, you don't even need to fully look through the sights to get an instakill. Yet people still use it and still think it involves some skill.

    MW2 is just so bloated, I love it, it'd be my perfect online FPS if it weren't for a few issues... but I can't stand it at the same time. I'd play Battlefield more often, but the lag is unbearable... I'd play Halo, but I find it to have similar balance issues to MW2 (i.e. it seems to come down to more who has the better weapon than who shoots first...) so until someone makes a perfect online FPS, I'm gonna stick to MW2.

    TL;DR... man that post turned out long... but basically it's easier to knife people in MW2 than it is to shoot them. I cringed so hard my face melted off Raiders of the Lost Ark style.

    Lots of Final Fantasy entries here, heheh. I'm much the same with JRPGs, but as long as the gameplay makes up for it I can tolerate.

      Don't get me wrong, I love the final fantasy series (with the exception of 13 - I HATED that) and especially like FFX. I think to a degree the cringe-worthy moments are deliberate... that laughing thing in FFX was meant to make you roll your eyes and say "Oh my god..", at least I think it was.

      For every cringe worthy moment in an FF game, theres another moment that just makes you sit back and think "Wow", like the scene in FFX where Yuna is performing the Sending in Besaid... beautiful and sad and touching all in one.

        @ Zen Marx: What is the saving moment in FF13?

          I never found out myself... but I hear it ends eventually.

          When you trade it in for something better. Seriously ff13 has no saving moment. My point was that every ff, while packed with cringe worthy moments have redeeming features... With the exception of 13.

      Hmmm, the gameplay in Final Fantasy XIII definately can't make up for Vanille's voice. Actually, when I think about it I don't think there is anything that can save the rest of Final Fantasy XIII either.

    When I played resident evil. The master of unlocking or whatever it was.

    Any animated 'romance' scenes in any voice-acted games (Mass Effect and Dragon Age immediately come to mind).

    I first reaction is to cringe hard, soon followed up by laughing at just how bad it is.

    going for the achievement for using a pardon letter in RDR when your bounty is over $5000. Takes about 15 minutes to get the bounty up, maybe more. And all you do is sit behind a counter and wait for dues to come through a doorway (boring). Got $5500 bounty, walked with no-one around me to the bounty office, checked the achievement and then paid the money.

    No *ding*???

    I had 5 pardon letters but chose to pay cash so no achievement. Had to do it all over again. rage quitted and did it the following night!!!!

    Johnny's comic relief in Metal Gear Solid 4, especially when he shat himself.

    Once in a game of Team Fortress 2 I was playing as a cloak-and dagger spy (right after the spy/sniper update) and hiding in a little recess in a wall on Goldrush.

    Another cloaked spy from the opposite team must have also thought it was a good place to hide, so he walked directly into me and stood facing away from me. I could see him though, as TF2 players will know spies become uncloaked when they touch another person. He hadn't seen me and was facing away from me. Uncloak and backstab. FACEPALM.

    Final Fantasy VII. I couldn't beat the final boss fights and when I hosted a Japanese exchange student he went back and levelled all my characters and finished the game for me. Now its my favourite game of all time.

    The time limit levels at the end of Halo's 1 and 3.

    any of the sex scenes/flirting in Dragon Age/Mass Effect 2. cheesier than the dairy aisle at woolies.

    Pretty much the WHOLE story in Dead Space e.g.
    WHY did I have to buy my own suit upgrades...this is a mining ship so do the miners have to buy/upgrade their own equipment and the company just rakes in more cash?
    WHY were their so many babies on board the Ishimura?!? It was a MINING SHIP! Were all the workers busy boning and having children all the goddamn time?
    WHY was a space walk NECESSARY to reach a defense gun in order to destroy those incoming rocks?!? So every time someone wanted to use that turret they had to go into a goddamn vacuum? THAT is some piss poor ship design!
    I could go on but I'll probably get flamed for being a picky nerd enough as it is.

      I can see where you're coming from, but I didn't mind those aspects of the game.

      The thing that bugged me more was how there were so many parallels to System Shock 2. Fair enough at the end it's more horror than sci fi, but while I played through it, all I could think of was, 'This is just Dead System Space Shock!'

      On your points though, the one I agree with the most is the babies. Even though deep space mining would take years, and so all on board would need support to lead a 'normal' life, I don't think there would be that many.

      You could explain away the suit upgrade thing as an organisational control - engineers buy what they need, and allocate the cost to a job for the company to reimburse.

      The turret issue could be explained away as a design flaw, or a necessity. But I think they're minor.

      IMO only obviously.

Join the discussion!

Trending Stories Right Now