An Open Letter is a regular-ish feature where we communicate directly, straight to the heart of someone/something/anything in gaming. This week? We deliver a heartfelt eulogy to the dearly departed Guitar Hero.
Dear Guitar Hero,
Man, Guitar Hero. Where do I start – where do I begin? I’ll never forget when I first laid eyes on you. In game stores across the country, I’d walk in – just browsing, you know how it is. I’d see a pile of those giant boxes on the shelves, or a sporadic squat of instruments on the floor, I’d wonder – ‘what the hell is this thing – this Guitar Hero? What am I supposed to do with it?’ Little did I know, in that moment, that we’d eventually become inseparable, best buds. And then – eventually – lovers.
And then someone introduced us – at some party, I can’t remember. I was probably lubed up on cheap punch and tequila – but I remember you. Your buttons. My confusion. Do I push them when I strum, or can I just hold it down whenever? Why isn’t it working! Is the timing off? Are the batteries dead?
But then, somehow, we just clicked. Together we made sense. We moved in together – perhaps we moved a little too fast, but we were crazy. We were in love. Every waking moment was spent caressing one another, pushing each other’s buttons. Through the years we added more to our brood – Guitar Hero: Metallica, Band Hero, DJ Hero came late but we loved him anyway, that little scamp!
And the parties – oh the parties. We’d invite everyone over and entertain – cook up a storm, get everyone liquored up and just play. Just get everyone together and make beautiful, sweet music together.
I loved you – I always loved you. Sure there were others – I admit that. Cheap flings in the back rooms of stranger’s abodes – dalliances I can barely remember but would rather forget. But you, Guitar Hero you. You were always on my mind. Even in the darkest hours. Even at the end.
And now, Guitar Hero – as I stand here, delivering this eulogy – I choose to remember the good times. I’ll remember the first time I finished Hotel California on Expert, I’ll remember getting Born to Run for free! I’ll remember that time we fell about laughing as I tried to complete Through the Fire and the Flames – remember that? Oh, how we giggled. I wish I could go back to those days. I wish…
But most of all I’ll remember your touch, the feel of your buttons against my fingertips – the callouses that developed on my strum finger. Proof that you existed, that you lived – that at one point in my life we were together and hopelessly in love.
I’ll miss you Guitar Hero. We all will. And I’ll never forget you.
[sob]
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