Ask Me Stuff

You folks have any burning questions? About anything? This is Ask Me Stuff, which does exactly what it says on the tin. Leave me a question in the comments below and I’ll endeavour to answer it before the day is out.


    Any interest in hiring Kris Straub to be part of the Kotaku team?

    Do you ever see consoles having DRM like PC games? We've already seen online passes become the norm in the last few years. And rumours that the next 360 wont even play preowned games at all. Do you think console games will need to be online all the time in the future? Or that they need to be registered online and only work a certain number of times before the disc is useless? Is that the future of console games?

      I saw a troubling thing on the Vita -- only one person can get trophies for PS Vita games. Dodgy. I think we'll start to see more of these tricky implementations sadly.

        Isn't that because you can only use 1 PSN account on the Vita, and trophies are linked to a PSN account?

    Did you ever hear back from Sony/EA re the Battlefield 3 server issue? Any chance of it getting resolved soon? Or ever?

    Mark I've worked overtime every day so far this year except for eight days. I have lots of flexi time to spend. I have booked the Friday off after Mass Effect 3 has been released to save the galaxy. Sadly some mates (who are also die hard Mass Effect fans who are just jealous) are poking fun at this. Any one liners you or the community can think of to jab back next time the issue is raised over a beer?

      "I would love to stay and chat but I've gotta work on some calibrations".

      Tell them they can laugh it up while you send them hourly spoiler alerts throughout the day.

      Dude, this calls for an office sawn off shotgun meltdown.

      I did this for Skyrim. I copped some jibes, but meh, two of my room mates took the day off too and we all played together in the kitchen. Was awesome.

        And then you booted up Skyrim. HEY-OH!

          Ha ha. We're all a bit sick of it now, but it did take 100+ hours.

    I know you've sworn off doing reviews but if you were to review TAY how would you go about it?

    If TAY was a game would you recommend I buy it?

    Is TAY a 9.3 or a 9.4? I MUST KNOW!!!

      TAY defies all attempts at analysis.

    Do you think removing sexism and misogyny would fundamentally ruin the competitive fighting scene?

      It would fundamentally ruin their ability to be sexist and misogynist and then they would have to accept that they are, in fact, less than perfect as people.

      It would definitely fundamentally change the community as it is now, that much is objective. Whether it would 'ruin' it is subjective. I'm also unsure how this kind of change would even begin to be enacted. Sure, CC can police the tournaments, and even the CC sponsored streams, but how do you enforce it across the whole community?

      NB: Not a fighting game player. I think I played MK for a couple of hours some years ago, but fighting games can rarely hold my interest for multiple hours, if not minutes.

      My thoughts on the whole thing are pretty simple -- idiots all say stupid things to try and justify their stupidity. People don't like to admit they've been idiots.

      Just to be clear on this... I'm referring to the comments made by a Team Tekken member during Capcom's CrossOver event.

      It is meant to be a ridiculous question, with the answer being an obvious and resounding "No".

    Can the Guy who does iPhone games look into Gardens HD - some really dodgy things going on with it.
    Point dependant progression - and points being altered to make you run out of energy just as you are meant to progress to next level making it more likely you will purchase more energy just to progress.
    What I mean is the scoring process adding up at the end of the match is weird.
    Gating the system to have you required to entice others to play the game to progress further.

    I know free games need to have incentive but this one seems to be pushing it a touch.

    A somewhat open question for anyone to jump on.

    Paragon or renegade? And will you be playing through again simply to take the opposite choices.

    I went full renegade on my ME1 and ME2 playthroughs and keep meaning to go back and do a full paragon game. Once I finish ME3, there's a good chance that I'll do that.

      First time through in any 'moral choice' game is always evil for me, followed by a second play-through with the good alignment. Kinda like its always 'go left' if a choice is given in final fantasy (obviously not referring to the new one).

      I'm pretty much a jerk in real life, so I choose the jerk option in every game.

    TAY forum...will it ever happen?

    Also, are you a coffee or tea man? And what is your blend of choice?

      Coffee and tea are for women, children, the eldery and the British. Real men drink PEPSI MAX.

      Please forgive me for the inherent sexism of this comment. I am a competitive video game fighter, you see.

      Not even a forum, just an actual account system would work. I'm tired of having to remember what articles i've commented on to go back and check if anyone's replied to me, and people having to post mass replies in an entire new TAY thread because it's a gamble whether people will actually read it if it's not on the latest page is annoying both for the poster and everyone else.

      I love the TAY community, but keeping up with it week to week is becoming a task so gargantuan I really have begun to decide whether I have the time for it anymore. We made 1400 posts in TAY on Monday alone, IIRC, and as the present system stands, I had to scan the majority of them individually to see if anyone directed anything at me.

        +1 to this - it would be good to find out when people have replied to your comments - hell I don't get to read the site till I get home from work so as it is I'm usually commenting after the article has gone cold :(

        like now for instance...

      We're working on an account system. I think TAY has its own identity. I worry that a forum might remove that.



      The spaceship from Asteroids being pursued by two other spaceships from Asteroids.

      ▲ ▲

      That's not going to work as well as I'd like because of the formatting here, but I think we all know what they say about Triforces :p

        Triforce? I see four triangles.

          It if's aligned correctly, then I see 5 triangles!

            If only I could put "if" and "it" around the right way now! :)

              Very nice work here guys. Suddenly my lame Triforce looks ..well, lame.

    Hi Mark,

    Something I've been waiting all week to ask you, especially given the release date is next week.

    In regards to the Mass Effect DLC controversy, what is your opinion on the way Bioware/EA handled it? Do you think it's fair for them to say "We finished the game 3 months ago, so we started working on DLC, it's free if you buy the expensive game or $10 if you buy the cheaper copy?"... Frankly, to me that just says they want people in the US to pay $60 for the game and $10 day one for extra profit... There is no other explanation, they want extra day 1 profit.

    My second question, if you disagree with Bioware/EA handled it, will you be boycotting ME3 as are several other people (myself included)? This is probably going to be toughest question of the day, everyone loves Mass Effect, I absolutely adore it as well... But I won't put up with being charged $10 on release day for extra story content that is very integral to the overall Mass Effect universe.

      I just don't play or buy DLC content for games. I don't even unlock the extra guns/outfits/bullshit you get for pre-ordering.

      I'm old fashioned -- I like my game to feel like canon and most DLC doesn't feel official to me.

      For that reason I just don't really care about what Bioware does with DLC. I believe it will be mostly extraneous to the main quest, I'm not worried that I will miss out on anything by not playing it.

        I don't touch the cosmetic stuff, but Mass Effect being the story driven game that it is, you can't help but admit the content in From Ashes really deserves to be sold with the game that people purchase, not an extra price tag on launch day.

        How would you like it if you went to buy a new car and they told you you couldn't collect it until you paid them an extra $100 for the passengers seatbelt?

    Any word on when those of us who forked out $350 for a PS Vita will be able to do the completely complicated task of playing the Minis we got via PS+?

    Also, Ginger or Mary Ann from Gilligan's Island?

      I've heard a number of people have had difficulties downloading some stuff for the Vita. I'll see if I can find out some info.

    So apparently Soul Calibur V's character creator can create almost anyone, who do you think should be the first character someone should create? A mascot rival for Ezio maybe?

    Would you buy a Vita in the medium-term and use it regularly? If not, is your current portable/handheld slot held by something else?

    Oh, I just remembered! That Max Payne 3 competition reminded me to ask if there is any news on whether i’ll be getting my prize by any chance? This seemed so long ago:

    ME3 paragon or renegade?

      Paragon... Do the right thing and boycott due to EA demanding more money with story DLC on day 1.

      Renegon. I like to choose the option that seems the most hilarious at the time. That's why I've punched the reporter lady twice.

        I thought that was paragade(paragon mostly, does renegade actions at amusing points(basically whenever the triggery events turn up)). Renegon is primarily renegade options, but for majot plot events(the Rachni, the council, etc.) or for attempting to sleep with someone, you choose paragon options.

    If you had to give up either Videogames, Boobs, or Irn Bru for the rest of your life, which would you choose?

    Alright Mark, if that is your real name.

    Did you ever expect TAY to become, well, what it is now?

    I know the first TAY you posted had a whole 219 comments, ten of which were yours, so did you ever expect it to grow so much? Obviously the switch to unmoderated comments increased the growth rate quite significantly, but still. The thing's massive.

    As a related question, if you had the time, would you still read it? Or are you going to tell us that you only cared about us for our bodies?

      Blaghs, even you and I don't read it all anymore.

        What? Yes I do. I often regret doing so, but it's not like I have anything better to do.

    Serious question: Why do all the best Gaming Journalists seem to be Australian?

    - Brendan Keogh (mainly from critical damage)
    - Yahtzee (probably the best in the world)
    - Katie Williams
    - Laura Parker
    - Marcey
    - Luke Plun-HAH just kidding

    Honestly, apart from some of the Giant Bomb guys, and the occasional interesting articles from the KotakUS people, I haven't seen any real quality pieces from people who aren't Australian. Why is this? Do we just have the right temperament to be good game reviewers? Are we far enough removed from where game production takes place that we can make proper objective judgements?

      Isn't Yahtzee British?

        He lives in Brisbane so I think some people have attempted to claim him as our own. Just like Russell Crowe but without the phone throwing.

          heck, even Mel Gibson was born in New York. i don't think anybody is keeping score.

            We don't try to claim Mel Gibson anymore. America can have him back.

          And for the record, the phone incident was nothing more than an accident, a simple misunderstanding. To be in the wrong place at the wrong time, a victim of circumstance, if you will.

          As someone who used to serve Russ in a similar role as the concierge, I have no doubt that if he did it intentionally, the concierge bloody well deserved it. He was without question the nicest, most gracious, best tipping customer we had. We all loved him.

      This can't possibly be a serious question! I've seen through your clever ruse! Well played!

      I dunno if you guys have heard of him but by far my favourite game reviewer is an ex-pat Rob Cummins (I think he's based in Thailand maybe?) who does those YouTube "Review with Extreme Prejudice" videos where he reviews the game before it's even come out - one of the most genius things to be found on the internet

    Well, sir, there's nothing on earth like a genuine, Bona fide, Electrified, Six-car Monorail!

    What'd I say?


        What's it called?

          Yeah!! Monorail!! I'm doing it right!!

            That's right! Monorail!

              One more time!

                Hip-hip Hooray! It's Monorail !!! Good times!

    Serious question, Mark, I'm not even kidding this time:

    There has been a terrible accident. You were driving home from the Oscars with Billy Crystal and Angelina Jolie when - all of a sudden - the car crashes on Rodeo Drive. And, let me tell you, it’s kind of a mess, if you really want to know the truth.

    The doctors slowly piece you all back together again, but they get all the body parts mixed up. So now you have, like, your head attached to Billy Crystal’s body, but they also gave you Angelina Jolie’s legs. So you’re you - I mean you still have the same head - but you have Jolie’s legs,and Billy Crystal’s body and arms.

    Jon Hamm visits you in hospital and tells you that Mad Men was in fact a documentary and it was all true; he has discovered the secrets of time travel.

    Mr. Hamm says, if you let him have your legs (which are of course Angelina Jolie’s legs) he will let you travel back in time - for one time only - to alter the course of history. After 48 hours, when you get back to Wednesday,Feb 29, 2012 . . . he takes your legs (which are of course Angelina Jolie’s legs).

    You can go back in time - only once - and change anything: Save John Kennedy, Kill Hitler,prevent disaster, invent anything from the future for untold fame,write any song/book/movie, and so on. I mean, the possibilities are endless.

    But, remember this, nothing you do - in the past - will change your involvement in the Jolie/Crystal automobile disaster in the future; that shit happens, I’m not even joking.

    Of course,you can go back in time solely to prevent the car crash, you can simply not get in the car, but nothing you do outside of that moment will change your car crash timeline.

    Do you save yourself? Do you go back in time and just never get in the car with Jolie and Crystal? Your life returns to normal, like nothing ever happened. Maybe, just maybe, you go to the police with your Jon Hamm story.


    Do you give Hamm your legs? (remember: which are of course Angelina Jolie’s legs) Do you go back in time and really make a difference to something of monumental historical significance.

    What historical moment do you forever change?

      I'd go back to just before I read this post.

        interesting answer. Well played. Very good. More vindictive than what I've come to expect from you, Benny. You're a fine gentleman, everybody knows that.

        I suspect you would take Mr. Hamm's offer and use it for something far more altruistic.

        Good day, sir.

          Worry not sir, I'm sure he simply meant that he wished to go back, so that he could see himself view it for the first time. The wonderment, the joy and rapture, oh glorious days, how he wishes he could go through it all again.

            I think that's what he was trying to say. But I really think Benny should use his time travelling powers towards something more constructive.

      I think I've mentioned this before but every time I see your name all I can think is "Smoke me a Kipper, I'll be back for lunch!".

        Bah, quote my defence I'm eating my lunch right now so I kind of had lunch on my mind. :P

          My title is very nautical or of a maritime distinction - exactly as you suggest and I couldn't agree more.

          Whilst kippers are a delicious treat, I do prefer to imagine myself as something more like that of a pirate or a sea captain perhaps!

          Failing that, as I said, kippers are a delicious treat; I'm happy to remind you of something of such a flavoursome and rewarding nature

          Good day to you too!

    Do you think that the mindless parroting of worn-out Internet catchphrases is an adequate substitute for an actual sense of humour?

    Just who did put the ram in the rama dama ding dong?

      was it you?

      Look, we've got your buddy in the next room! He's already confessed to putting the Bop in the Bop shoo-op shoo-op!

      I don't know, but I think it's the same person who makes doves suddenly appear every time you are near.

        *funny story:

        I thought the guy who played Lyckety-Splyt in 8 Mile also played Sergeant Sanborn in The Hurt Locker. But it was actually the guy who Played Papa Doc who would later play Sergeant Sanborn. How about that?

        It'd been so long since I'd seen 8 Mile that I'd forgotten the characters.

          *not actually a funny story.

            I agree. How can you call it a funny story when there was absolutely no pie throwing? I just don't understand your humour. On a related note you've ruined my own name for me, now I have to change it. Look out world, here comes... Mark Serrels 2.0!


Join the discussion!

Trending Stories Right Now