Tell Us Dammit

Tell Us Dammit

Tell Us DammitDammit, we want you to tell us stuff – and this is a weird one – have you ever been punched in the face? Have you ever punched someone in the face? I saw this extensive guide on Lifehacker on how to throw the perfect punch, and it got me wondering about when the last time I actually had to punch someone.

I have been punched in the face more than a few times. One moment in particular – in Glasgow of course – I was at an ATM and I felt a fist strike the back of my head. I turned around and there was a group of 18 year olds, some carrying big sticks, all looking a bit menacing.

As soon as I made eye contact with the kid who punched me he realised something.

“Oh, shit! Sorry man, I thought you were someone else,” he said.

I turned to my left and saw a guy with the exact same colours I was wearing, sprinting down the road.

Ah… Glasgow.

So yeah, the last time I was punched it was by mistake.

What about you guys? When was the last time you had to throw a punch, and when was the last time you were punched?


  • When I was but a mere teen in high school, I went over to a girl’s house after school one day. It was completely platonic but she had a boyfriend (who was probably five or six years older) and he didn’t appreciate me playing Spyro with her.

    That stung.

    More recently, probably only two or three years ago, I used to work out with a friend of mine. He used to box and decided that it would be a good idea if we spared. Not only is he a few inches taller than me, so he has a reach advantage, he was also about 15kg heavier than me and knew what he was doing.

    I was both exhausted and disorientated within minutes.

    We did this a few times over the next few weeks with similar results. Although I did manage to give another friend a bloody nose when we tried sparing (this friend was same height/weight as me so it was a bit fairer).

  • I was out clubbing in the valley in Brisbane. These guys pushed in front of my friend who was lining up for a drink, my friend said something to the effect of “you can’t push in”, one guy turned round and head butted him, striking him on the left eye. My mate fell over, I just turned threw a punch at this guy. I’m no fighter, but I am 6ft 3 and 90kg. I have thrown punches before with no effect at all really, but this one knocked the guy out cold. To the point where his mates dispersed as well.

    At first it’s liberating when you realised you have fended off some thugs. But then regret and disbelief sets in when you realise how out of control the situation is and how one punch could potentially put you in prison.

    The police came, the bouncers saw the headbutt so luckily nothing eventuated. The guy I punched was ok too.

    I hate thugs when I’m out, pigs that disrespect women too, but fighting really should be a last resort, because the consquences of the loss of control can be quite dire.

  • Well I’ve never been in a fight that didn’t involve my brother. So he’s hit me in the face. Friends have drunkenly punched me in the face which hurts, but it’s easy to get em back when they can’t walk straight.

  • Not so much a punch in the face, as a punch right where it hurts. My manhood. My wife (littleJJ) gave me the ultimate knockout blow the other night by telling me she wants to get divorced 🙁 I’ve been punched in the face a couple of times in my life, but it never hurt that much.

  • I ended up in the emergency ward October last year.
    Was leaving a local McDonalds with a friend when a group of around 10 douchebags started hassling my friend, based purely on the fact that he was asian (Maybe Rocketman was one of them…).
    He got into a fight, so I tried to pull him out and got absolutely annihilated. Broken nose, cracked rib,stiches in my face. A bit messy.
    My mate came out of it with just a black eye and swollen jaw (The fool went inside and left me there getting the crap kicked out of me).
    None of them got caught (Even though there were some cops just around the corner, and the whole thing was on CCTV). For some stupid reason reason my friend decided not to pursue the case and never even made a statement.
    I still haven’t forgiven him.

    (Can’t confirm if that was also the last time I threw a punch. Blacked out so can’t remember)

    I know I punched a guy who stole my wallet when I was living in London. The guy turned out to be Australian. Moron.

  • One time in Glasgow I was with my bunch of 18 year old friends after picking up some sticks we found and were returning to the stick store, when I thought I saw Simon Pegg at an ATM.

    I went to tap him on the shoulder to ask for an autograph but due to a previous football injury I had a nervous twitch and accidentally struck him in the back of the head!

    The man (who was not Simon Pegg) swivelled around making eye contact with the deathiest death stare I have ever seen, enough to freeze my soul to the bottom of it’s core. In an attempt to prevent myself from being destroyed on the spot, I mumbled a quick “Oh, shit! Sorry man, I thought you were someone else,” and made my quick escape.

    Oh and a less bullshit story is getting punched in the face in primary school and a few fist fights with my brother.

  • Once upon a time I acquired what I thought was a new boyfriend. Then I got surprised in the bathroom of a club by a skanky girl with a killer punch. Turns out I was the other woman. So I left the bathroom and returned the punch to the guy it belonged to. Then I collapsed and was taken to a friends place to be nursed with a packet of frozen peas.

    This is my only experience with punching and I do not wish to have anymore.

  • There I was, a 12 year old, sitting on the swings in an English playground, the cold, grey weather setting the scene for what was about to come. CHAV’s.

    Apparently I looked at one of them kinda funny. The skin-headed, tracksuit-wearer felt the need to walk around the swing a few times, stop, look me up and down, utter ‘what you given us tha stares for?’, and then punch me in the mouth.

    Strangely, it didn’t really hurt as much as I would have thought. I didn’t fight back, but to my credit, I stared him down without saying anything, which freaked him out. In my mind I was kinda like Clint Eastwood, sizing my opponent up and deciding he wasn’t worth the bullet. In reality I was probably a 12 year old with watery eyes that the CHAV took pity on. Ah, precious childhood memories.

  • lol amusing story.

    I haven’t ever been punched (thankfully), but I’ve gotten plenty of elbows to the face while playing basketball. Just took a forearm to the face on Monday actually, still hurts.

  • Mostly fighting with my brother when I was younger, but I’ve never thrown a serious punch, they were all pulled.
    I can generally talk my way out of a situation and I’m not sure I’d even get angry enough to really throw a punch.

    • Im the same way.. its weird how that works out.. I guess its because the guys in the ring are fighting for a reason and the guys in the street are just stupid..

  • I had a bit of an out of control temper as a young’un and came to blows on several occasions.

    I also did a fair bit of karate and aikido so there was a bit of punching (and kicking) going on in sparring matches.

    All in all, probably been punched in the face a few times. Also punched back.

    One of the last fights I got in to was also in the Glasgow area. Paisley to be exact. Kappa wearing ned (bogan) tried to mug me.

    Thankfully the guy was clumsy. Managed to punch him in the throat and end it quickly.

    Fun times.

    P.S. I’m pretty sure he survived. I didn’t hang arround as his mates were running up the hill behind us.

    • “I had a bit of an out of control temper as a young’un”
      Translation: “I was Scottish when I was young”

      • You know what’s odd?

        I was born with ginger hair and was a monster.

        Over the years my hair got darker and I calmed down.


        When I was 5 a neighbour had to drag me off another kid to stop me smashing his head off the kerb. To be fair, he did threaten to do it to my sister.

  • Late high school years.

    Another student decides to throw a punch at me shortly after we got off the bus. I try to dodge and he skims my forehead with just a little scratch (I’m not sure what did this, I’m thinking his thumb nail). Then I threw a punch back and got him just below the nose.

    He crouches over so I can’t hit him again and stubbles a few steps back, stands up and his lip is bleeding. Spits blood at me and walks away. I let him, I had another bus to catch.

    He crouches over so I can’t hit him again and stubles a few steps back, stands up and his lip is bleeding. Spits blood at me and walks away. I let him, I had another bus to catch.

    Moral of the story, don’t assume that just because someone prefers to avoid fights that they won’t if you force one on them.

    Also spitting is disgusting even when it’s not full of blood.

  • I’ve been kicked, punched, bitten, strangled, thrown, tackled, slapped, scratched(that was fun though), yelled at, abused, had things thrown at me…prolly more.

    Im a smartarse, people want to hit me all the time.

  • Mark, your story reminded me of this one.

    My mate was in Glasgow making a call from a payphone (In the days when mobile phones were rarer). A small girl approached the phone box. A little angel, eyes full of innocent curiosity.

    “Oi!” she called out. “Mistur!”
    My friend ignored her cry for attention as he was currently engaged in another conversation. The little ragamuffin then opened the door to the phonebox and brandished a knife. “Gie us a’ yur muny!” she cried out. My friend was alarmed. Never before, when preparing himself for events which may transpire and ways to deal with said events, had he ever imagined this one. He glanced furtively around. Was this girl alone or was she some marionette of some unseen puppeteer, lurking in the background. No one. He glanced back to the miniature mugger, maliciously intent on taking his meagre earnings. His foot was swift, dislodging her from the doorway.

    “F#^k off.” he directed, before returning to his call. the girl stood up and, tears burning her cheeks, a soft whimpering escaping as her lip quivered and then, at last, off she did f#^k.

    True story.

  • I coped one in the nose at a party quite a few years back now. He obviously took offense to something I said, ever the loud joker of a drunk that I am. It was a short affair, he got me while I was sitting down, and there wasn’t much I could do while spewing blood from my face. I regret nothing.

    This is what happens when kids are allowed to play to much GTA. Jokes.

  • I was punched in the chest once at the local pool by a bully when I was a teenager, other than that no – I’ve never been punched in the face (touch wood) and I’ve never had to throw a punch (other than in Judo classes)

  • A couple of years ago I was out at a club drinking with a friend and her boyfriend. When her boyfriend went to get drinks, some big sleazy guy (who was 3 times my size!) started hitting on & harrassing her.
    I told the guy that she’s here with her partner, he instantly turned towards me & headbutted me in the eye. When that didnt knock me down he layed another one in. He was thrown out instantly & my eye became swollen & black.
    Karma must have been on my side that night, because even with a deformed eye I somehow got lucky that night with a random! (or she just felt sorry for me lol) either way it was a nite I wont soon forget!

  • Yeah was at some random party for me. Barely remember anything, other then some fellas starting on my mate, because he was apparently looking at one of their girls the wrong way. So one of them just came over and punched my mate straight in the face while he was sitting down having a beer. I was right next to him, so I just turned around and gave the dude a hook to the guts. Totally winded him, and he pretty much pissed off after a bit of pushing and shoving.

    Although I heard the next morning that him and some of his mates were waiting out the front to jump us as we left… not knowing we were crashing at the house that night lol

  • I’ve never initiated a fight in my life – but damn have i ever been in a lot..

    I was pretty much the target of bullies throughout primary school and high school. Being short and somewhat loud seems to paint a rather large target on your head.

    So yeah, i have been punched in the head quite a few times, but also punched a lot of heads myself.

    See when i got to high school i couldn’t take it any more, and as soon as someone physically hurt me i would snap and go into a sort of black rage. You know the sort – the ones where you feel no pain.

    One day after school 3 asshats decided to team up on me – first one thought it would be even funnier if he kicked me in the balls first – which he did… i lost it and by the end had knocked all three to the ground…
    boy was i sore a few minutes later when i had calmed down, though.

    What really got to me, was that more than once i would end up getting susspended when the bullies got off scot-free, as i hurt them more than they hurt me, so they just assumed i caused the fight…

    Get stuffed.. i mean honestly, who starts a fight with 3-1 odds against them… *sigh*

    I hated school so, so much…

    Only time out of school that i had been punched was the day my grandpa died and my 2 younger cousins and i went for a walk to clear our heads – we ended up in the city, walking along the yarra outside crown, when a group of over a dozen guido’s, all easily older and much larger than us, cornered us and demanded my wallet and phone.
    I said “are you joking?”
    Then *bam*..
    I didn’t even feel the punch but all i knew is my jaw hurt like hell.. all those guys were ready to go and i sort of rolled with the punch andstepped to my side and pushed my cousins in the oposite direction.. we just kept walking and the guys didn’t pursue… must have seen a security guard or something.. i don’t really know..

    all i know is i still have the plate in my jaw…

    • I got kicked in the balls so hard in third grade that it winded me.

      I kept telling the teacher that I was kickied in the NUTS and all he kept hearing was in the GUTS.

    • I know exactly how you feel dude, happened almost exactly the same way for me during school. The kids always get away with it and you’re the one that gets in trouble.

  • I was punched in the face most recently in around 2005, on my way to a party at a university friend’s place with my then-girlfriend.

    The trains were out so there were buses replacing trains. Some kids had wanted to jump off the bus at a non-stop (traffic lights) and the driver refused. As he began to drive away from the traffic lights, the kids triggered the emergency release for the door and jumped out as the bus was moving. The driver slammed on the brakes.

    One agressive (and fat) guy stood up and started abusing the driver for endangering the kids (I don’t know if he was being abusive because he thought the driver opened the doors on the moving bus, of because he slammed the brakes on… I don’t know). The yelling escalated and then he took a swing at the driver.

    When we got to our stop (event free) the aggro (and fat) guy started yelling at the marshalls, saying the driver should reported for endangering people.

    I was stuck behind this guy, who had decided to make his pitch while still standing on the bottom step of the bus door and was therefore completely blocknig the exit.

    So I called out “someone should report YOU for taking a swing at the driver while the bus was moving”, then pushed him aside to leave, having made my point.

    He followed me, calling out vaguely threatening remarks over the heaving and puffing, struggling to talk and walk at the same time.

    “Oh yeah?!” he called, adding “you wanna see a… you wanna… see me take… take a swing?”

    He belted me across the back of the head as I walked away, unfortunately there were no nearby puddles of water to ripple and alert me to his presence like the approaching T-rex in Jurassic Park.

    His fist connecting with my head did not hurt, possibly due to the thick padding on his (fat) knuckles that gave the overall impression of a natural boxing glove. U turned to face him and put down the box of canned drink I was carrying, losing my glasses in the process as he connected with my face, they went flying off into the night (thankfully retrieved by my girlfriend, who was otherwise busy being very angry at me).

    At this point I raised my hands, ready to return fire. As I scanned my target with blurred vision, trying to find the weak points in the fleshy mass surrounding his beady, piglike eyes, he suddenly retreated! At first I thought I had won by default, but it turned out that two other men had come to my rescue, dragging him away and trying to convince him I was not the enemy – that I am not responsible for poor bus service, and that no one needed to get hurt over a few words.

    As I felt responsible (and ashamed of myself) I wanted to stick around, but a third accomplice to the two engaged on my behalf waved me away and said “just go, mate, we got this”.

    I was once kicked in the face during a tae kwon do lesson.
    Pro: I was wearing a mask.
    Con: I was wearing glasses inside the mask, which broke, resulting in my cutting my eyebrow.
    Pro: Everyone’s reaction as I sat up, pulled my helmet off, and blood cascaded down the right side of my face.
    Pro/Con: My friend who helped me got more of my blood on his uniform than I got on my own. He was pretty cool with it, because he was kind of weird and I guess at least now he could tell people he had blood on his tae kwon do uniform.

  • Road rage incident for me.

    Got cut off by a P plater flying out of a side street (turning left) onto the main road I was travelling down on my motorbike. I had to slam on the brakes, locked the tyres and almost ran up the back of the guy. I gave him some horn and the next thing I know he’s giving me the finger out of his sunroof. All his friends turn around and laugh at me.

    So at the next set of lights, I pulled up next to him, he was giving me lip out the window. So I put my bike up on the stand, got off and gave him a quick bop on the face with my re-enforced gloves. I’m not proud of it, but it felt good, he almost killed me.

  • At school on a number of occasions. It was a very bad area. People would always be starting fights for no real reason (me and my brother joked that it was like WWE wrestling with new feuds every week like it was written in some crappy script). My fondest face punching memory was a guy who (in a big group) had bullied my brother I found him got a great shot in. He was alot bigger than me or my brother, but it was such a good shot fuelled by such rage. he just sat on the ground in a daze, prick never bothered my brother again he did threaten revenge on me but nothing ever happed.

  • I was at a party, and a couple of my friends got in a fight with some other people. I joined in to try and help, I’m a very small person compared to them. I think the three of us ended up with mild concussion and I had a black eye. We left two of them mainly untouched, but one of them woke up with a broken nose and very bruised ribs. Not in a hurry to do it again.

  • a friend was trying to get me to finch and got a bit too close to my face, after it hit i pushed him and he fell backwards onto a chair and almost broke his leg, still in pain my the push and still punched him in the face.

    Also something, i found these DD site called the green gamer, and they having 20% off, i haven’t noticed anything about localised pricing, and i bough one game which had non on steam for 20% off, and Deus Ex Human revolution is only 42 dollars but can get it down to 34 with 20% off. I would reco for someone to try it out, and score Deus ex PC for half the price of steam version and slightly cheaper than Ozgameshop.

  • Never been in a real fight in my life, but I’ve got about 9 or 10 years worth of karate training. While you’re not supposed to actually hit people in the face during sparring (you’re supposed to have enough control to pull it up just short – near enough that they know you COULD have got them in the face), there’s always the chance of accidents given that people are moving around so if they move forward just as you’re punching, you might not be able to adjust it in time. So in that context I’ve received (and given) a few whacks to the face over the years, but nothing that resulted in serious injury to anybody.

  • Quite a few times actually, but here are the two that stand out.

    1. I was at a local bar with a mate, you know, watching a band, having a few drinks. At the end of the night, I went out the front to have a smoke. I looked inside and my mate was in-between a couple of groups trying to calm them down, when he got punched in the face so hard one of his teeth went through his cheek. So I went in and was all like “who the fuck hit my mate?!?”. This dude a bit taller than me, and very clearly pinging off his face on something said ” I did what the fuck are you going to do about it?”. I raised my hands saying “nothing man just take it easy” and turned to look after my mate. Next thing I know I’m on the ground with one of my chick friends holding me and covering my face, with this guy standing over me “that was my left wanna see my right?!?”.. All I could think was “well I didn’t want your left in the first place”. Anyway, he sucker punched me so hard that he fractured my right eye socket, shattered my cheekbone, and fractured my lower jaw. The doctors said I was going to lose my right eye, because of all the bone floating around that might sever the optic nerve. Luckily I didn’t, but I still had to get plates in my face to put it all back together. Even with witness statements, CCTV footage and the fact that I found out who he was, the police never did anything about it. The bar owner covered his own ass saying I new them the whole time, even though I’d never seen them before in my entire life.

    2. I accidentally cut some guy off while driving (my bad), and he followed me and cut my car off, forcing me to stop. Before I knew it this roid raging hulk of a wog and his mate had kicked my door in and punched me square in the face through my open window. They had two chicks in the back seats so I’m guessing it was just some alpha male shit, showing off. I swear if I ever see that green Lexus with 70 inch spinners again I’m going to pull up next to them and blow them a kiss.

    • Wow. I swear, some people mustn’t know how much damage a single punch can do. Imagine if you’d lost your eye just for asking who hit your friend.

      I’ve never hit anyone, but I have been hit in the face. Was walking home from a bar with a few mates and saw a group of guys headed towards us looking aggressive, so as the big guy at the front came up to me I held out my hand to shake and said “hey mate, how’s it going?’ and he lunged forward and punched me between the eyes, breaking my nose. People are awesome.

  • Many, many, many times. My childhood was like Chuloopa’s. I was bullied all through primary school and up until year 10 in highschool. In year 9 I started to fight back because I was sick of it and I would go into a black rage like Chuloopa’s and would keep fighting, no matter what. I remember on work experience one time, I was up north with a bunch of 20-40 year old’s, I was only 15 at this stage. One of the 40 year old’s kept hassling me and ended up starting on me one night back at the house, he had me up against a wall with my finger bent back so if I moved, it would break my finger. I moved, my finger broke, I punched him in the guts, kneed him in the face, grabbed his hair and slammed his head into the fridge. They all left me alone after that, were actually very friendly. Those sort of people only respect people that stand up for themselves.

    At school, there was this one guy that used to always buy stuff from the canteen, like supashakes or yoghurts, pin me down and pour them on me. One time, I got so angry, I gknocked him back, grabbed the supashake from him, kicked his knee out, pushed him onto his back and then poured the supashake all over his face, spat on him and walked away. He never, ever bothered me again. Not really proud of it but boy it felt good to give back some of what I got.

    Now, my 18th, the only fight I ever started. There was this guy that my friend’s were friends with but I hated with a passion. He wasn’t invited but rocked up anyway, I told him to go away. My friends kept hassling me to let him stay, I eventually conceded as long as he behaved himself. He started smashing bottles in my shed, I took this calmly, gave him a broom and told him to sweep up. He refused to and started yelling obscenities. My mother came in then and started talking to him, he told her to “shut the f*ck up, you stupid slut” and pushed her. I grabbed him by the hair, pulled him out the front of the house, shoved him into the side of his van and told him to f*ck off. He wouldn’t, so I hit him, his lip split almost down to his chin and his head hit the side of his van. He still wouldn’t leave so I hit him again and broke his nose. Then he started apologising and saying he was sorry for ruining my birthday and asked me to walk up the street with him so we could talk it over. I drunkenly agreed and when we were up the street, he tripped me over, I fell straight on my face and broke my nose. He then started hitting me in the back of the head, I got up, got him in a headlock and started hitting him in the face, I broke the knuckle of my pinky doing this. I then had to go to the hospital and wait in emergency for 3 hours before they looked at my hand and my nose. Completely ruined the night.

    I detest violence, but sometimes its unavoidable and I think everyone should know how to defend themselves as you can’t talk your way out of every situation.

  • I punched a random guy on the street in the face once when I was shitfaced drunk in st kilda im ashamed to say. I didnt realise what i had done until the andrenaline of the situation sobered me up enough to realise. Dont know why I did it, I felt terrible and was lucky to have my friend to diffuse the situation. I ended up helping him up and apologising.

  • The last time for me was in was in High School. I was watching a district basketball tournament with a few schools represented from the area. I was outside between games and some guy was talking sh1t to a female friend of mine and I told him to leave her alone and piss off… he did to my surprise but it was still one of those moments in life where you say it and then instantly wish you had kept your bloody mouth shut.

    After that I went with her and another female friend to drop the girl off at the station and on the way found out firstly that she knew they guy because she went to his school the year before and 2, that school just happened to be across the friggen road from the tournament.

    So fast forward and when me and girl 2 got back there were about 10 guys waiting for me in the carpark. Now at this point, had I been alone I would have turned the bloody car around and left, but it’s very apparent that this 17 year old had all the blood in the “other” head at that point so I got out of the car fully expecting to cop an arse kicking.

    I’d like to say I gave as good as I got but really I just managed to stay on my feet long enough for my mates to see and get their asses out to the car park along with just about every school teacher that was there and save my stupid ass.

  • Me and a mate saw a drunk beat up this other guy outside a bar. We overhead what they were saying and it sounds like they’re fighting because one of them threw a tin can at them.

    • I once saw 2 drunks attempting to fight in front of my house (I lived near a pub), but they were so drunk that they kept missing their punches and then fell over.
      It was the highlight of my week.

      • Two drunks FIGHTING? Two drunks FIGHTING? I’d give anything to have seen two drunks FIGHTING.

        Seriously though, my friend told me a story about this time he was getting home late and saw two drunks taking a leak side by side in the bushes. One finished and zipped up, and started talking to his buddy who was still going. His buddy, got all emotional and said “aww, I LOVE YOU, MATE” as he turned to give him a hug… while in mid stream.

  • In high school on year was repeatedly punched in the back of the head and shoulder blades while face down on the ground got free and eventually ran home…no idea how many times i was hit by the time i came back to school (no serious injury ust a concusion and didnt feel safe so 2 weeks later) the story was just a story and my principle told my dad i should basically harden up (he did not believe it) and i got put on detention for skipping classes (when i ran home)…got the kid back one afternoon a year later…slammed his head into the concrete wall when he tried to bring it up again…he was fine..but we stayed well away from each other from then on

  • Fightings good for you, any one who has never been in a fight has not lived life. Missing out on the enlightenment you recieve knowing your not invincible and you can break quite easily if you know where to hit.

  • I was involved in a brawl when I was 17.
    Basically was at a friends birthday in Lakewood, commonly known as ‘The Pines’. Anyone from the Mornington Peninsula probably knows what a rough sh*hole this area is.

    Anyway I was having drinks, making friends, having a good time. Some rough heads noticed me and thought I was having too good a time. So they confronted me, surrounded me, and told me I had been starting one of their mates.

    I did everything I could to reason with them but it was obvious they wanted a fight. So one of them headbutts me and it’s on. I go down swinging left and right and the next thing I know I’m on the ground getting bottles smashed over my head thinking ‘I really hope I don’t get stabbed right now”.

    Turns out all the guys I made friends with over the night jumped in to help, so it was a full-on brawl and everybody was into it. By the time the fight was broken up a couple of guys had to go to hospital, I went too for a check up but all I got was a few cuts and scratches from the broken glass. To this day I look back on that fight and remind myself how lucky I am.

  • Yes to both. Both barfight incidents on uni campus a few years ago. A real shitty place hardly anyone visited, but was frequented by townies who came to pick up college girls.

    First time was couple hits each.

    Second I wasn’t even drunk but was king-hit by some douchebag who ran when I eventually got to my feet.

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