This was one of the most difficult competitions I've had to judge - mainly due to the ridiculous volume of entries, but also because of the quality. When I go through these things I usually rustle it down to a shortlist. This time the shortlist had 25 posts. Choosing the final five was very, very difficult. But anyway - down to business. The winners are...
1st Place - A DSi XL and copy of Ghost Trick
I’d come back as the Master for Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull. I would then ‘accidentally’ set myself on fire.
A noble and selfless death, for the good of man.
The Four Runners Up
If I could come back as an inanimate object, I’d come back as Nicole Kidman’s face.
A bucket. I think that as my job is to stop people from dying, when they try to kick me i’ll just move out of the way!. Problem solved.
I like being a Smart Phone. I just sit here in her handbag waiting for the chance to talk to her. Sometimes it gets dark and lonely, but I make friends with the other items in there.
Well hey there Tampons! I got an item in my calendar that says you’re going on a trip next week! I like it when the tampons go on holidays, she tends to talk to me more. Laying out all her issues. I’m a real good listener, but sometimes I like to talk.
RING RING! “Hello?” Well hey there Owner! Wanna play some Angry Birds?
I love it when she plays Angry Birds on me. Slide, Flick, Slide, Flick. It sends chills up my AmoLEDs…
When she puts me back the bag I don’t mind… I know I’ll be by her at night, waiting to wake her up when she wants me to. Sometimes I wake her up just a little too early so she’ll touch me and remind me I’m important.
I’d return to this world as John Romero’s mullet.
There were genuinely so many good entries - but I simply had to choose the ones I made me laugh the most. Congrats to all the winners, and if you've got a sec you should go and check out all the other entries in the comments section here. Winners get in touch with me at the usual address