Winners! Dead Space 2 Haiku Competition

Wow. We had over well over a hundred entries for this Haiku competition, and while I thought that the grim subject matter (the terrifying Dead Space 2) would result in less hilarious entries, turns out you guys can find the funny in anything. These were my five favourites, and each entrant wins themselves a copy of the game.

There were plenty of good entries that just weren't quite Haikus, but I though it would be unfair to those who made a real effort to get the format correct. Some were chosen because they made me laugh, some because they were clever. And the winners are...

welbot I woke up my wife when I screamed like a big girl no sex for a month

Edward OH SHIT! OH MY GOD! DIE DIE… ahhh, okay… it’s dead… OH SHIT NO IT’S NOT!

David Ferris Annhiliated. My broken limbs float within Zero Gravity.

AmbroseIV Strolling down the hall Raped by a huge tentacle It burns when I pee.

Anthony Zonaga Leon Kennedy Dismembers Los Ganados. Hey, this isn’t Spain.

If the winners could email me with their format of choice and address, that would be awesome. Thanks!

Also, there were plenty of other hilarious entries - head here to check them all out.


    Congrats to all. Welbot's is hilarious. Off to EB to pre-order now.

      Why are you preordering in the country? You know better my leige.

        It's to save Aussie jobs!!!!!!!

          Is that a serious answer?

            As an employee of EB, shut up buddy. I need dem pre-orders. butsrs it's annoying how much extra games are in aus, it would be nice if we could get some changes to our hiked up prices, so that people actually support OUR economy instead of the US and UK.



    Well done guys - that was some awesome work :)

    <3 welbot lol

    I do rather love edwards entry too, though lol

      Your Sarah Jessica Parker one was close man. It made the shortlist! The only issue is the Sarah Jessica Parker actually looks more like a horse than an actual necromorph.

        Haha that was my personal favorite of all of mine.

        Also, if you don't think she looks like a necromorph, then you haven't seen her naked and without makeup.

        She only looks like a horse in pictures and movies.

        Pretty cool to make she shortlist, anyway.

        Besides, I've probably won too much stuff in my time on this site as it is. lol

        these guys really do deserve it :D

          "Besides, I’ve probably won too much stuff in my time on this site as it is"
          ... NEVER!

          I am on a very strict gaming budget like you(actually week to week it is Zero as I get all my games from trade ins, vouchers i redeem through work or the odd poker winning).. This site provides me with hope of getting gaming goodies that i would otherwise not have... there is never enough.

          Oh, sorry, was that your attempt to comfort yourself... then in that case **gives loops a man hug with no more than three pats on the back and no stroking** better luch next time.

          “Also, if you don’t think she looks like a necromorph, then you haven’t seen her naked and without makeup.

          She only looks like a horse in pictures and movies.”

          The (rather disturbing) assumption one has to come to after reading that is that you’ve seen her naked and without makeup in real life? And are still able to tell of it? I’d have thought that’d be like somebody in one of those old H.P. Lovecraft stories catching the briefest glimpse of one of the Great Old Ones and having their sanity instantly blasted away.

            Yes, it is actually exactly like that.

            Fortunately for me i have an iron will, an indominable courage and the ability to close my eyes, block my ears and yell "NA NA NA NA NA NA" until it goes away.

            Not so fortunate for my team of intrepid explores, all of whom perished in her unholy aura. All but one who went quite mad and thought it would be a good idea to make Han shoot first...

              i lol'd. btw i really want to know wat this haiku was now lol

    Thanks so much Mr. Serrels! :D

    Thanks very much, Mark. :D

    Reading through them, I couldn't stop laughing - any number could've won (sadly not Chuloopa's late entry, but it did have me crying for at least 5 minutes) so well done to everyone else!

      would that be Mr. Serrels' feet, or SJP? lol

        I've actually had a 3rd degree burn on my ear (I know, wtf?), but Mark's feet - well, that was something else... and you just managed to top it off. :P

    I'm so jealous!
    I never win nuthin' I gots me an honourable mention once.

    Congratulations (BOOHOO)

    wow! what a nice surprise to end my first day of working for myself! Glad it was good for a giggle or two... I was almost too ashamed to post it cos it actually happened :0

    Bahahaha, those are brilliant, good work guys.


    I though my Barbara Streisand gag was a winner for sure :(

    So congrats to those who won.

    /me locks himself in room to work on Haiku skills

    I lose once again
    God damn you Mister Serrels
    God damn you to hell.

    Thankyou. Thankyou very much.

    I love these Haikus;
    I was reading through them, then -

    I forgot about this comp, and thus no hurting was received... now not winning, the hurting continues!


    I thought I was so creative incorporating the star trek guy with rubbish glasses but oh well. Deserved winners.

    Congratulations peeps!

    Well done to one and all... they make for a good little read...
    I'm not convinced that I will get DS2 I need to check out the first one in the day with the lights on...

    Love Ambrose's one. So confronting and yet amusingly inappropriate, my favourite winner out of all.

    Congratulations guys! I like Edward's one simply cause it sums up the entire experience of Dead Space, lol. I also like Anthony's - very clever, haha. I didn't think my entry would do so well after reading everyone else's haikus, haha. Nonetheless well done to the winners! :)

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