Backhanded Box Quotes: 'A Steaming Pile Of Mundanity'

Welcome to "Backhanded Box Quotes", a collection of super pissed-off user reviews from people just like you! Whoa, whoa, don't take that personally.

This week's review of measured disappointment and constructive criticism includes condemnation for a widely admired brand in independent games development and sympathy for Hitler.

Minecraft Xbox 350

Released: May 9

Critic: ChodeyMitchell"The only way you would ever enjoy this is if you have never played Minecraft in your life." Score: 2

Sniper Elite V2

Released: May 2

Critic: ApocalypseBrown"Since my last review was deleted due to childish sensitivities and melodramatic over-reactions from amateur reviewers who either can't score games properly using decimal points or believe this game A.I is the second coming, to those professional reviewers who disgracefully rewarded this game a 4 when awarding Ridge Racer Unbounded a 9!" "[T]his is a rental at best though you're welcome to believe the sheep and waste your hard earned!" Score: 6

Critic: ShootTheZombie"I loved shooting a Russian sniper 200ft away from me in the eye." Score: 6.

Fable Heroes

Released: May 2

Critic: S_Jake (Metacritic). "Six words: Like Castle Crashers minus the fun.""If you haven't played Castle Crashers, then download that instead of this steaming pile of mundanity." [Editor's note: That's actually a word.] • "If you have, then go and play it again rather than waste you time with this."

Score: 4


    I don't actually see anything wrong with these quotes?

    Correct me if I'm wrong, but I would hardly describe most of these quotes as 'backhanded'.

    Seems pretty accurate to me.

    What a tard Minecraft on Xbox is awesome fun can't stop playing it . Though I miss the redstone functionality of later updates.
    For it only being 1.6 and port quality its still pretty good.


    Is an Xbox 350 worth more or less than a 360?

    The 350 just doesn't compete with the 360. Especially once you enjoy the full circumferance the 360. The 360 is just an all round better machine.

    Think its time to drop this idea Kotaku. These box quote articles just arent funny.

      All these italics, on the other hand...

Join the discussion!

Trending Stories Right Now