Admit It, You've Always Wanted To Use A Dildo On A Zombie

Lemme tell ya, I have, that game was called "my third marriage." Hey-oooo! But seriously folks, the ESRB summary for Dead Rising 2's DLC mentions a wieldable sex toy. I thought that was the paddlesaw! Bang, pow, zoom ...

Per the ESRB on Dead Rising 2: Case West: "One game area-a lounge with neon 'XXX' and 'Love' signs on the walls-depicts a 'massager' item shaped like a sex toy; players can use the item to strike zombies and human characters."

Alright. I'm gonna combine that with the foam finger and a car battery and now I've got THE SUPER SHOCKER ... Kidding. Dunno if you can do that. Doubt you can. Maybe you can strap a grenade to it for "THE BIG O"? The mind reels.

Dead Rising 2: Case West will be an Xbox 360-only download starring Frank West, the protagonist of the original Dead Rising. Its release date has yet to be given. Tip your waitress, she's workin' hard out there, thank you sweetie.

Dead Rising 2: Case West [ESRB]


Comments

    But u can use dildos in dead rising 2, its not like its anything new.

    I feel so dirty talking bout this.

    That title made me double take.. and the puns were delicious!

    Man, imagine combining it with the boxing gloves to make a wolverine-esque dildo glove!

    Or combine it with a helmet to give you "the rhino"

    Or combine it with a guitar and machine gun for "rock out with your cock out"

    OR combine it with paddle for "paddling the paddle"

    ORRR combine it with zombrex to make injections more appealing...

      Hahahahaha they all made me laugh so hard!

      "ORRR combine it with zombrex to make injections more appealing…"

      Id take one of those injections .. *cough* What?

    Yeah I was kind of hoping you could combine it with a drill to make a drilldo :(

    Well jeeeeze censors, why do we even call it a massager if you go ahead and call it a sex toy anyway?

    This is already in DR2 =/

      It's called 'the massager' in this one, isn't it?...I awkwardly found it in a ladys handbag >.<

    As had been said already... already in the game... does this mean they just missed it from their time with DR2???

    Still funny.

      I think it was worth it for the headline alone.

        First paragraph was pretty damn awesome too. Well worth reporting old news for that!

    I wanna see this guy write more articles haha

    Dildos as weapons in video games is soooo eight years ago. There was a big purple 'massager' in the showers in the police station in GTA San Andreas you could club people with.

    We need to evolve, where's the Fleshlight as a weapon? in Dead Rising 2 you could combine a fleshlight with gems to create a vagina laser blaster weapon of some kind. You could gall it the Lady WaWa Blaster. Genius, call me Capcom, I'm all over this.

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