Alright - Duke's Gone!

Wow! Sorry about that guys. I don't know what happened. One second I was typing up some of my morning posts, next I was bound and gagged and locked up in the cupboard next to Seamus Byrne's wigs covered in lipstick for some reason.

Thankfully, Duke is now gone. The Popsugar girls managed to distract him, and he's currently out on the town slamming back the booze with the team. I don't think he'll be coming back anytime soon.

Good job Seamus went into the cupboard for a quick wig change, or I might have been in there for the whole weekend...


    He might be gone, but all of Kotaku's female readers are now pregnant.

      Also, I knew you'd be bound and gagged ;-)

        Err... I assume/hope you're talking about Mark there... :P

      I'm extremely thankful I only checked Kotaku today just as The Duke was leaving...any child of his would probably kick its way out of the womb. Ouch.

    I dont believe a word of this. There would be no room in the cupboard for you with all them wigs.

    Awwww that means he probably didn't see my tribute :(


    Also, I want to go out with the pop-sugar girls!!

    Duke, always hogs all of the action... all i get left with it Seamus' soiled wigs!

    Lipstick and wigs?
    Standard Friday night then?

    Way to ruin everyone's fun Cody.

    You were bound and gagged and wearing lipstick?

    I know we all like Duke and everything, but I didn't think it was that much.

      haha that's how it read to me too!

      however, i'm giving Mark a little slack as i'm quite positive that all those wigs would smell strongly of old spice, so his head has GOT TO be spinning quite intensely!

    Seamus's wigs were covered in lipstick!!! The plot thickens.....

    Whole thing made me cringe with embarrassment for the entire medium of gaming to be honest.

    • Damn straight. All things gaming should be serious and meaningful. Fun has no place in games or anything to do with games. Nothing made me rage more than when I started enjoying playing duke.

        No rage here, just cringe. If an outdated and horribly clichéd 90s stereotype masquerading as 'parody' floats your boat then by all means, go all out and have fun with it. I don't have a problem with anyone enjoying a decent video game no matter what the theme is. That aside, I'm of the opinion that having "Duke" take over Kotaku was an incredibly lame marketing gimmick / exercise in product placement and seemed to bring out the pre-pubescent child in grown men all over this site today. If you don't agree that's fine by me.

          So... you think Duke Nukem is *not* a parody, then?

            Parody? No.

            Equal parts rip-off of Bruce Campbell in Evil Dead/s and Roddy Piper in They Live? Absolutely.

            Thought the same back in '96 with 3D. Loved the game, had the action figures...and know he's a rip-off.

              hahaha, well I guess the way I define 'parody' places it firmly within the 'Rip-Off' category from the get-go.

              So to me anything that is a parody is by its nature a rip-off.

              The only thing that annoys me is everyone who has never seen Evil Dead and/or They Live and then quote all the lines as if it was Duke Nukem who originated them... but that's not Duke/3D Realms' fault.

    Darn he's gone? and I had so many questions left unanswered for a whole decade of no shrink/freeze/enlarge gun gaming. It's been a long dry spell!

    Thank goodness for that! Now that his remarkably average game has been released, he can slowly fade into the background, only to be brought back for a gritty reboot in four or five years time.

    That was fun. Do it again sometime, Kotaku.

    Can't think of another character it'd suit, though.

    Master Chief? Mario? Gordon Freeman? Yep, Freeman! The silence would be deafening.

    Hope he didnt go because of a few cry babies and internet trolls. I thought duke was tougher than that!


    How much did Randy pay you for this guys?


    When's the 10/10 review coming out?

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