Win! One Of Three Awesome Aliens Vs Predator Box Sets

12 years ago

December 13, 2011 at 3:00 pm

It’s day two of our competition week. We’re giving something away every single day, and today’s prize is a little bit special: an awesome Blu-ray Aliens vs Predator boxset.

We have three to give away, and each winner receives the following…

• Premium Collection of all 9 Alien / Predator / AVP with 2 bonus discs
• Holographic packaging
• 10 Collector cards
• 10 page book with matt lamination
• Limited Edition Giger print collector card

Entering this competition is simple. In the comments below we want you to create the best possible tough guy catchphrase possible — feel free to add the context of the situation in which it’s used if necessary.

I’m of awesome Arnie style catchphrases such as “He’s DEAD Tired” or “Let off some steaaaaam, Bennett”. The Predator series in general is well known for its awesome catchphrases, so let’s hear some quality originals for this comp! Drop them in the comments below and we’ll announce the winners one week from now!

Terms and conditions can be found here!

Comments

185 responses to “Win! One Of Three Awesome Aliens Vs Predator Box Sets”

READ THE COMMENTS

Shane

December 13, 2011 at 3:06 pm

“click click click CLICK click clickclickclick”

English is not adequate to bear the sheer awesomeness of this Predator smack talk

Reply
Aliasalpha

December 13, 2011 at 3:08 pm

“You are one ugly mother…. no wait, now that I look at you, you have a certain rugged appeal, the way the sun glints off the blood dripping from your razor sharp fangs, your black shark like eyes that ache with an evil hunger… Oh to hell with conventional standards of beauty, you’re gorgeous, KISS ME!!”

After all, there’s nothing saying you can’t be a tough guy AND a hopeless romantic

Reply
1. Shane
  
  December 13, 2011 at 3:10 pm
  
  Now for the all important survey question: Why do you like these movies? 😛
  
  Reply
  1. Aliasalpha
    
    December 13, 2011 at 3:22 pm
    
    …personal reasons…
    
    Reply
Sam Foote

December 13, 2011 at 3:08 pm

Prepare to cry…

Reply
Zenxx

December 13, 2011 at 3:08 pm

I’m a one man army and your about to meet my artillery!

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LOTUK

December 13, 2011 at 3:09 pm

“Tonight, you dine on shell”
Said just prior to pulling the trigger on the shotgun strategically located inside alien’s mouth

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thistler

December 13, 2011 at 3:09 pm

“I’ve got something in my pocket for you…”

Reply
Zenxx

December 13, 2011 at 3:09 pm

I’m a one man army and your about to meet my artillery!! BOOM!!

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Shane

December 13, 2011 at 3:12 pm

“Chuck Norris is scared of me. Start running.”

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Brendan

December 13, 2011 at 3:13 pm

“I hope you like laughter, because you’re about to die of it”

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Michael

December 13, 2011 at 3:15 pm

“Hello Alien. I’m Steven Seagul.”

*Stares at Alien. Alien drops dead*

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1. Chazz
  
  December 13, 2011 at 3:23 pm
  
  To predator; “Why don’t you take a seat right there.”
  
  To alien; “I’m afraid your visa has expired”
  
  Reply
  1. Chazz
    
    December 13, 2011 at 3:24 pm
    
    Whoops that wasn’t meant as a reply :S
    
    Reply
    1. Michael
      
      December 13, 2011 at 3:37 pm
      
      Mine was just so super awesome that you needed to make sure yours was seen next to it to stand a chance at winning 😉
      
      Reply
      1. Chazz
        
        December 13, 2011 at 4:28 pm
        
        Of course. Yours makes use of Steven Seagull. The action hero from such films as; Chico Above the Caw, On Sandy Ground and Out For A Chip.
Di11enger

December 13, 2011 at 3:18 pm

*finishes ice-cream*
“You have just been Licked”

Reply
Michael

December 13, 2011 at 3:18 pm

“You’re going to go across the street and get me some orange sherrrberrrt”

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Stevorooni

December 13, 2011 at 3:19 pm

deleted

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Ben

December 13, 2011 at 3:20 pm

“If it bleeds, we can make its bodily functions of interest to historians”

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Jon Snow

December 13, 2011 at 3:20 pm

Undercover as a waiter in a restaurant about to serve a dish.

“Here you sir, a sandwich served with a side of fist” BAMMM

Haha OMG so lame. How many arrow to the knee lines will there be??

Reply
Di11enger

December 13, 2011 at 3:21 pm

“Hello. You’ve reached Arnolds pizza shop. I’m not here now, I’m out killing pepperoni! If you want to reach me, if you want a pizza, I don’t care cuz I’m not here, Can’t you realize that idiot! But if you need a pizza sometime during the next few days, I can have it delivered to you. Or maybe I will staple it to you! I don’t care what you want on it, every pizza comes with pepperoni and with 9 millimeter bullets on it. If you don’t like it, I don’t care cuz you’ll recieve one anyhow! The only difference is, maybe the 9 millimeter bullets will be in a gun or, maybe they’ll be on your pizza! If you don’t fuck around,I’ll give you good pizza. If you do fuck around, I’ll take a pepperoni and punch it through your head! So, if you want mushroom, shut up! If you want broccoli, what the hell is broccoli anyway, shut up with the broccoli! If you want something crazy like pineapple, I’LL KILL YOU! If you like pepperoni and bullets, you’ve come to the right place. If not you’re an idiot, you deserve to die! So, leave your name, number, serial number, how tall you are, weather you’re seseptible to any deseases and, if you are, I’ll come over. Maybe I’ll give you a pizza, maybe I’ll break off your arm!”*

*not original, just wanted to share the hilariousness. Can’t remember where I saw/heard it but my cousin and I always quote it together.

Reply
1. Di11enger
  
  December 13, 2011 at 3:21 pm
  
  Must be read in ARNIE voice
  
  Reply
Supreme

December 13, 2011 at 3:21 pm

“Well Mr.Vladamir i guess you time is 140%….overdue!”

Reply
Meteors

December 13, 2011 at 3:21 pm

I used to be a tough guy with an awesome catchphrase just like you, and so I put an arrow in Arnie.

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GFresh

December 13, 2011 at 3:21 pm

‘And you thought the new predator movie sucks’ uttered before flipping the switch on an industrial vacuum that sucks brain matter out of an aliens ear canal

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Win

December 13, 2011 at 3:21 pm

Arnold – “You should clone yourself”, “so you can go F*** yourself”
Arnold – “Come with me if you want to live.”
CM Punk – “YOU HAVE A VAGINA!”
Samuel – “Does he look like a BITCH?!”
Sylvester and Richard – “What do we do…?”, “………F***’EM!”

All the ones i can remember without looking them up. hope they’re tough enough!

Reply
Lone Wolf

December 13, 2011 at 3:22 pm

“You want some of this you MOTHERF@#%ING SONS OF B!%@#ES? Well too bad, this is mine, you can’t have it. Stay the hell back! Mine!”

Reply
joshy206

December 13, 2011 at 3:23 pm

*grab a grenade with the letters N, A and P on them and shove it into the villain’s mouth, before kicking them off an aircraft carrier that is in mid-air after being dropped by a giant Russian plane*

“Take a dirt nap, mother****er”

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Paul ‘AngryNerd’

December 13, 2011 at 3:24 pm

“Your family will feel pride that you died by my hand”

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Ynefel

December 13, 2011 at 3:24 pm

Game over, man! Game over! Shit, wait… there’s one continue left?!?! Boss!

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Jon Snow

December 13, 2011 at 3:26 pm

Undercover as a waiter in a restaurant about to serve a dish.

“Here you sir, a sandwich served with a side of fist” BAMMM
Haha OMG so lame. How many arrow to the knee lines will there be??

Reply
Jarrod

December 13, 2011 at 3:26 pm

*puts victim in sausage machine*

“Great to meat you!”

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HuggyCHEA

December 13, 2011 at 3:26 pm

After an intense shootout/fight in a house with an enemy agent, our hero battered and bruised stands over the beaten down and broken agent. Our hero stares into the agents eyes deeply, menacingly, then says “Sucks to be you” then beats the agent to death with a nearby vacuum.

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Ethan

December 13, 2011 at 3:27 pm

Revenge is a dish best served lead.

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Neo-Kaiser

December 13, 2011 at 3:28 pm

I’m tired of these monkey fighting snakes, on this Monday through Friday plane!

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Freeze S. Preston Icequire

December 13, 2011 at 3:30 pm

Fighting Crazy Horses evil twin in an aero plane. After a long fight, Evil Crazy Horse is standing over our hero near the door about to swing his Evil Tomahawk down when our hero shouts “you know evil crazy horse, it is a good day to FLY!” then opens the hatch sending Evil Crazy Horse out into the air.

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Pariah

December 13, 2011 at 3:30 pm

Fair warning, alien; I put the laughter in slaughter.

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Jon Snow

December 13, 2011 at 3:31 pm

Undercover as a waiter in a restaurant about to serve a dish.

“Here you sir, a sandwich served with a side of fist” BAMMM

Haha OMG so lame. How many arrow to the knee lines will there be??

Reply
Gladice

December 13, 2011 at 3:31 pm

“You better hope I don’t have syphilis mate, coz I’m gonna f*** you up.”

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ChoM

December 13, 2011 at 3:32 pm

What? You think it’s game over now I’ve run out of ammo. Guess again pretty boy, I’m just getting warmed up, yeaaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!!

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Wonko

December 13, 2011 at 3:34 pm

“It’s time to make some meat pies and feed them to your children”
RATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATA *gun shots*

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That guy

December 13, 2011 at 3:35 pm

Predator has a human by his throat against the wall, about to stick him…

Human: “YOU IS ONE UGLY, HANG-TOOTH MUTHA F—–”
the sentence is cut short by his guts coming through his mouth

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Di11enger

December 13, 2011 at 3:35 pm

Swings Disco Ball attached to Chain at nemisis
“Let’s DANCE”

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J3ST3R

December 13, 2011 at 3:36 pm

Its time for an Ozzy Bogan action hero;
“You the milkman’s son? cause here’s a bottle!”

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PuppyLicks

December 13, 2011 at 3:37 pm

“I put the ‘Whupass’ into ‘I am completely illiterate’!“

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Matty

December 13, 2011 at 3:37 pm

I’ll burn your ugly face off with my own acid.

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Batguy

December 13, 2011 at 3:39 pm

Such a cool comp, such a cool prize!

My phrase is “I’d LAVA to join you, but I’ve got a plane to catch“, in the context of:

——

Arnie and the bad guy have jumped out of a 747 and are locked in a struggle as they plummet towards the crater of an active volcano.

Bad guy: “If I die, you’re coming with me”
Arnie: “I’d LAVA to join you, but I’ve got a plane to catch”

Then Arnie headbutts the bad guy in the nose, deploys his parachute, and gets collected by a supporting fighter jet. The bad continues to fall into the volcano, screaming all the way, and vanishes in a plume of flame.

Arnie: “Looks like all his plans have gone up in smoke”

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Vapor

December 13, 2011 at 3:39 pm

I will kill you, until you are dead.

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Michael

December 13, 2011 at 3:39 pm

“Do you know what the fist said to the face?”

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DunkyF

December 13, 2011 at 3:40 pm

Winning is Simple. Kill Everything else first.

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Rocketman

December 13, 2011 at 3:40 pm

I am the the Oncoming Storm

Reply
1. Rocketman
  
  December 13, 2011 at 3:41 pm
  
  Not original but Doctor who is badass
  
  Reply
Shane

December 13, 2011 at 3:40 pm

“I have an arrow with your knee’s name on it!”

Has anyone done one of these yet? 😛

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The Cracks

December 13, 2011 at 3:42 pm

I don’t care what they are, they can still die.

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Andy Gee

December 13, 2011 at 3:43 pm

I’ma turn that Xenomorph into a Xenocorpse!

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Marky Martin

December 13, 2011 at 3:44 pm

“Hey mate, let me introduce you to my fists:”
Holding up left fist: “Thunder”
Right fist: “Lighting”
“Equals STORM in the face!”
proceeded by a viscous beating!

Reply
Di11enger

December 13, 2011 at 3:45 pm

“what can’t we just chill?”
*throws thugs into Freezing chamber*

Reply
1. Di11enger
  
  December 13, 2011 at 3:53 pm
  
  “you know the best thing about the Armor plating on my hummer?”
  “Its SUPER EFFECTIVE” *Rams Pokemon Hummer Into Badguys*
  
  http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lisep9Ry3a1qeclmuo1_500.jpg
  
  Reply
Tristan

December 13, 2011 at 3:45 pm

I used to be a predator like you but then I took a facehugger to the knee

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Matty

December 13, 2011 at 3:47 pm

You just killed Master Chief. How did it feel? He didn’t say.

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redartifice

December 13, 2011 at 3:49 pm

You’re about to come down with a nasty case of Dead.

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Lone Wolf

December 13, 2011 at 3:50 pm

Over the distinctive whine of a cerebral bore.
“I told you it was a sucky weapon…”

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Brad Done

December 13, 2011 at 3:50 pm

“It may be space, but they’re still gonna hear you scream!!!”

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Jon Snow

December 13, 2011 at 3:51 pm

Whoops, didn’t mean to post it like a thrillion times. It’s coming up on the mobile site as it needs to be checked and not being published oh well DEERRPPPPP!!

Reply
Michael

December 13, 2011 at 3:52 pm

After predator holds up hand blades. I look at blades and smile

“That’s not a knife. THIS is a knife”

Reply
1. Michael
  
  December 13, 2011 at 3:53 pm
  
  *Proceeds to decapitate Predator with a samurai sword*
  
  (I dunno why that line got cut off)
  
  Reply
redartifice

December 13, 2011 at 3:53 pm

In a parachute battle:
*rips off opponents parachute*
NICE OF YOU TO DROP IN
*thug plummets to doom*

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Matty

December 13, 2011 at 3:55 pm

You are one ugly MOTHER F**KER I’ll follow you into your grave. I’ll write my name on your tombstone!!!!!!

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Randomini

December 13, 2011 at 3:55 pm

Aim for my back. I just have a crick there that I just can’t get out.

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False Paradigm

December 13, 2011 at 3:56 pm

The Hero attaches the Villains head to a hydrogen gas cylinder and watches him float up towards the atmosphere. The hero begins to walk away, lighting up a politically correct electric cigarette, believing the job to be done, the bees are safe and the world is once again as screwed up as it used to be. He hears a high pitched voice in the distance. He turns to see the villain somehow holding a revolver even though logic would tell us the Villain did not have a revolver. Anyway, logic aside, along with physics, the hero with faster than light speed flicks the cigarette at the villain’s head. Boom. The hydrogen explodes inside the villains head causing his brain matter to spread out in a giant mushroom cloud which tells us that E=m x ego 2. The heroes sidekick arrives at the last minute, conveniently to pose this question to our indestructible hero.

“What happened to Scorpio (Villains name)?”
“He was feeling a little light headed”
The hero smirks.
Cue Credits.

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nope.avi

December 13, 2011 at 3:56 pm

ain’t got time to bleed?

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VictorT

December 13, 2011 at 3:57 pm

*arnie takes arrow to knee*
‘i ain’t got time to bleed’

(can’t re-write the greatest qoute, just the context)

Reply
oggob

December 13, 2011 at 3:57 pm

Lowlife – Who are you?

Hero – Who am I? I’m from Express Service To Death (ESTD), here to inform you the next service is NOW!!

Reply
redartifice

December 13, 2011 at 3:57 pm

“you may hide behind your gun, but you can’t hide from my fists”

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redartifice

December 13, 2011 at 3:58 pm

“I will break you so bad that I will have to purchase you”

Reply
Ynefel

December 13, 2011 at 3:59 pm

What did the five fingers say to the face? SLAPPPPP!

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N3RD1001101

December 13, 2011 at 4:00 pm

This ain’t your lucky day, scumbag!

(shoots arrow to the knee ¶:Þ )

>>—–|> “AAAAAaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrgggggghhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!”

Reply
Matty

December 13, 2011 at 4:00 pm

Hello. My name is Commander Shepard. You killed me. Prepare to die

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Aaron

December 13, 2011 at 4:00 pm

‘Knife to meet you’

When running around onlyusemblade style

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Randomini

December 13, 2011 at 4:00 pm

Nice hat! Sorry for putting holes in it.

Reply
HotDamn!

December 13, 2011 at 4:02 pm

What…you thought I was here to just play tennis? Shame. And on that note, it is GAME SET MATCH for you, old bean! BLAM! goes my tennis racquet gun

Reply
One_Man_Matrix

December 13, 2011 at 4:03 pm

‘Prepare to be crushed… The opposite of emotionally.’

Reply
Chuloopa

December 13, 2011 at 4:04 pm

OHHH HELLL YEAH!!! THIS IS AWESOME! :p
—————–
A man strides purposefully down a hallway, dressed like Uncle Sam from the massacred site of a Halloween party not two hours ago, aboard science vessel SC-112.
He’s caked in blood – none of it his. Those damned Xenomorphs.. took everyone.
Blood on his hands, paler over the white-tight knuckes clenching the one shotgun he could find in an emergency arms locker.

A noise. Just ahead.
An alien crawls out of an air vent, it’s slick black carapace and elongated head made all the more terrifying when the creature stands at full height.
It lets out an ear-shattering screech in defiance of its meal.

“We don’t take kindly to aliens round these parts” The muscular figure says whilst calmly cocking his weapon. The alien charges. Hunger on it’s mind. 300 pounds of masticating-machine.
A loud BOOM and the alien comes to a running halt, sliding head-first to land at the mans feet.
“Consider your citizenship revoked”

The man spits on the ground and continues on his journey.

Reply
Barton Wolffe

December 13, 2011 at 4:05 pm

Slip slop SLAP! Feel the burn motherf***er

Reply
gunni3

December 13, 2011 at 4:09 pm

After killing the bad guy by throwing on to train tracks.

Damsel in distress: What happened to the bad guy?

Hero: He had a train to catch.

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Craig Barrett

December 13, 2011 at 4:09 pm

“Rest in pieces!”

Reply
Thor24

December 13, 2011 at 4:09 pm

* In preparation for a multi-bad-guy fist fight*

Welcome to the Symphony of Pain and I’ll be your conductor for the evening…

Reply
Chuloopa

December 13, 2011 at 4:10 pm

to alien before blowing off its head:

“Give my regards to Elvis”

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light487

December 13, 2011 at 4:12 pm

“Revenge is a dish best served on a bed of rice.”

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MrTaco

December 13, 2011 at 4:12 pm

“QUICK, YOU GOTTA GET DOWN!” the hero yells in a panicked voice.

The villains look at each other, confused over his apparent concern.

The hero’s demeanour quickly changes as he readies his flamethrower.

“It’s fry-day!”

Reply
Nashmeister

December 13, 2011 at 4:13 pm

Your one butt ugly bastard. Your mother will thank me for killing you.

Reply
Chuloopa

December 13, 2011 at 4:13 pm

After electrocuting the bad guy and untying the “damsel in distress”

Her: What happened to Dr. X?
Him: It was quite a shock. He never knew Watt hit him.

Reply
Letrico

December 13, 2011 at 4:14 pm

So big, so angry, so dead.

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LevonJP

December 13, 2011 at 4:17 pm

“Deport this”

Reply
weaselfeet

December 13, 2011 at 4:17 pm

Prior to throwing InternationalBadDude4 off a balcony
InternationalBadDude4: Hehehehe …. Your laws cannot touch me. I have Diplomatic Immunity!”
Sgt. KnuckleChin: I know a Law that can.
After throwing InternationalBadDude4 off a balcony
Sgt. KnuckleChin: The law of gravity.

InternationalBadDude4 plummets many stories to land on a car, which explodes …. because that’s what they do. During the fall Sgt. KnuckleChin retrieves the rather bent cigarette he has been attempting, and failing, to light for the entire movie from his inner jacket pocket.

Pre 1995 ending: lights cigarette on the ensuing fireball, takes a satisfying drag and walks into the camera-fade

Post-1995: Attempts to straighten out the cigarette, gives up and crushes it in his hand. Throws it over the balcony muttering “Better give these things up before they kill me.”. Offers camera a raised-eyebrow half-smile and walks into the camera fade.

Reply
Angered Catfish

December 13, 2011 at 4:18 pm

Lion-Man:The bigger they are, the harder I MAUL!
“mauls villian”

Reply
juststu82

December 13, 2011 at 4:21 pm

I see you’ve had your eye on me.

Reply
1. juststu82
  
  December 13, 2011 at 4:22 pm
  
  it got rid of my set up, it was supposed to be after he blows up the baddy and his gore rains down on the hero. He says this then flicks an eyeball off his shoulder.
  
  Reply
Ruffleberg

December 13, 2011 at 4:23 pm

*After beating someone to death with a sock full of 50c coins*

“Keep the change”

Reply
1. MrTaco
  
  December 13, 2011 at 5:09 pm
  
  And a happy new year!
  
  *bang*
  
  Reply
GiantDave7

December 13, 2011 at 4:25 pm

After impaling eco-terrorist on broken tree branch on side of the road returns to leggy blond in car:
“His hippy friends have left him hanging”

Reply
Bladewing

December 13, 2011 at 4:25 pm

This bullet has your name on it!!! Wait wrong one maybe this one?!! This one? Damn I’m sorry I’ll have to write u an IOU… On this grenade!!!!

Reply
Cameron Hendry

December 13, 2011 at 4:26 pm

There can be only Three…… Me, My mother, and My therapist

Reply
Matthew K

December 13, 2011 at 4:27 pm

When I’m done with you, archaeologists a hundred years from now will regard what’s left of your remains as an elaborate hoax.

Reply
masha2932

December 13, 2011 at 4:31 pm

Bad Guy: I am the greatest adventurer

*Protagonist stabs him in the knee*

Protagonist: You used to be an adventurer!!

Reply
benanen

December 13, 2011 at 4:34 pm

“I’m going to show you how to do the Safety Dance.” [elaborately flicks off safety on the gun] “You can dance if you want to.” [Aims at the feet] “But you’ll have to leave your friends behind.” [BLAM!]

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Ryan

December 13, 2011 at 4:35 pm

“I’m going to cut all the left side of your body off! Don’t worry, you’ll be all right”

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Campdog

December 13, 2011 at 4:36 pm

I will GFC you

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Chuloopa

December 13, 2011 at 4:38 pm

on a cruise liner thats being hi-jacked.

bad guy knocks good guy down. good guy noticed a emergency flare gun discarded on the deck near him, just out of reach.
Bad guy tries to finish good guy off, but good guy kicks him away and scramble towards gun, picks it up and points it at bad guys.

“Thats what i don’t like about you henchmen, all the same – no flare – let me help you with that”
*shoots flare gun*

Reply
Potato

December 13, 2011 at 4:41 pm

Did I stutter motherfucker? well a bullet sounds the same in every language, so let me speak the international language of fuck you, degenerate cracker ass motherfucker.

Reply
fortalyst

December 13, 2011 at 4:49 pm

Being a somewhat uptight financial consultant working on a space colony I never really considered the possibility of an attack by Aliens with acid for blood or the galactic Predators who hunt them for sport. When the attack on the colony occurred most of my colleagues panicked and fled in all directions without listening to my shouts to follow me toward the security office. The screams that echoed throughout the corridors was blood-curdling but I kept my level head and was able to quickly and quietly rendez-vous with the small 5 man security team. They immediately handed me a pulse pistol which my trembling hands accepted.

We decided to make our way toward the landing dock via the generator rooms in the hopes that we might find an escape pod and flee what seemed to be becoming a massacre in the accounts offices. The noises that we escaped were soon to be replaced with the hums of reactors and coolant pumps and we proceeded slower and with more caution. The escape pods couldn’t be more than another 50 or 100 yards away, so it was better to not call attention to ourselves. As we navigated our way past the reactors and neared the door, three red dots arranged in a triangle appeared in the centre of the back of the unnamed security guard I was following. With a flash of light his torso exploded into flames before my very eyes. There was no attacker in sight and the security team shouted at me to run to the escape pod as quick as I could.

As I fled the sounds of pulse rifles in between the final two reactors I opened the escape pod’s door hid within and watched with horror as I saw the shape of some kind of camouflaged humanoid standing over the final survivor deliver a blast from its shoulder. I glanced briefly at the display panel to see that the preparations were only halfway done and turned back to see this… monster advancing in my direction. Desperation for survival combined with the adrenaline coursing through my veins caused me to raise my pistol and fire several rounds at its camouflaged outline. I was not prepared for the recoil and several of my rounds are fired with hideous accuracy but one shot hit a liquid nitrogen reservoir. Steam almost explodes into the atmosphere as the freezing coolant douses my assailant and freezes it to the spot. It stops its advance as I cast a fleeting look again at the pod’s status again – it’s 80%. Sparks explode from the monster as whatever cloaking device was shielding failed and I see the weapon mounted on its shoulder is clearly broken from the liquid nitrogen and most of it’s body below the shoulders has become frozen, rendering it vulnerable.

As I move from behind the arch of the pod’s hatch frame I raise the pistol and look down it’s sight. The monster turns to face me as I calmly state:

“Looks like your assets have become frozen. Let me liquify them for you.”

I fire the blast to see the monster shatter just before the door closes in front of me. I make my way to my seat & prepare to leave this god-forsaken colony behind me.

Reply
Neon Jackal

December 13, 2011 at 4:53 pm

Alien? More like GAYlien.

Reply
The Insufferable Señor Steengo

December 13, 2011 at 4:53 pm

You’re vile enough to drive a Buddhist to arms, and I’m deadly enough to give cancer a run for its money… when we next meet I’ll be wearing your lower intestine as a scarf and you’ll be wishing your next of kin didn’t have to clean up what I leave behind.

Reply
Mardra112

December 13, 2011 at 4:56 pm

“Hello. My name is (insert name here). You killed my (insert relative/friend/companion here). Prepare to die.”

Reply
Black Dahlia NZ

December 13, 2011 at 4:58 pm

“Take your toy back to the carpet”

Reply
Jijoy

December 13, 2011 at 5:00 pm

Here kitty, kitty, kitty. Meaow. Here Jonesy.

Reply
Jijoy

December 13, 2011 at 5:01 pm

Stop your grinnin’ and drop your linen!

Reply
Jijoy

December 13, 2011 at 5:03 pm

You’re all gonna die. The only question is how you check out. Do you want it on your feet? Or on your fuckin’ knees… begging? I ain’t much for begging! Nobody ever gave me nothing! So I say *fuck* that thing! Let’s fight it!

Reply
Azroth1

December 13, 2011 at 5:04 pm

“The only things your invading is Jack and S**t and Jack left Town!”

Reply
Jijoy

December 13, 2011 at 5:06 pm

Father’s dead, asshole. Intruder on level one. All aliens, please proceed to level one.

Reply
Chuloopa

December 13, 2011 at 5:08 pm

Knocks guy into giant blender
“what’s wrong man? you’ve gone soft!”

Reply
Mark Hanson

December 13, 2011 at 5:11 pm

I’m sorry, I can’t hear what you’re saying because MY FIST IS IN YOUR MOUTH!!!

Reply
Chuloopa

December 13, 2011 at 5:22 pm

Bad guy posing as accountant to high-value business man
“Well it doesn’t look good”
“What is it?”
“well according to this profit/loss statement, you’ve made a loss”
“how much?!”
“Oh… Only your life”
*BLAM*
*takes key to safe*

Reply
Matt

December 13, 2011 at 5:26 pm

Setting the scene: The room is dark, only the glare of the monitor on his face. He is the ‘Tough Guy” Keyboard Warrior.

“Suck on my post noobs”

Reply
Festie

December 13, 2011 at 5:27 pm

I took and arrow to the knee! and I am still a mother f#$&ing adventurer!

Reply
Effluvium Boy

December 13, 2011 at 5:32 pm

(In a restaurant. Arnie is having dinner with damsel. Goon attacks. Arnie drowns goon in his goulash)

“Waiter! There’s a guy in my soup.”

Reply
1. DAN!
  
  December 13, 2011 at 5:43 pm
  
  I don’t geddit.
  
  Reply
2. Effluvium Boy
  
  December 13, 2011 at 5:50 pm
  
  (Standoff in factory – Bad Guy has gun pointed at Arnie. Arnie eyes lever)
  
  Bad Guy: Don’t move! I’ll shoot you right here, I swear!
  
  (Arnie pulls lever and drops to the ground in one motion)
  (Gun fires – Misses)
  (Machinery swings around and diseembowels astonished Bad Guy)
  (Intestines and whatnot flop to the ground)
  
  Arnie: You don’t have the guts
  
  Reply
  1. Effluvium Boy
    
    December 13, 2011 at 6:08 pm
    
    (Newspaper printing press. Arnie and Bad Guy duke it out on catwalk above machinery)
    (Arnie king-hits bad guy, knocking him over the railing)
    (Bad Guy falls into printing press. Screams. Gets munched up)
    (Newspapers churn out, slick with blood)
    
    Arnie: See you in the funny pages.
    
    Reply
    1. Effluvium Boy
      
      December 13, 2011 at 6:12 pm
      
      (Arnie points gun at Evil Pope)
      
      Arnie: Go to Hell (BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!) your Holiness.
      
      (Holes… Geddit DAN! ?)
      
      Reply
Gorzilla

December 13, 2011 at 5:33 pm

“I used to be a sissy like you, then I took an arrow in the knee”

Reply
luverly_5pam

December 13, 2011 at 5:53 pm

Context: After using a Blu Ray copy of Predator as a lethal razor edged shuriken to remove the top part of a foes head:

“I just Blu his mind.”

Reply
penal

December 13, 2011 at 5:56 pm

“say Hi to your mother for me”

Reply
Johnny

December 13, 2011 at 5:57 pm

I like my extraterrestrials like I like my steak, still bleeding.

Reply
Wayne Giovanazzi

December 13, 2011 at 6:15 pm

The hero and bad guy are fighting in a factory that make doors and window frames. After a heated battle the hero is on the ground and the bad guy draws his weapon. The hero looks around for anything that can save his skin. He looks up and there is a giant crate above the bad guy. On the floor next to the hero is a remote control. Quickly he presses the “door release” button and hundreds of heavy wooden doors fall on the bad guy. The hero and his sidekick are walking out of the factory and the sidekick asks “What did you do with the bad guy?” the hero replies:

“I showed him the door…”

Reply
Lord Crumplebottom

December 13, 2011 at 6:22 pm

You don’t know pain. But you’re about to meet it’s uglier twin in about 3 seconds.

Reply
matt8k

December 13, 2011 at 6:29 pm

Pleased to beat you.

Reply
Dr What?

December 13, 2011 at 6:34 pm

*Drops bad guy in to device with choppy blades*

“Dice to meat you, asshole.”

Reply
Fool

December 13, 2011 at 6:50 pm

“Your biggest mistake was getting my attention!”

Reply
Splicer

December 13, 2011 at 6:55 pm

‘When you get to hell, tell the Devil he’s sitting in my seat!’
*edited

Reply
Inanimate Blocker

December 13, 2011 at 7:01 pm

“I give you two choices, one, I shoot you now.
Two, you walk away…”
Predator stands and walks
(Boom!)
“…while I shoot you.”

Reply
Spoons

December 13, 2011 at 7:03 pm

“If you’re wondering how many seconds it will take me to kill you, the answer is exactly” *pulls out golf club* “FOUR!”

Reply
Mitchell

December 13, 2011 at 7:05 pm

“You must be with Vodafone, cause your signal’s about to drop out”

-or-

“I’ve got a new article for you. It’s called, While You Were Sleeping… Permanently”

Reply
nicholasmc1

December 13, 2011 at 7:11 pm

*Shoots and kill single alien
“HAHAHA I squah you like small American bear under foot(In generic Russian accient)”

Reply
Grandmaster B-Funk

December 13, 2011 at 7:28 pm

“say cheese”
*proceeds to grate victims face off with cheese grater*

Reply
Zaidou

December 13, 2011 at 7:38 pm

INT. NIGHT. FEMALE LEAD’S SPA ROOM

Female Lead: Mr Hastings, I must admit that for a Navy Seal, you are full of pleasant surprises. What is it about you that I find so…. irresistable?

Jason Statham: Bullets.

Reply
Samuel Webster

December 13, 2011 at 7:45 pm

Bam! and your life is gone

Reply
Wayno@War

December 13, 2011 at 7:59 pm

Yo Barney – Chips!!!

Gonna gullet fuck ’em with lead!!!

Reply
blackwell

December 13, 2011 at 8:15 pm

Context: The bad guy has retreated into his superweapon, a tank the size of a city block festooned with multiple cannons, rack mounted missile launchers, miniguns and even a couple of flamethrowers.

“I’m gonna destroy you with the one thing every wannabe bad guy forgets to include in their superweapons” *Reveals his secret weapon* “Training Wheels!!!”

Reply
Terence

December 13, 2011 at 8:23 pm

TIME TO DIE …. wait what’s the time?

Reply
Dr_Stef

December 13, 2011 at 8:34 pm

Hey Billy, get me a way out of this office!

Reply
warcroft

December 13, 2011 at 9:11 pm

“Youve got a hole in your shirt.”
“Where?”
*BANG*
“Right there.”

Reply
Daniel

December 13, 2011 at 9:12 pm

Context: Two boats out at sea one full of bad guys (terrorists, drug dealers etc.) and the other with our tough guy, our tough guy is a fair distance from the other boat and is looking at the criminal scum from a distance through binoculars.

He scratches a match on his left cheek and brings the flame to his freshly cut cigar, he takes a couple of puffs and then rolls the cigar between his thumb and his pointer finger.

The small radio at his feet crackles to life and the following transmission takes place.

Boss: Tough guy are you there?

Tough guy: Yeah i am here.

Boss: Whats the situation?

Tough guy: 30 criminals on board, no way to take them in without massive casualties on both sides.

Boss: I see……….

Tough guy: Orders?

Boss: Sneak onto their boat and try to take control….. and the less casualty’s the better.

Tough guy: Consider it done.

The small radio goes dead.

The tough guy moves to the back of the boat and grabs a large bag, he unzips it and pulls out a rocket launcher.

Back at the front of the ship he aims for the boat with the criminals on it and just before he pulls the trigger he says “Sea you around.”

The criminal boat explodes and arm, legs and heads are seen flying and landing all over the sea.

The tough guy sails off into the sunset.

Reply
Spring-Heeled Jack

December 13, 2011 at 9:13 pm

“As Sisyphus said in Hades, let’s roll!”

Reply
GoMad

December 13, 2011 at 9:42 pm

*spear stab up the arse of corrupt coporate executive*

Looks like he’s had a hard day at the orifice.

Reply
fubar

December 13, 2011 at 9:43 pm

To alien:
I’m going to rip your head off, shit down your throat, then use your acid soaked tongue to burn you a new asshole!

PS. (in bob barker voice): now you’ve had enough… bitch!

Reply
Virus__

December 13, 2011 at 9:49 pm

“You’re dead to me, you’re also dead to births, deaths & marriages”

Reply
acex1138

December 13, 2011 at 9:59 pm

Lets see what your brains look like….

Reply
Chuloopa

December 13, 2011 at 10:27 pm

I heard you’re into Xbox? Well when i’m done with you, you’ll just be in a box

Reply
Chuloopa

December 13, 2011 at 10:27 pm

Aftersmashing bad guy face with a hot iron

“How irononic”

Reply
Dysmorphic

December 13, 2011 at 10:56 pm

About to kick evil mastermind out of a hotel window…

“It’s time for you to check out.”

(For added hilarity change the goon’s nationality and hotel location to Czech Republic)

Reply
picky

December 14, 2011 at 12:12 am

ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US

Reply
Mark

December 14, 2011 at 12:34 am

Rest in pieces alien freak!

Reply
Cephalxn

December 14, 2011 at 12:37 am

*six million dollar man noise* SHN NNNN NNNN NNNN NNNN NN

Made while upper cutting some dude and continuing to rocket up and out of the atmosphere

Reply
Anone

December 14, 2011 at 12:50 am

Tough guy’s quote: “One more word from you, I’ll make sure even your grandma can’t recognize you”…….BAMM (punch sound)…..

Reply
Suihaira

December 14, 2011 at 12:58 am

I call shotgun on that Queens head! It’s gonna look so good on my wall.

Reply
weresmurf

December 14, 2011 at 1:01 am

i used to be a Predator like you, but then I took a Plasmacaster to the knee…

Reply
james

December 14, 2011 at 2:04 am

Big boys don’t die.

Reply
Sam Timmins

December 14, 2011 at 3:16 am

So…this is valid due to two games and perhaps an arcade game?

None of which are in the set.

*watches the news dangle by half a thread*

Reply
1. Matthew K
  
  December 14, 2011 at 12:17 pm
  
  So you’re the boss of Allure media? You own Kotaku? You’re saying ONLY stuff directly and 100% related to games can be posted here as opposed to more general content that may appeal to those with an interest in gaming culture? Because it doesn’t say that anywhere else on the site.
  
  Reply
Cameron

December 14, 2011 at 3:16 am

I’m going to shove your friend so far up your arse he will be wearing you as a costume for Halloween

Reply
peter dale

December 14, 2011 at 9:29 am

“THIS is for AVP Requiem!” POW POW

Reply
Matt

December 14, 2011 at 9:53 am

You just got burned with acid.

Reply
TheGuru

December 14, 2011 at 10:03 am

“I’m going to hit you with Little Friend and send you to heaven”

Context would be if Tony Montana had survived the fateful battle at the end of Scarface and in the sequel had Mexicans who were trying to takeover his territory….thats enough of my dream Scarface/Breaking Bad sequel

Reply
HotDamn!

December 14, 2011 at 10:06 am

Oh Snap! Literally…

Reply
mike

December 14, 2011 at 10:14 am

“Yes, That is a gun in my pocket”

Reply
Josh

December 14, 2011 at 10:33 am

You never want to hunt what you can’t kill

Reply
Baron

December 14, 2011 at 12:26 pm

You’re hung like a horse…………sea horse

Reply
Nooby

December 14, 2011 at 12:50 pm

“You have dreads, now you are deads”

Reply
Robert Janssen

December 14, 2011 at 3:09 pm

I’m a crime fighting accountant moments after fighting a battle.

“Well….that was TAXing”

Reply
Chris

December 14, 2011 at 3:19 pm

*kills a guy with a makeshift noose*
“I don’t have time to HANG around!”

*rams a guy’s head into the rotor blades of a helicopter flying over a city”
“He had no HEAD for heights!”

*sicks a pack of rabid dogs on yet another guy*
“He always was popular with the BITCHES!”

BAD GUY: “I’m sure if we put our heads together, we can come to some sort of arrangement”
*Arnie headbutts him to death*
ARNIE: “You were right. Someone get me a fucking aspirin!”

Reply
StewartX

December 14, 2011 at 3:30 pm

“Aliens are like dog poop, the older they are, the easier they are to pick up”

Reply
Ridley200

December 14, 2011 at 9:08 pm

Came here to watch the better man win, huh?

Reply
Stephen

December 16, 2011 at 2:47 am

“Im a retired [insert job] and im here to save my [insert son and or daughter].

Reply

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