Watch Dragon Age II's Awful, Terrible Sex Scenes

Video games can never do a decent sex scene. Know why? It's all about the mouth. In the movies, people kiss. In video games - like Dragon Age II - it's like two mailboxes clanging against each other.

Sure, there's narrative satisfaction to be gained from seeing your character and another knock boots, but that sex just looks awkward.

And what is it with BioWare games and all this chit-chat? All this formality? Sex isn't always a set piece. It often just happens, and as such, it'd be great to see a little change in Mass Effect 3. Drop all this ceremony. Maybe Shepard can just walk into a bar, slam down ten drinks and wake up next to a Krogan. Bam. Genophage averted.

Needlesss to say, these three clips contain spoilers. Spoilers and steamy beard-on-beard kissing.

[via Destructoid]


    "slam down ten drinks and wake up next to a Krogan. Bam. Genophage averted."

    That is something I would love to see.

      "I'm Commander Shepherd and this is my favorite lay in the galaxy!"

        if they're going to make it mass effect, there had better be plenty of reporters to punch.

    Thats why you shouldn't kiss on the mouth.

    Mmmm, Anders. Manders?

    That one clip has killed any interest i have in that game...

    I maintain the only good sex scenes they've done were ME1's. Subtle. Unlike a boot to the face.

    Well the game IS made by nerds.

    It's not so much the awkward love making so much as the awful dialogue and weak voice acting that stands out about that particular scene. I don't understand how there can be such a vast, vast discrepancy between the quality between different Bioware games.

    Am I the only one who thinks even Japanese visual novels have more meaningful ero scenes?

    Hightown? don't you mean downtown everyone knows about it just listen to these.

    Peaches - Down town

    Machine Gun Fellatio - Pussy Town

    Wait for delicious to DA mods :3

    Rogues do it with their clothes on.

    Rogues do it from behind actually..

    they talk like robot. For sex scenes go for Heavy Rain, they are french kissing!

Join the discussion!

Trending Stories Right Now