Only a couple of competitions left to go in the Kotaku Kristmas Project, but we’re starting to announce some of the winners. First up is the Trine 2 competition!
I have to say — the quality to quantity ration in this comp was as high as I’ve seen. My process is usually this: I go through all the comments and copy and paste my favourites to a shortlist. This time it felt like, more often than not, I was hitting that Ctrl+V/Ctrl+C with wild abandon.
But, anyway, without further adieu — the winrars.
♣TadMod♣ I would have: Gabe Newell – His special power is “Blue-Balling” in which he teases you with something about Half Life 3, but then does nothing to confirm or deny its’ plausibility. My Year 12 Physics teacher – He would begin teaching physics to the enemy, then get side-tacked, talk about his weekend, and bore the enemy to death. The Proclaimers: In case we needed to make an epic journey to fall down at someone’s door. There is no-one else I would rather walk 500 miles with.
Zap Thomas Aquinas – priest powers. Solomon bar Isaac – rabbi powers. Abdul Hadi Palazzi – Islamic scholar powers. Individually, they don’t do much – but when they walk into a bar together, watch out!
Fruitlewp Steve the accountant, with the power to throw unscrunched pieces of paper angrily and with force. (It’s like a tantrum but without the loss of dignity when the piece of paper simply floats to the floor). Martha “Butch” Farthington, an 86 year old ex-boggle world champion with wits so sharp she could slice a man in half with one powerful gaze. She also has lots of spare change to get past any toll booths they might encounter. Hugh Jackman, with the power to make female opponents swoon, and male opponents concede to their wives’ opinions that he is indeed quite manly, giving them a severe reduction in morale, making them more vulnerable to attack. Jackman would be able to handle the majority of opponents, Martha would be the brains behind the operation, and Steve would be able to adequately express the group’s anger whenever something like a troll appears and it’s simply not fair.
Woods Bill Murray and i don’t care who the other two are. It’s Bill F***ing Murray
benanen Gerry Harvey: So that his whining and complaining can act as a distraction to my enemies. Then when he backflips and tries to cash-in on things, my enemies will be clutching their sides with mirth, and I shall pounce. Samuel L. Jackson: Just in case I even get into trouble with gangsters, mysterious briefcases, dinosaurs, Sith, or snakes and need a helping hand. Someone from Switzerland: Since they will be able to deal in multiple languages and multiple currencies. And if there’s ever a debate, they can remain calm and neutral.
As always, here are a couple of my favourites that came close…
ShiggyNinty The power of bacon, power of Jack Daniels and the power of beards. With their powers combined they are the Drunk Bacon God. Crossing the land and covering it in a greasy liquoured up hairyness.
Rocketman I would take Batman, the red power ranger and Celebrity Chef Curtis Stone. Because batman and Red ranger need their grub!
The Insufferable Señor Steengo Gabe Newell, George Broussard and Notch. Their power is to consume the world. I mean literally. And the world is just an entre – they’re still ravenously waiting for the main course.
Swifty How about, like, a fat Norse warrior with a shield to block stuff, a big, burly one with a sword to hit stuff, and a quick, nimble little one to run fast and push buttons? And by their powers combined, they summon Adam Sandler.
Jo Chuloopa – with the power of getting things done. Lamboman007 – with the power to break the world. Sughly – he always delivers.
Chuloopa 1. Detective Frank Drebin of Police Squad – Catastrophic clumsiness and dim-wittedness that always seems to work out in the parties favor. 2. Mr. T – to rap 3. Gobei from Beverly Hills Ninja – Supreme stealth Mr. T would bust out a rap on how the enemy should “respect his mother”, while Frank joins in, popping up in a stereotypical borderline-racist outfit, but promptly destroys half of the PA equipment. In the ensuing confusion Gobei silently takes out all he bad guys, with Frank and Mr.T none the wiser
Blaghman My people would be: Albert Einstein: His power is that he’s dead, and can do nothing! Howard Phillips Lovecraft: Same as above, but he’s Eldritch! An Old Man: He wishes he could be like the other two, and yells at clouds.
Nathan Sooooooo obvious, Tank, DPS and a healer!!!
Congrats to the winners! And thanks for everyone who took part!