Prisoner Builds Swords. Final Fantasy Swords.

Prisoner Builds Swords. Final Fantasy Swords.
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A prisoner serving a sentence in Monmouthshire, Wales has been found to be in possession of an extensive arsenal of bladed weapons. The thing is, they’re all fake. All made out of matchsticks. And some are based on the weapons of the Final Fantasy universe.

The Governor of the prison, Steve Cross, told The Sun, “Their realism presented a genuine threat to the safety of staff, visitors and other prisoners”. Meanwhile, a “source” told the tabloid, “It must have taken months. The knives were lethal.”

Steve Cross and his staff are obviously not big JRPG fans, then, because nobody realised one was a Buster Sword from Final Fantasy VII, or that another — which featured “a fully revolving barrel” — is Squall’s gunblade from Final Fantasy VIII.

Because the knives looked real, they could be used to threaten people, so they’re obviously not on. Maybe the guy should build Final Fantasy haircuts out of matchsticks instead. No, wait, that’d be just as dangerous…

Lag’s cell arsenal made from tiny sticks [The Sun — thanks Matthew!]

Comments

  • None of these look any more ‘lethal’ than a bookmark does. And to think someone thought they were realistic? That’s just sad.

    Some moron guard prolly freaked out and put the staff into a panic, and then when they saw how fake and ‘pointless’ it all was they decided to act like it was really a threat in order to save face.

  • Oh gawd… that byline for the headline..

    “This terrifying arsenal found in a jail cell is all made out of MATCHSTICKS. ”

    TERRIFYING ARSENAL!

    LAWLZ

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