Tell Us Dammit

Dammit, we want you to tell us stuff – and this is a weird one - have you ever been punched in the face? Have you ever punched someone in the face? I saw this extensive guide on Lifehacker on how to throw the perfect punch, and it got me wondering about when the last time I actually had to punch someone.

I have been punched in the face more than a few times. One moment in particular - in Glasgow of course - I was at an ATM and I felt a fist strike the back of my head. I turned around and there was a group of 18 year olds, some carrying big sticks, all looking a bit menacing.

As soon as I made eye contact with the kid who punched me he realised something.

"Oh, shit! Sorry man, I thought you were someone else," he said.

I turned to my left and saw a guy with the exact same colours I was wearing, sprinting down the road.

Ah... Glasgow.

So yeah, the last time I was punched it was by mistake.

What about you guys? When was the last time you had to throw a punch, and when was the last time you were punched?


    When I was but a mere teen in high school, I went over to a girl's house after school one day. It was completely platonic but she had a boyfriend (who was probably five or six years older) and he didn't appreciate me playing Spyro with her.

    That stung.

    More recently, probably only two or three years ago, I used to work out with a friend of mine. He used to box and decided that it would be a good idea if we spared. Not only is he a few inches taller than me, so he has a reach advantage, he was also about 15kg heavier than me and knew what he was doing.

    I was both exhausted and disorientated within minutes.

    We did this a few times over the next few weeks with similar results. Although I did manage to give another friend a bloody nose when we tried sparing (this friend was same height/weight as me so it was a bit fairer).

    I was out clubbing in the valley in Brisbane. These guys pushed in front of my friend who was lining up for a drink, my friend said something to the effect of "you can't push in", one guy turned round and head butted him, striking him on the left eye. My mate fell over, I just turned threw a punch at this guy. I'm no fighter, but I am 6ft 3 and 90kg. I have thrown punches before with no effect at all really, but this one knocked the guy out cold. To the point where his mates dispersed as well.

    At first it's liberating when you realised you have fended off some thugs. But then regret and disbelief sets in when you realise how out of control the situation is and how one punch could potentially put you in prison.

    The police came, the bouncers saw the headbutt so luckily nothing eventuated. The guy I punched was ok too.

    I hate thugs when I'm out, pigs that disrespect women too, but fighting really should be a last resort, because the consquences of the loss of control can be quite dire.

    Well I've never been in a fight that didn't involve my brother. So he's hit me in the face. Friends have drunkenly punched me in the face which hurts, but it's easy to get em back when they can't walk straight.

    My face is too beautiful to punch.

    Not so much a punch in the face, as a punch right where it hurts. My manhood. My wife (littleJJ) gave me the ultimate knockout blow the other night by telling me she wants to get divorced :( I've been punched in the face a couple of times in my life, but it never hurt that much.


      Wait, really?

        yes really :(

          Awww man I am sorry to hear that.
          For the nothing it is worth from a random on the internet if you want to chat or play some games or something I'll be there.

      Sorry to hear about that. Hope you're doing well.

      :( Sorry welbot. Hope you ok mate.

      Dude, that really sucks :(. Like Jo's offer, if you feel like talking or playing multiplayer, I'll be here.

      I've been punched in the manhood. Literally. In the balls. Bam.

      It's like getting his on the head. I got temporary amnesia.

      For a good 30 seconds I clean forgot how to breathe.

      True story.

      Sorry to hear about your own blow. Hope you guys can work it out.

      So sorry to hear that.

      I had a dream that my gf broke up with me and I was CRUSHED...I can't even imagine what that'd feel like in real life :(

      F*CK OFF! Jeezuz, sorry, man.

      Keep your chin up mate :)

      *hugs* You know I'm always here for you mate. Nothing hurts like a punch like this. :-(

      That sucks dude, just like you supported me last week, I'm here to support you. Hope everything's OK. I'm here for you dude.

      Thanks for the kind words. I've been trying to keep a clear head for the past few days, but I dunno where I'm at now to be honest. As long as I can keep the suicidal thoughts out of my head, I'm sure i'll pull through eventually. Just so hard when everything that is and has been my life for 6 years is just torn down like that. Almost feels as though I am dead inside and I'm just wandering around in limbo atm. Everyday I get out of bed will be one more step towards something brighter hopefully

        I want to say that everything will be fine, etc, but in the face of something like this the platitudes feel especially shallow.
        What I can say, though, is that we're here if you need us.
        Hang in there, buddy.

          thanks man. I really appreciate it. I'm really at a point now where I guess I'm trying to re-evaluate my life and figure out if I should really cahange things and go crazy and move to Japan or something.

    I ended up in the emergency ward October last year.
    Was leaving a local McDonalds with a friend when a group of around 10 douchebags started hassling my friend, based purely on the fact that he was asian (Maybe Rocketman was one of them...).
    He got into a fight, so I tried to pull him out and got absolutely annihilated. Broken nose, cracked rib,stiches in my face. A bit messy.
    My mate came out of it with just a black eye and swollen jaw (The fool went inside and left me there getting the crap kicked out of me).
    None of them got caught (Even though there were some cops just around the corner, and the whole thing was on CCTV). For some stupid reason reason my friend decided not to pursue the case and never even made a statement.
    I still haven't forgiven him.

    (Can't confirm if that was also the last time I threw a punch. Blacked out so can't remember)

    I know I punched a guy who stole my wallet when I was living in London. The guy turned out to be Australian. Moron.

    One time in Glasgow I was with my bunch of 18 year old friends after picking up some sticks we found and were returning to the stick store, when I thought I saw Simon Pegg at an ATM.

    I went to tap him on the shoulder to ask for an autograph but due to a previous football injury I had a nervous twitch and accidentally struck him in the back of the head!

    The man (who was not Simon Pegg) swivelled around making eye contact with the deathiest death stare I have ever seen, enough to freeze my soul to the bottom of it's core. In an attempt to prevent myself from being destroyed on the spot, I mumbled a quick “Oh, shit! Sorry man, I thought you were someone else,” and made my quick escape.

    Oh and a less bullshit story is getting punched in the face in primary school and a few fist fights with my brother.

      This is definitely up there with the greatest posts of all time.

      I'm absolutely dying!

    Once upon a time I acquired what I thought was a new boyfriend. Then I got surprised in the bathroom of a club by a skanky girl with a killer punch. Turns out I was the other woman. So I left the bathroom and returned the punch to the guy it belonged to. Then I collapsed and was taken to a friends place to be nursed with a packet of frozen peas.

    This is my only experience with punching and I do not wish to have anymore.

    There I was, a 12 year old, sitting on the swings in an English playground, the cold, grey weather setting the scene for what was about to come. CHAV's.

    Apparently I looked at one of them kinda funny. The skin-headed, tracksuit-wearer felt the need to walk around the swing a few times, stop, look me up and down, utter 'what you given us tha stares for?', and then punch me in the mouth.

    Strangely, it didn't really hurt as much as I would have thought. I didn't fight back, but to my credit, I stared him down without saying anything, which freaked him out. In my mind I was kinda like Clint Eastwood, sizing my opponent up and deciding he wasn't worth the bullet. In reality I was probably a 12 year old with watery eyes that the CHAV took pity on. Ah, precious childhood memories.

    lol amusing story.

    I haven't ever been punched (thankfully), but I've gotten plenty of elbows to the face while playing basketball. Just took a forearm to the face on Monday actually, still hurts.

    Mostly fighting with my brother when I was younger, but I've never thrown a serious punch, they were all pulled.
    I can generally talk my way out of a situation and I'm not sure I'd even get angry enough to really throw a punch.

    I can cheer when I see a dude get knocked out in MMA but it makes me sick to see it in real life.

    Never been hit.
    Lover not a fighter ;)

      Im the same way.. its weird how that works out.. I guess its because the guys in the ring are fighting for a reason and the guys in the street are just stupid..

    I had a bit of an out of control temper as a young'un and came to blows on several occasions.

    I also did a fair bit of karate and aikido so there was a bit of punching (and kicking) going on in sparring matches.

    All in all, probably been punched in the face a few times. Also punched back.

    One of the last fights I got in to was also in the Glasgow area. Paisley to be exact. Kappa wearing ned (bogan) tried to mug me.

    Thankfully the guy was clumsy. Managed to punch him in the throat and end it quickly.

    Fun times.

    P.S. I'm pretty sure he survived. I didn't hang arround as his mates were running up the hill behind us.

      "I had a bit of an out of control temper as a young'un"
      Translation: "I was Scottish when I was young"

        You know what's odd?

        I was born with ginger hair and was a monster.

        Over the years my hair got darker and I calmed down.


        When I was 5 a neighbour had to drag me off another kid to stop me smashing his head off the kerb. To be fair, he did threaten to do it to my sister.

    Back in high school I backhanded a person who kept calling me a bullshit artist.

    Late high school years.

    Another student decides to throw a punch at me shortly after we got off the bus. I try to dodge and he skims my forehead with just a little scratch (I'm not sure what did this, I'm thinking his thumb nail). Then I threw a punch back and got him just below the nose.

    He crouches over so I can't hit him again and stubbles a few steps back, stands up and his lip is bleeding. Spits blood at me and walks away. I let him, I had another bus to catch.

    He crouches over so I can't hit him again and stubles a few steps back, stands up and his lip is bleeding. Spits blood at me and walks away. I let him, I had another bus to catch.

    Moral of the story, don't assume that just because someone prefers to avoid fights that they won't if you force one on them.

    Also spitting is disgusting even when it's not full of blood.

    I've been kicked, punched, bitten, strangled, thrown, tackled, slapped, scratched(that was fun though), yelled at, abused, had things thrown at me...prolly more.

    Im a smartarse, people want to hit me all the time.

      Yeah but you paid for it ;)
      Kinda different.

    Mark, your story reminded me of this one.

    My mate was in Glasgow making a call from a payphone (In the days when mobile phones were rarer). A small girl approached the phone box. A little angel, eyes full of innocent curiosity.

    "Oi!" she called out. "Mistur!"
    My friend ignored her cry for attention as he was currently engaged in another conversation. The little ragamuffin then opened the door to the phonebox and brandished a knife. "Gie us a' yur muny!" she cried out. My friend was alarmed. Never before, when preparing himself for events which may transpire and ways to deal with said events, had he ever imagined this one. He glanced furtively around. Was this girl alone or was she some marionette of some unseen puppeteer, lurking in the background. No one. He glanced back to the miniature mugger, maliciously intent on taking his meagre earnings. His foot was swift, dislodging her from the doorway.

    "F#^k off." he directed, before returning to his call. the girl stood up and, tears burning her cheeks, a soft whimpering escaping as her lip quivered and then, at last, off she did f#^k.

    True story.

    Only from my bro when I was about 10. Didn't much care for it, so I put his head through a window and let bygones be bygones.

    I coped one in the nose at a party quite a few years back now. He obviously took offense to something I said, ever the loud joker of a drunk that I am. It was a short affair, he got me while I was sitting down, and there wasn't much I could do while spewing blood from my face. I regret nothing.

    This is what happens when kids are allowed to play to much GTA. Jokes.

    I was punched in the chest once at the local pool by a bully when I was a teenager, other than that no - I've never been punched in the face (touch wood) and I've never had to throw a punch (other than in Judo classes)

    A couple of years ago I was out at a club drinking with a friend and her boyfriend. When her boyfriend went to get drinks, some big sleazy guy (who was 3 times my size!) started hitting on & harrassing her.
    I told the guy that she's here with her partner, he instantly turned towards me & headbutted me in the eye. When that didnt knock me down he layed another one in. He was thrown out instantly & my eye became swollen & black.
    Karma must have been on my side that night, because even with a deformed eye I somehow got lucky that night with a random! (or she just felt sorry for me lol) either way it was a nite I wont soon forget!

    Yeah was at some random party for me. Barely remember anything, other then some fellas starting on my mate, because he was apparently looking at one of their girls the wrong way. So one of them just came over and punched my mate straight in the face while he was sitting down having a beer. I was right next to him, so I just turned around and gave the dude a hook to the guts. Totally winded him, and he pretty much pissed off after a bit of pushing and shoving.

    Although I heard the next morning that him and some of his mates were waiting out the front to jump us as we left... not knowing we were crashing at the house that night lol

    I've never initiated a fight in my life - but damn have i ever been in a lot..

    I was pretty much the target of bullies throughout primary school and high school. Being short and somewhat loud seems to paint a rather large target on your head.

    So yeah, i have been punched in the head quite a few times, but also punched a lot of heads myself.

    See when i got to high school i couldn't take it any more, and as soon as someone physically hurt me i would snap and go into a sort of black rage. You know the sort - the ones where you feel no pain.

    One day after school 3 asshats decided to team up on me - first one thought it would be even funnier if he kicked me in the balls first - which he did... i lost it and by the end had knocked all three to the ground...
    boy was i sore a few minutes later when i had calmed down, though.

    What really got to me, was that more than once i would end up getting susspended when the bullies got off scot-free, as i hurt them more than they hurt me, so they just assumed i caused the fight...

    Get stuffed.. i mean honestly, who starts a fight with 3-1 odds against them... *sigh*

    I hated school so, so much...

    Only time out of school that i had been punched was the day my grandpa died and my 2 younger cousins and i went for a walk to clear our heads - we ended up in the city, walking along the yarra outside crown, when a group of over a dozen guido's, all easily older and much larger than us, cornered us and demanded my wallet and phone.
    I said "are you joking?"
    Then *bam*..
    I didn't even feel the punch but all i knew is my jaw hurt like hell.. all those guys were ready to go and i sort of rolled with the punch andstepped to my side and pushed my cousins in the oposite direction.. we just kept walking and the guys didn't pursue... must have seen a security guard or something.. i don't really know..

    all i know is i still have the plate in my jaw...

      I got kicked in the balls so hard in third grade that it winded me.

      I kept telling the teacher that I was kickied in the NUTS and all he kept hearing was in the GUTS.

      I know exactly how you feel dude, happened almost exactly the same way for me during school. The kids always get away with it and you're the one that gets in trouble.

    I was punched in the face most recently in around 2005, on my way to a party at a university friend's place with my then-girlfriend.

    The trains were out so there were buses replacing trains. Some kids had wanted to jump off the bus at a non-stop (traffic lights) and the driver refused. As he began to drive away from the traffic lights, the kids triggered the emergency release for the door and jumped out as the bus was moving. The driver slammed on the brakes.

    One agressive (and fat) guy stood up and started abusing the driver for endangering the kids (I don't know if he was being abusive because he thought the driver opened the doors on the moving bus, of because he slammed the brakes on... I don't know). The yelling escalated and then he took a swing at the driver.

    When we got to our stop (event free) the aggro (and fat) guy started yelling at the marshalls, saying the driver should reported for endangering people.

    I was stuck behind this guy, who had decided to make his pitch while still standing on the bottom step of the bus door and was therefore completely blocknig the exit.

    So I called out "someone should report YOU for taking a swing at the driver while the bus was moving", then pushed him aside to leave, having made my point.

    He followed me, calling out vaguely threatening remarks over the heaving and puffing, struggling to talk and walk at the same time.

    "Oh yeah?!" he called, adding "you wanna see a... you wanna... see me take... take a swing?"

    He belted me across the back of the head as I walked away, unfortunately there were no nearby puddles of water to ripple and alert me to his presence like the approaching T-rex in Jurassic Park.

    His fist connecting with my head did not hurt, possibly due to the thick padding on his (fat) knuckles that gave the overall impression of a natural boxing glove. U turned to face him and put down the box of canned drink I was carrying, losing my glasses in the process as he connected with my face, they went flying off into the night (thankfully retrieved by my girlfriend, who was otherwise busy being very angry at me).

    At this point I raised my hands, ready to return fire. As I scanned my target with blurred vision, trying to find the weak points in the fleshy mass surrounding his beady, piglike eyes, he suddenly retreated! At first I thought I had won by default, but it turned out that two other men had come to my rescue, dragging him away and trying to convince him I was not the enemy - that I am not responsible for poor bus service, and that no one needed to get hurt over a few words.

    As I felt responsible (and ashamed of myself) I wanted to stick around, but a third accomplice to the two engaged on my behalf waved me away and said "just go, mate, we got this".

    I was once kicked in the face during a tae kwon do lesson.
    Pro: I was wearing a mask.
    Con: I was wearing glasses inside the mask, which broke, resulting in my cutting my eyebrow.
    Pro: Everyone's reaction as I sat up, pulled my helmet off, and blood cascaded down the right side of my face.
    Pro/Con: My friend who helped me got more of my blood on his uniform than I got on my own. He was pretty cool with it, because he was kind of weird and I guess at least now he could tell people he had blood on his tae kwon do uniform.

    Road rage incident for me.

    Got cut off by a P plater flying out of a side street (turning left) onto the main road I was travelling down on my motorbike. I had to slam on the brakes, locked the tyres and almost ran up the back of the guy. I gave him some horn and the next thing I know he's giving me the finger out of his sunroof. All his friends turn around and laugh at me.

    So at the next set of lights, I pulled up next to him, he was giving me lip out the window. So I put my bike up on the stand, got off and gave him a quick bop on the face with my re-enforced gloves. I'm not proud of it, but it felt good, he almost killed me.

      You. Are. AWESOME!!
      sweet johnny;)

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