These Are Real Achievements: Not In The Face, Quit Poking Me

Shinobi isn’t just a wonderful throw-back to the classic, painfully hard Shinobi of the ’80s, it’s also a game with a surprisingly long, surprisingly humorous list of achievements.

Here’s a few I jotted down following a play session with the upcoming 3DS game.

Two left feet: Fall into a pit.
Not in the face: Killed by a melee attack.
Ninja reflex: Parry and attack.
All fun and games: The best way to avoid being killed is to not block with your face.
Quit poking me: Jump into fire or spikes.
Die hard: 100 deaths.
I have the power: Discover ninja magic
The One: Parry 100 attacks
Jumped the shark: Did you just jump over a shark?
Thanks you’re the best: Watching the credits.
Float like a butterfly: Complete a level without any parry.
S is for shinobi: Achieve an S rank in all levels.

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