Ask Me Stuff

You folks have any burning questions? About anything? This is Ask Me Stuff, which does exactly what it says on the tin. Leave me a question in the comments below and I’ll endeavour to answer it before the day is out.


    Thanks for running the Battlefield 3 server story the other day.

    Regarding EA's statement: "EA are aware of the Battlefield 3 PS3 server issue and are working hard to resolve it. We will provide an update as soon as possible. We apologise for the inconvenience this may have caused."

    Do you genuinely believe that:

    (a) EA are working hard to resolve it
    (b) That EA will actually provide an update as soon as possible and
    (c) That EA are genuiniely sorry for the inconvenience this has caused?

    Or did you read that, as I did, as basically an attempt to fob you/us off by saying they're doing something about it when they are, in fact, not doing anything and not planning on doing anything?

      I read it as the fob off thing.

      I think the relevant question here is why you haven't asked for more information on The Last Guardian. :P

        This is "Ask Me Stuff", where the "Me" refers to Mark Serrels.

        When Mark runs an "Ask Braaains Stuff" article, then I might consider answering your questions :P

          One of the many reasons why I love reading this guy's comments xD.

          Well played, sir

            More importantly. HAS IT BROKEN STREET DATE YETTTTT!!!!!!!

      I don't know. I honestly don't know. The whole thing about the server company not even being aware of it is worrying.

      If I'm being honest, they're probably working on it. But it might not be the most massive priority for them!

    What are the odds of a ME3 street break, given many aussies are playing thanks to online stuff/possibly mail deliveries?


    An inciteful question, which makes you consider deep elemen- HAH, got it.

    The other week on twitter you said something about not wanting to go to work that day. Do you secretly hate us? :P

      Was about to ask this question haha

      I don't think there is much chance. It's getting a bit late now. Typically these things happen between 2-3, mainly because most stores have the stock by then.

      I think the window of opportunity has passed!

    Can you tell my boss that I need to go home early?

    Can you also tell my local JB hifi to sell me Mass Effect 3 right away?

      What do you do if only one of those occurs?

        Either sneak out of work or sneak into wherever JB keeps their stock.

    Thought I'd get in early before you disappear and ask if there is any news on whether i’ll be getting my prize by any chance? The Rage competition seemed so long ago: Sorry, but it is a burning question! Thanks in advance.

    What was the answer to yesterdays "Remember this?"

      Twas Back to the Future II on Spectrum -- someone got it in the comments.

    Favourite Bill Murray movie; go.

      Stripes or Caddy Shack.

      Caddy Shack has Rodney Dangerfield too.

        I say Rushmore, so fuck you all. Mainly because I'm a massive Wes Anderson fan. Also Mark, I'm bored and hating my job by chilling in the toilet cubicle, what do I do?

          It has to be Rushmore. Although he was great in The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou, as well.

      Man, it's difficult. Groundhog Day would be my call.

      Love Ghostbusters though.

      I'm not a huge fan of his character in Caddyshack.

    Mass Effect. Street date. Break please. Mmmmm...

    Does Miranda play a big role in Mass Effect 3??? I have barely seen or heard anything about her in the game, and I fear she has become a mere cameo character :'(

      I suspect the same, which is a shame because I actually liked her. Mostly because she was voiced by Yvonne Strahovski. A little bit because she was a genetically engineered goddess which I thought made her hot enough for my cut man-shep.

      That said, I went back to Liara in Shadow Broker because I'm feeling the whole Kirk-thing.

      Her voice actress is definitely back, and if you look really closely in the Femshep trailer she is in there. Maybe she's kept hush for spoilers?

        I hope you're right, I pray to god they haven't done a ME2 Ashley/Kaiden scenario. Might have to watch the Femshep trailer again.

        P.S. I accidented the report button on your comment -_-

          That's ok, I do it quite a lot accidentally, it looks so similar to reply!

      Yeah it's weird they went to all this trouble of saying look at these people you recruit in ME2. And by the sounds of it most of them have become minor characters(Since it was too much work to deal with all the different compilation of dead/alive characters is my guess)

    What's your preferred source of emergency cute?

    Any word on when SEGA will be releasing Wonderboy in Monsterworld and Wonderboy 3: Tha Dragons Trap on XBLA/PSN? Havent heard anything since it was anounced, a fair few months ago. Cheers.

      Haven't heard anything -- sorry. These things typically just come out like 'OH IT'S OUT THIS WEEK EVERYONE!'

    Just to add to Mass Effect hysteria: do you think games should be released in retail once it's leaked online for the pirates?

    Can't help but take it as unnecessary punishment when I've purchased the game.

      It would punish some retailers and distribution channels though. I won't judge you if you download the pirated version if you actually pick up the game on release.

      Thom is right -- the supply chains wouldn't be able to keep up. It would be unfair on certain retailers. There's other reasons as well, but I'd imagine that would be the main one.

    You did not answer my question (29/4) of a certain morality perhaps wound too tight inside a parable of science fiction, modern medicine, and the very real secrets of an electronic & 21st century time travel.

    And today a question of life as static projection. Quite simply: What is still-life cinema?

    Hi there. I’m Kipperton Beaumont from the Berkley Union Confidential. And you may well ask: “what is the Berkley Union?” Good question. The Berkley Union is a theatre, a museum, a gallery and my private studio where the door is always open. Welcome.

    Recently we’ve been doing a lot of screen to stage adaptations; Top Gun is our very latest theatrical production.

    In our gallery, behind the theatre, we do what I call “still-life cinema”; it’s almost like a destruction, or a devolution of cinema - a sudden and irreversible rewind, if you will.

    I got the idea when I heard author and raconteur George Plimpton explain how you destroy the thing you love, and what you love - in the end - destroys you.

    And perhaps it is the cinema: a most destructive love of fools and men who dream in moving pictures - rejected screenplays, failed auditions, unfinished reels lost in the very downward spiral’s of life itself adrift.

    Still-life cinema, the static shadow of a moving picture, was created almost as if to imitate Plimpton’s sometimes esoteric and often nihilistic monologue on love bleeding into a chaotic, complete destruction.

    Still-life cinema is single-frame isolation. Still-life cinema is the abandoned drive-in theatre. Still-life cinema is my dream and my nightmare together at last.

    Still-life cinema is broadcast on projection-screen walls throughout the Berkley Union gallery, different movies screening around the clock.

    And, slowly, we are bringing still-life cinema to people electronically via internet powers. People in offices, cafes, warehouses, kitchens, street corners, living rooms and anywhere can enjoy this electric avant-garde future of modern cinema.

    The Berkley Union becomes everywhere.

    To consume a cinema so broken - to drink it up - as to see into the very heart of love’s most destroying tendrils; for lovers of cinema: this is what it feels like when cinema destroys you.

    This is just the very beginning of an electronic Berkley Union. Please - to abandon all hope - enjoy the new wave of still-life cinema.

    As simple as to push the buttons for the “Start Presentation” viewing pleasures and maybe to use your arrow keys or spacebar to progress the story like a digital-man of adventure and curiosity.

    A modern cinema made static like standing still to stop - only for a moment - time & space and perhaps see something, until now, unseen.

    Please enjoy this week’s presentation of Backdraft starring William Baldwin, Robert De Niro and the Kurt Russell.

    Perhaps to see cinema, for the very first time, as the abandoned boardwalk on a broken pier,

    The Berkley Union Presents: Backdraft

    Kipperton Beaumont.

      I googled Still Life Cinema and this is what I got.

    Why did the shepard cross the road to get to get his own blow decoy

    Why did the shepard cross the road toget his own blow up a decoy

    Trying to plan a wedding for October, is $125 per head, not including anything other than the tables, chairs, linen and food expensive?

    I have no idea. For the amount of guests I'm planning that comes to about $10,000, which is affordable for me, but I still worry that's still expensive... I have no idea, I don't get married often :P

      That sounds pretty reasonable, though I don't know the number of guests you're having (a quick calculation suggests 80). I had about 120 at my wedding and it cost somewhere around that $10,000 mark (don't remember exactly but my wife would know).

      Having said that, $125 a head does seem a little expensive, but it depends on the reception place, where it's located, quality of food and service, reputation, surrounding scenery for photo opportunities, etc.

      It's really a question of how long is a piece of string. It really depends on what you want (read: what your future wife wants) and whether you're willing to pay for that.

      That sounds pretty much in line with what my wedding cost a few years back. Of course it depends on what sort of venue you're talking about as to whether or not that's good value for money. Ours was in a nice restaurant, which tends to cost a little more than a hotel or convention centre type venue. But on the plus side, the food tends to be a lot better - we still have people mentioning the food at our wedding reception to us to this day, nearly 6 years later!

      Weddings are mad expensive -- watch out for all those mad hidden costs that just sneak up on -- like the Wedding Dress, make-up, clothes, venue hire (for the actual ceremony), etc.

      Mine's was relatively cheap because we only had about 80-90 guests. Also, my wedding was almost five years ago now...

    Does Allure have any job openings that aren't at a management-level?

      Don't ask me, I wouldn't know! /o\
      Wait, you weren't asking me, were you?

    I downloaded Final Fantasy VII (PSP) on my PS3 but I can't seem to transfer it to my VITA. Any word when the larger PSP catalogue will all be playable on the VITA?


    Did you get that Mass Effect gun out and start making "pew pew" noises whilst pointing at stuff?

      I know this one! What is the reason that Mark was forced to give it away in a competition?

        Sexual harassment. You do not want to win that gun 8)

      I'm too scared to take it out of the box in case I can't get it back in! Man, the iCade was a pain in the arse!

        You may have been trying to get it in the wrong way.

    Do you think you'll end up regretting running a week-long competition which is already onto its seventh page of entries only two hours after it started?

      If it gets to 10 pages I'm just going to kill myself.

    Do you find the lack of patience displayed by the Australian gaming community in regards to release dates unsettling?

      Ordinarily I'd be quick to call gamers entitled whingebags, but worldwide release dates isn't a big ask.

      I do, it means we might become as impatient as Americans who think a game is "too slow" unless you can kill the other player within a second.


      Nah, I understand it. I think I'm too old and jaded to feel that same excitement about new releases though. I can wait a couple of days for new games. That's just me though.

        Maybe I'm the same. I get excited for releases, but I accept the release date as it is.
        People's insistence on street dates breaking demonstrates a lack of maturity, in my opinion.

    Am thinking about getting a Vita and have heard that there is supposed to be only one network for all regions now (i.e. anyone can get games from the Japanese region if they wanted).
    If true, does that mean that we can get stuff that is usually only in the US store/network?
    There are some PS1 classics I'd love to get if possible (like IQ Final)

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