Reader Review: Bulletstorm

Reader Review: Bulletstorm

It took me a while to get round to Bulletstorm, but I did finally manage to get a few hours in and I’m sort of enjoying how blatantly stupid it all is. And BlueMaxima, who has written this reader review, seems to feel the same way.

Thanks to Madman – the best written Reader Review receives a selection of the latest DVDs and Blu-rays from their selection.

Take it away BlueMaxima

Bulletstorm Can a game be too immature? I was left asking this question after my playthrough of Bulletstorm by People Can Fly and Epic Games. The game is filled with cursing, genital jokes, and all sorts of violent, bloody kills that can be achieved. At the point I asked myself that question, I realized I didn’t care, because I was having too much fun.

Loved Kill With Skill: The game’s main attraction is the ‘skill kills’, special types of kills that are performed in different ways with different weapons (for example, kicking someone off an edge or shooting them in the sack). There are over 150 of these in the game, and they are an absolute awesome fun time to find, especially when you get the better weapons, like the giant hammer or the suicide-vest-shooting-gun. Yes, you can shoot someone with a gun that makes them blow themselves up. With the ability to slide, whip and kick the crap out of everything on top; you have a lot of ways to kill.

A Joke About A Man Named Dick: This game could not be more immature if it was written by a bunch of 12-year olds. There’s explosions. There’s gore. There’s intoxication. There’s plenty of jokes about manhood piled on top of it all. And yet it’s all such a relaxing break from the comparable “serious” shooters of today like CoD or Halo – breaking the mold of the FPS is surprisingly fresh.

Skyboxes: Each and every level has an absolutely fantastic horizon. You’ll spend five minutes in each chapter just looking at the faraway sights.

Hated Shrunken Balls: Just as the immaturity is sometimes fun, at other times it faceplants the ground so hard it leaves a noticeable indent. Some of the jokes simply aren’t funny enough to laugh at, or extreme enough to be worth the odd awkward laugh.

Only 2 Balls: Echoes mode is basically re-running parts of the campaign for high-scores and the most varied skill kills. Want more? Sorry, the main campaign and Echoes is all you’re getting in terms of single-player game.

Midget Jokes: Bulletstorm is short. Really short. The campaign only lasts for a few hours, and Echoes mode only a few hours more. Sure, there’s the online multiplayer, but killing with skill isn’t really fun when you’ve got intelligent opponents to fight – doesn’t give you much time to look for the skill kills.

While Bulletstorm did make me cringe and lose a few brain cells to awful jokes, the good jokes and the ability to kill an enemy nearly any way I wanted to made this a particularly fun game to play through, even though it only lasted a few hours. If you have the extra money, feel free to pick up Bulletstorm, but casual players may want a rental or a price drop to come by first.


  • I’ve just started, up to chapter 2, act 1. I’m bored already. The story also seems kinda stupid. All the ads and previews leave me to believe that this game was fun, stupid, no real story. I would be fine with that, if that was the case. For some reason, the story seems like its serious and simultaneously stupid. If they’re trying to make me feel emotion/pity for Grayson and Ishi, they’re failing. But they’re also failing at making it fun (so far).

    I just can’t really be bothered playing this anymore. Ah well. Back into my gaming rut I return.

    • I followed the story just to understand why I’m going from A to B. In a game like this, who follows story? 😛

      • Yeah, see, as I said. I didn’t expect any story whatsoever from this. But they’ve put it in and now Ishi is just a whiny twat complaining about what a d**k Grayson is, Grayson flits between concern for Ishi, d**k jokes, hating on Serrano and being a tosser. Iy’s jarring and somewhat annoying. If the entire time, grayson was a tosser, I’d be okay with that.

        Don’t worry, I’m not attacking your review (which is all good), I just think, for me, this game is stupid.

  • Anybody who was around back when I did like 7 reader reviews in one month might recognize my style. 😛

  • Loved this game.
    The action was awesome and it was just stupid fun.

    You need to go into this game like you would a big action movie. Switch off your brain and have some fun.

    As for the multiplayer, i think its awesome fun. Granted the PS3 version (the one i have) is having alot of issues but once you get into a game its great pulling enemies away from you team and kicking them into big ass fans 😀

    All in all a highlight of my year, even just because it doesnt try to be all serious and meaningful.

    “Ill kill your dick” was the best line in the game though. LOLZ

  • I found it horribly boring and went back to Black Ops and Monday Night Combat.

    Glad I imported and it only cost me $45.

  • A game entirely inspired by the penis? Well, to be fair, Call of Duty is full of c*nts . . . i can only assume this is the appropriate forum to share my man from Nantucket limerick??

  • I played through Bulletstorm on a friend’s Xbox and enjoyed it immensely despite some minor frustrations like no apparent yo-yo type score modifier for repeatedly zipping in and kicking out an enemy.. and getting barricaded in corners by mini-bosses because you can’t jump over a rock the size of your shoe.. and only being able to equip two secondary weapons at once (but the switching system itself I thought was very good, just not fully utilised)

    I would have liked to see a proper competitive multiplayer though – if they had just dropped the bullet-time combos for it, the weapons could have made for a great DM or CTF (except maybe the sniper rifle’s primary fire), or even a UT2k3-style Bombing Run

  • I totally LOVE this game

    One of the most enjoyable games ive played in a while =]

    the dialog is a total pisser

    “you look like a dammn goof when you open doors”

    “I got the door open…”

    “yeah well you got the door open looking like a damn good”

    Totally over the top fun

    totally worth every penny!

  • I enjoyed the demo a lot more than the story version.

    Haven’t checked out Echoes yet, but that seems like the more enjoyable part of the game.

  • Played over the weekend. Was semi buggy and glitchy but still enjoyable. Crashed just before the end and corrupted its save file. Uninstalled!

  • Three quick things i noticed:

    1. Giant hammer?
    2. By suicide gun do you mean Flail? Coz thats not what I would call an accurate description. See Giant Hammer.
    3. Intelligent enemies online? They are the same enemies :S I see not how this prevents skillshots.

    Other than that you were fairly spot on, although playing this game on hard on the first play through took me some 10 hours or so. I felt it was worth my money.

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