But the truth, dear readers, the truth is that this couple — this beautiful, radiant couple — is no couple at all. These two ecstatic video gamers died a long time ago. And now they’re in a place that we dare not dream about.
Now they’re in hell.
Your first clue? The background. Black. Pure, unadulterated black, only penetrated by the blue outlines of the boy and girl in front of it.
You know what else is black? Hell.
You know who else is blue? Ghosts.
This is no fun-loving couple. This is a horrible glimpse at the devastating fate of two tormented souls, forced to spend the rest of eternity battling one another on the virtual battlegrounds of Ridge Racer and Twisted Metal.
“But this couple looks like they’re having so much fun,” you might say, your hands quivering in desperation as you pray, wish, hope with all your strength that these two lovely people are as lovely as they seem. “They’re not in hell! They can’t be!”
Oh, how wrong you are.
See those looks of horror? Those stunned visages, pummelled with the realisation that they’ll never escape this eternal prison in which they’re sequestered? Those short shorts?
“What… what is that?” the man asks, stifling a scream. Nothing is recognisable in this place. Nothing is human.
“No,” the woman says, her voice shaky. “Don’t look. Please. Please just don’t look.”
“This… this is true suffering.”
Photo: Arema Foto/Stockfresh)