Monopoly gets a World of Warcraft makeover this spring, and when the biggest name in board games meets the biggest name in massively multiplayer PC games, no simple reskinning will suffice. Blizzard has worked closely with Hasbro’s USAopoly artists to create a true Azerothian real estate adventure, and it shows in the colourful numbered pieces of paper players will be hoarding in May.
World of Warcraft Monopoly is essentially a total mod for the legendary game of land-grabbing and house-building. Every aspect has been specifically designed to evoke the spirit of the MMO, from the properties on the board to the Horde and Alliance-themed houses and hotels.
We’re not here to talk about those things, however. Today is all about cash money, the most important resource in Monopoly. Let’s take a look at which iconic World of Warcraft characters were important enough to make it onto the game’s bank notes.
Chen Stormstout – $US1
The Mists of Pandaria expansion brings playable pandas to Azeroth later this year, so the planet’s most popular Pandaren Brewmaster gets a little face time in World of Warcraft Monopoly. The creator of some of the most powerful alcoholic drinks in the game, Chen would surely be honored by having his face on the bill most likely to be stuffed down the undergarments of a mailbox-dancing Night Elf.
Magni Bronzebeard – $US5
Magni Bronzebeard is king of the Dwarves, but he’s still small change as far as World of Warcraft Monopoly is concerned. When Magni takes the field of real estate roll-playing battle it’s hammer time, which is appropriate as he’s worth about the same as M.C. Hammer is these days.
Vol’jin – $US10
Chieftain of the Darkspear Trolls and ruler of the Echo Isles, Vol’jin’s strategic mind and sound advice have made him an invaluable ally to former Horde Warchief Thrall. And by invaluable I mean worth about 10 bucks.
Tyrande Whisperwind – $US20
High Priestess of the Goddess Elune and the highest authority of the Night Elves, Tyrande Whisperwind is no run-of-the-mill pointy ear. She’s the main squeeze of Archdruid Malfurion Stormrage, for crying out loud. She’s one of the most powerful living females in Azeroth, so when she dances on a mailbox she gets twenties.
Sylvanas Windrunner – $US50
And now we have the most powerful dead female in Azeroth, the undead queen Sylvanas Windrunner. Murdered by the Lich King Arthas (who doesn’t get his face on fake money), she didn’t let death hold her back. If that’s not worth $US50 I don’t know what is.
Varian Wrynn – $US100
That’s King Varian Wrynn to you, or Lo’Gosh if you’re nasty. King of Stormwind and military leader of the Alliance, Varian’s been through quite a lot over the course of three real-time strategy games, one massively multiplayer online role-playing game, a comic book series, and several novels. He’s been kidnapped, experimented on, manipulated by dragons, and split into two different versions of himself, one cordial and wise, the other a hot-tempered gladiator.
With that in mind, who knows what nightmarish scenario got him trapped on the face of the World of Warcraft Monopoly $US100 bill? He looks fine, but he’s probably screaming on the inside.
Thrall – $US500
Thrall is the most powerful Shaman in Azeroth and the Warchief of the Horde (currently on break). One of Blizzard’s most beloved characters (and by that I mean beloved by Blizzard), it’s a no-brainer that he’d be the face of the largest denomination of World of Warcraft Monopoly cash. It also makes it perfectly OK to refer to both the character and his voice actor, Blizzard’s Chris Metzen, as “Big Money”.