Gabe Newell Knows When The Next Half-Life Is Coming. He Just Can't Say It Via Haiku.

Valve boss Gabe Newell has a history of replying directly to emails from the public, so there's a good chance this exchange with an impatient Half-Life fan is for real.

Either way, there's a definite chance that it's great.

If anyone else wants to give it a show, maybe try a sonnet. Or an epic poem. The latter would leave enough room for a release date and system specs.

Exchanging Episode 3 haikus with Gabe Newell [Reddit]


    Except the last line uses 6 syllables. Nice work, Gabe.

    Gabe has had a fail
    it was six syllables long
    in the last sentence


      So did you, first line.

        Depends whether you say "fail" or "fay-il". Or "fae-awl".

          What? Syllables don't change depending on who is pronouncing it. It's one.

            Actually how someone pronounces a syllable is very important in English poetry and music. Latin and Japanese have rigider systems, but in English, with our many dialects, not-exactly-precise pronunciation system, and love in general for saying words 100x different ways, it's important enough ;)

            Fail can be either 1 or two syllables depending on the speaker's dialect, and how they're choosing to say it. Since I say it close to "foul", it's 1 for me.

              I would like to remind everyone that Haiku's written in the English language do not need to adhere to the syllable limit at all.

              Actually this makes Gabe's response even funnier.

            Yes, yes they do. Ask any linguist who has a rudimentary knowledge of phonology.

    Maybe the 6 syllables is intentional and the last word is a 1 syllable month name. March? May?

      Oh wait, it's meant to be 5, don't mind me.

    Cheeky Gabe Newell
    Torments us with fail Haiku
    Syllables +1

    I think he tripped up on "Epi", counting it as one syllable.

      Stuff episode 3, now everyone wants to know whether Gabe says "Episode" or "Ep'sode" ;) (don't take that seriously though valve! In truth we really want to know BOTH ;))

    Clearly what happened here was Gabe ate one of the syllables and didn't tell anyone. So in his mind it was 5.


    With the syllables thing: in Japanese it is not 5-7-5 syllables. It's actually 5-7-5 morae, which is a concept which is not in English, so we just think of it as syllables.

    Episode is actually 2 morae, epi-sode.

    If anyone is reading this then i am calling it. They are going to release Half-life ep3 bundled with Dota2 and CounterStrike:GO
    I recon it would be something like a OrangeBox 2.

      And hats. Don't forget the hats.

    Maybe having no date for when it ships is a subtle hint that its never coming. :p


    Or maybe with the insane amount of work he gets he just responded to this email very quickly and hence does not care or did not have time to proof read. My point, we are over thinking nothing.

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