US Presidential Candidate Doesn’t Want You To Know About His Pokémons

You’ve gotta hand it to Republican Presidential Candidate Herman Cain. One minute the guy is proposing a three-page limit on bills in Washington, then he’s calling Jon Stewart a racist, and now… well, now he’s breaking out the Pokémon references.

In his closing statement during last night’s Republican Primary debate, Cain got all deep and inspirational:

“A poet once said, ‘Life can be a challenge, life can seem impossible, but it’s never easy when there’s so much on the line.”

As it turns out, those lyrics aren’t the words of any old poet; they are the words of the immortal Donna Summer. More specifically, they’re lyrics from Summer’s song “The Power of One”, also known as the theme song from Pokémon: The Movie 2000, according to a Cain lyrics investigation by New York Magazine.

One can only guess as to how these lyrics wound up in Cain’s head. He’s quoted the song in a number of public appearances recently, and on what appears to be the an officially endorsed website, he attributes the words to “the closing song to the 2000 Olympics”.

He’s got the year right, but the beloved competitive event Cain is thinking of is a bit less “France vs Sweden” and more “FireRed vs Snorlax”.

Things aren’t looking good for Cain in the primary — FiveThirtyEight polling maestro Nate Silver currently puts him at 35-1 odds against, a 2.8 per cent chance of winning the nomination. Facing numbers like that, Cain might as well go all-out and openly court the Pokémon demographic. I’m imagining his speeches ending something like this:

“A poet once said:
I want to be the very best.
Like no one ever was.

To catch them is my real test;
to train them is my cause.

A heart so true;
our courage will pull us through.
You teach me, and I’ll teach you.

Gotta Catch ‘Em All!

God bless you, and God bless the United States of America!”

The Mystery of Herman Cain and the Donna Summer Lyrics [NYMag]


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