Call Of Duty: JB Hifi Tells It As It Is

Well, it looks like we can all go home. Critics, journalists, writers -- the games press can retire, because JB Hifi is doing a wonderful job of filling in our shoes and Telling It Like It Is.

Personally, I really like that JB staff have a bit of fun with their game reviews. I took a photo of this review last week while I was wandering through the store being mistaken for a sales assistant (there must be something about me that screams "I know where things are"). I have been unfortunate enough to play Call of Duty, so I guess I can hang onto my consoles. For those who haven't played it, I guess you are n00bs and should sell your consoles.


Comments

    calling wii owners noobs, lawl

      ...there's Call of Duty on the wii

        And yes, Wii owners are, for lack of a better word, noobs.

          Anyone who owns Skyward Sword/Twilight Princess wants a word.

            Twilight Princess is better on Gamecube :s

              How good were the Rogue Squadron games?

                I bought my Gamecube just to play Rogue Squadron 2 and it's still a blast. Still pretty as hell, smooth as butter, the perfect Star Wars arcade experience.

                They are awesomesauce! I have all 3 still. Must dig them out for a crack.

          Wow, wii bashing never gets old aye?

            the wii has some good games.. but then you take away nintendo.. and its suddenly a steaming pile of shit. One dev doesn't make a good console, the wii is a waste of money IMO

              The Wii is great.... for playing Gamecube games!

      DEV sir, you are a noob

      P.S DEV the pic is of the wii version......

    Ahh jb, we love you

      ah jb go fuck yourself, ill buy my games elsewhere

        He's Commander Shepard, and this is not his favourite store on the Citadel.

        JB murdered your family?

          JB proved his family have terrible taste in music.

    Not a noob. Just a different type of gamer. I'd rather play resistance or batman thanks. Or Final Fantasy Dissidia.

      Yeah, justify your noobishness any way you want.

      I can smell it from here, bro.

      I also typed this up with a 360 controller while I waited for the next MW3 map to load.

        Farking Lobby system. spend more time in that bastard than you play the damned game

      I much prefer Dissidia 012 Duodecim: Final Fantasy over the original, myself.

    But it's a shooter, why would you play it on a console if you're not a noob...

      Precisely, looks like JB hires noobs to call other people noobs, how noobish.

        Noobception!

    I played the original COD, does that cover me?

    Man, JB's are really split personality about what they'll allow and what they won't. I know that when I worked there a little while back, if I had tried to write a review like that, I would have been whooped hard.

    Also, insutling your customers? Smooth move right there.

      insulting? It's all tongue and cheek.

        Lol, whoever wrote the review is a noob. Everyone who isn't a noob knows you play FPS's on PC NOT console.

        What a nooby reviewer.

    If you think CoD is essential gaming you're a terrible gamer.

      And you're a terrible internet commenter.

        woah there big fella, watch where you pop that zit, you're getting your 14 year youth juice all over my SNES catridge

    Is COD the one with the Nazi Zombies? A friend of mine got me to have a go of that once. Otherwise I don't think I have played one.

    I hope it is, I don't want to have to sell my consoles :(

    Call of Duty is shit boring, hasn't been good since Modern Warfare 1

      More like hasn't been good since CoD 2

        ^this. it was after COD2 that the began to move focus away from linear but brilliant set piece gameplay, to multiplayer to cater for the console kiddies. Don't get me wrong consoles are great and I enjoy the style of gaming they offer, shooters and rts's are superior on PC with out a doubt.

        hasn't been good since world at war...

    Okay so who wants to buy my NES, SNES, N64, Playstation, Playstation 2, Gamcube, Xbox, NDS phat, NDS lite, Wii, Xbox360, DSi, 3DS and Playstation 3?
    Because I have never play a COD game and I'm obviously a n00b who should sell their consoles. =( I will miss them.

      I'll take them all of your hands for $50?

        Those consoles are worth thousands of dollars together, moron.

          And so he would be getting them at an absolutely bargain if he only pays $50!

            I'll have them for free and donate them to someone who's played CO Dbut has no consoles for they are not noobs, apparently.. >_>

            Just sell up, Scree. Join the peace corps or something. Its over, bro

            That's a nicer response than he deserved

              I'm confused, is everyone angry at Scree? Or Ryan?

                This is The Internet. Everyone is angry at everyone at all times. :P

                  WE ARE NOT... I'm so pissed at you for claiming that...

                  IM NEVER FUCKING ANGRY ON THE GOD DAMN INTERNET!

                  I think we're far enough into this argument to invoke Godwin's Law, you Nazis.

                  YES! you have summed up the internet FINALLY! In saying that I love you and Mark and hence your summation is both correct and incorrect **universe explodes**

                They can't be angry at me for taking a joke right? Or maybe it's my lack of anger that made them angry

      What, no Dreamcast?

        No dreamcast as yet, but hopefully in the future. Some of the best xbox games were dreamcast sequels

    I really thought it was going to say "If you've played one Call of Duty game you've played them all".

    The use of the term "noob" has become so cringeworthy and outdated. I have to squint whenever I hear someone use it.

      Like "teabag". People forget the original meaning and now use it to prove how "pro" they are.

      I had an ex-gf who used to call people noobs and she wasn't a gamer (except orsm facebook games!). Cringe worthy.

    It's funny because that's the attitude you'd expect from bro gamers or kids. Thinking the pinnacle of gaming is and will always be CoD.

      How depressing.

    Wha? Meh, I hate CoD and games like it, no loss for me.

    Its obviously a tongue in cheek joke, why on earth do people get offended?

      Tongue and cheek is acceptable. In this instance the reviewer seems more arrogant..though.

    Oh well.

    At least I have still have my beloved Professor Layton games to keep me happy...

    I enjoy how riled up everyone is getting.

    Sort of wish Troll Phelps had written this, just so he could live up to his name a little more.

    Sure, let's take this seriously.

    hehe im a noob!... and I'm OK with that.

      Tim to sell up, FatShady. I expect to see your Xboxes (all five of them!) on eBay by close of business.

        I am not a newb. I'm an 01D. When I was a spry young lass, I wandered through the halls of Quake and Unreal and such, sniping heads with a rail gun while jumping off tall buildings... Alas, now, all I experience in these games is walking 5 feet and getting shot in the back of the head.

        also, controllers suck!

        But really, I miss being able to enjoy FPSs! I just tried APB and between being 01d and in Australia (Yay ping times over 1k!) it lost it's fun as soon as other players were in the mix and I became what we in Netrek used to call 'free beer'.

          I was just reminiscing about the "good old days" when I used to play FPSs like Quake, and Hexen this morning. I miss the fantasy ones, there's too many war and realistic ones around these days for me.

          I too remember those days, been reliving Q3 on quakelive; wireless internet makes it impossible to play though :(

    Guys. Hey, guys. I think this might be a joke. Chill.

    I played it on PC. I'm elite.

    (prepares for elitist whore posts)

    I feel so . . . ANGRY!!!!

      *Hungry - I meant to say hungry.

        Just to clarify: I feel so . . . hungry

          Well, maybe if your gravatar didn't look like Ghandi??

            That may be so, but an eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind.

              On second thoughts, maybe it's Don Logan.

              (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0203119/)

                \o/

    The comments on this article are bad for my blood pressure.

    Takes a deep breath.

    No, I have nothing else to say.

    Face turning purple, he makes an excuse and leaves the room.

    The DNF and Lulu ones were funny.. this one is a bit silly because others have said, it hardly makes you a noob. The other two were true, though as DNF was a bit shit and Lulu sucks ass.

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