5 Reasons Why Macho Man In WWE All Stars Will Be Awesome

We're extremely keen on WWE All Stars - a wrestling game that strips back the sim dross of WWE Smackdown vs Raw and recreates the mad fun we used to have with games like No Mercy. Our anticipation has sky rocketed after discovering that Macho Man Randy Savage, after decades in the WWE wilderness, has been announced as part of the roster. You don't give a rat's ass? Well let me tell you something Mene Gene - we have five very good reasons why you should.

5. Macho Man Randy Savage beat the crap out of Tobey Maguire All right - don't get us wrong. Tobey Maguire is all right - his cameo appearance in The Wizard is the stuff of method acting legend - but in Spiderman 3 he was partly responsible for transforming Peter Parker from a happy-go-lucky wise-cracking neighbourhood Spider-dude into a floppy-fringed hipster emo with eye-liner. Russell Brand wears eye-liner - do you want Spiderman to turn out like Russell Brand? Of course not. Someone needs to bring the pain.

And you know what? Someone did bring the pain - Macho Man Randy Savage. As Bonesaw, Savage was the first and last person to land a totally tubular Atomic Elbow, from the top rope, directly onto the windpipe of Tobey Maguire. And he totally only lost the fight because of Maguire's Spider-hax, which were clearly against rules of professional wrestling. Never forget kids - chairs, beer trucks, voodoo dust, and leprauchauns - all perfectly legitimate means of victory - but climbing onto the cage like a big girl? Totally not cool.

4. Macho Man is legitimately insane Don't believe me? Just watch the above. Macho Man Randy Savage is without doubt one of the best 'talkers' in wrestling history. If by 'talking' you mean regurgitating an incredible amount of insane psychodelic babble whilst clearly being under the influence of horse tranquilisers.

His sheer stream of consciousness insanity can only be matched by The Ultimate Warrior, and he's a Sarah Palin-esque crazy conservative now, so he totally doesn't count.

3. He's a rapper Don't get it twisted - Macho Man has mad flow. After Hulk Hogan refused to stand toe-to-toe with Savage, he did the sensible thing considering the circumstances - recorded a scathing dis' track called 'Be a Man, which included these sick burns:

Hollywood Hulkster you're at the end of your rope And I'm a kick ya in the butt and wash your mouth out with soap Cuz like Rodney Dangerfield you gets' no respect So come on Hulk let's wreck so I can put you in check

Damn Macho, go easy... brother!

2. He now looks a bit like Santa Claus This is not a joke. This is what Macho Man looks like now. He looks like a member of ZZ Top. I can't decide whether this is awesome or it makes me feel a little bit sad.

1. Macho Man needs his props This is the most important reason. Macho Man has been missing in action in Wrestling video games for far too long. For some reason WWE Head Honcho Vince McMahon hates him (some truly suspect an illicit affair with his daughter when she was too young for that sort of thing) which has resulted in a Macho-less video game wasteland. I, for one, am glad to see that drought end. Welcome back Macho Man Randy Savage, you were truly missed.

OOOOOOOOOOH YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH!


Comments

    I remember No Mercy for N64 had all the moves, walks, taunts etc for all the old stars in the create a wrestler section. I spent hours and hours faithfully recreating Macho Man and Ultimate Warrior
    Oh and Marks it goes

    OOOOOOHHHHHHHH YEEEEAAAAHHHHHHH!!!

      Now we just need Ravishing Rick Rude and my life will be complete.

      Oh and for Frank T . J . Mackey.

      Macho Man far from average, above status

    Boooone sawwwww is readyyyyyy.

    meh, was never really a fan of macho man. Always been a Fan of good ole blonde short haired "Stunning" Steve Austin. But it is indeed great to here that macho man is finally back in the fold of the wwe....now i wonder if he will finally get inducted into the hall of fame.

    I love it mostly for the theatrics and hilarity, but wrestling is one of my many, many secrets shames - minus the Macho Man, is there any reason to get a game like WWE All Stars?

      It's actually a really fun game from what I've seen so far. It has a brilliant roster, and mechanics unlike any wrestling game I've ever played.

        All the classic on the roster is great but all i really want is this

        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mvIb7khHTQc&feature=related

        this is even better

        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sadRv-xyVYk

        Edit : much better LOL (Damn your magikal editing powers)

        BTW have we broken TAY?

          Actually, i think Elly broke it.

    There is only one man more insane than Macho Man, and that is THE ULTIMATE WARRIOR. I much preferred Randy though. Poor Miss Elizabeth.

    Mark Serrels, you are quite uninformed in regards to Warrior. Yes, he is philosophically conservative. However, with 10 seconds of research you can easily see Warrior's dissappointment in the republican party, and politicians in general (ESPECIALLY George Bush and Sarah Palin).
    But you didn't do any research, which is why you report factoids on a bogus topic for other ignoramuses to drool over.

      Nah, I know all about Warrior, should have reworked the line. And I did do research - in fact I actually have masters degree based off a thesis written about professional wrestling- true story.

    Blackwater... you must be drinking Brisbane flood water... you can't be serious?

    BTW Mark, I am truly sorry that I missed this article when first posted... the internets can now be closed.

    Thank you

    this game need ultimate warrior undertaker,randy savage bret hart king kong bundy andre the giang

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