Tell Us Dammit: Cast Your Own 'Game Movie'

Movies adaptations of video games are, without exception, complete garbage — but imagine you could cast the movie adaptation of your favourite game, and choose a director. Who would you go for?

As an example I'll choose Metal Gear Solid...

Director: Quentin Tarantino Solid Snake: Christian Bale Liquid Snake: Christian Bale with a rubbish blonde wig Meryl: Gina Carano Otacon: Daniel Day Lewis Sniper Wolf: January Jones

Etc, etc...

Alright any ideas? You can choose any game you want!



    O block: Danny Devito
    S block: Mary Kate Olsen
    Z Block: Ashley Olsen
    L block: Owen Wilson
    J block: Clive Wilson
    I block: Shaq
    T block: Leonardo Dicaprio

      Direct by Gavin Hood so that someone else can take over the Ender's Game movie.

    I'd like to make a version of the Mario movie with some real Shakesperian actors. Someone like Bob Hoskins as Mario, and maybe John Leguizamo as Luigi. I'd like someone really intimidating as Bowser - I'm thinking kind of like Dennis Hopper in Waterworld. I don't think the whole mushroom kingdom aesthetic would work in the live-action format, so I'd probably modify the plot a bit. Make Mario and Luigi hapless plumbers from Brooklyn, make the mushroom kingdom a sort of cyberpunk land of decay.

    I really think there's only one person who could bring my vision to life: Annabel Jankel, who co-created cult cyberpunk character Max Headroom.

      Dream on, it will never happen.

    I would just re-do Doom... I actually didn't have an issue with Karl Urban (He kinda', sorta' resembled Flynn Taggart), nor the Rock having roles in the original, but it was just such a piece of crap... For my favourite game to be butchered so, I walked out of the theatre with clenched fists, it was just so terrible... Give it a darker theme, maybe Michael Bay could do something with it... Oh, and follow the original freakin' story this time...

    Guillermo del Toro directs Dead Space.

      That is possibly the greatest idea I have ever heard.

      Have you read about Pacific Rim? Sounds like a video game plot. Can't wait!

    Not so much casting by

    Mass Effect directed by Neill Blomkamp

      As long as Sharlto Copley is there to say "Fookin Prawns eh?" or some other space-alien-racist-remark-in-a-south-african-accent, then HELLS YES!

    "Movies adaptations of video games are, without exception, complete garbage"

    I would like to refer you to the Mortal Kombat movie

      I take issue with that line as well and hate how it's still commonly held that all movies based on video games suck and all video games based on movies suck. There have been some fairly decent video game movies out there. I personally rather enjoyed the first two Resident Evil films and the Prince of Persia film. I also didn't mind Doom or, and I know I'm going to get hate for this, the Super Mario film.

        I loved Prince of Persia. Especially the ending.
        And Sheik Amar too.

        I thought all of those films, with the exception of Mortal Kombat were terrible. Prince of Persia may have been passable if the plot made sense. Same story with Doom (I still don't understand how they could fail to follow the plot of a game with only two 'plot points': hell on Mars, stars a marine).

          Prince of Persia followed a similar plot to the original Sands of Time game, except without the sand monsters. It made reasonable sense to me. Certainly the video game movie I've seen with the highest production values, not discounting The Spirits Within. Of course that alone doesn't make it a good movie, but I thought it was well worth the time spent watching it.

          The first Resident Evil was passable, except for the stupid ending. The rest of them were pretty trash though.

          As for Doom, well, that was one of those movies where you needed to leave your brain at the door before you walked into the cinema. If you did that then it certainly isn't the worst movie you'll ever see. Though it did annoy me how they opted to drop the whole teleportation gate-to-hell thing and subsequently changed the monsters from demons to mutated humans.

    The Secret of Monkey Island

    Director Joss Whedon
    Guybrush: Jason Segal
    Elaine: Mila Kunis
    Le Chuck: Zak Galafinakis

      With Joss Whedon directing, the cast would probably be:

      Guybrush: Neil Patrick Harris
      Elaine: Dichen Lachman
      Le Chuck: Nathan Fillion

      Because Joss always seems to use people he's worked with before. Even Enver Gjokaj (Victor from Dollhouse) got a cameo in The Avengers as a cop.

        ......NPH would be an awesome Guybrush. I don't know why I've never thought of it before.

      There was a monkey island movie planned and penned. The script eventually became Pirates of the Caribbean.

      True story bro.

    Cool, no one's done it yet so I'll do the cliche:

    Uncharted: Drake's Fortune
    Starring Young Nathan Fillion as Nathan Drake!
    Bruce Campbell as Victor Sullivan!
    and Emily Rose as Elena Fisher, because I have no imagination!

    Directed by Steven Spielberg stolen via a timerip from 1980! Produced by pre-Return of the Jedi George Lucas!

    Waterworld 2: The Wind Waker, starring Michael Cera.

      With Chris Rock as the wise-cracking King of Red Lions

    Joss Whedon writes/directs Uncharted, with Nathan Fillion as Drake. Think of all the funny one liners and witty come backs to be had!

    Morrowind! Enough there for an exploration of so many themes, divinity, cultural clash, the relationship of the West vs the East & cultural imperialism. Make it gritty & cast David Bowie as Vivec!

      Crazy as it seems, Bowie would probably do a decent Vivec.

    War - Viggo Mortensen (or Chris Hemsworth?)
    Watcher - Andy Serkis/Mark Hamill
    Uriel - Charlize Theron
    Ulthane - Ray Winston
    Vulgrim - John Malkovich
    Abaddon - Jeff Bridges
    Samael - Keith David

    Geoffrey Rush as the ghost pirate LeChuck.

    Idk about the rest :P

    Really I've considered so many games from my past to become movies.

    How about ONE MUST FALL 2097.

    Don't even care what actors, it's Mortal Kombat with robots.

    Alex Kidd in Miracle World:
    Directed by Quentin Tarantino
    Alex - Robert Downey Junior
    Prince Egle - Jude Law
    Shop Assistant - Michael Gambon
    Sora - Scarlett Johansson
    Queen Patricia - Judy Dench
    Saint Nurani - Maggie Smith
    High Stone - Alan Rickman
    Janken - Jeff Bridges

      This is possibly the greatest thing I have heard since the devs of Katawa Shoujo listed their top picks for a movie adaptation as follows;
      Hisao - William Shatner
      Lilly - Morgan Freeman
      Rin - Ian McKellen
      Emi - Patrick Stewart
      Shizune - Christopher Lee
      Hanako - Sean Connery
      Misha - Clint Eastwood
      Kenji - Bill Murray

    Peter Jackson's The Legend of Zelda.
    Music by Ennio Morricone.
    Orlando Bloom as the Hero of Time / Link
    Zelda Williams as Princess Zelda
    Cate Blanchett / Lix Tyler as Golden Godesses / Great Fairies
    Christopher Lee / John Noble / I an McKellen as Sages
    Viggo Mortessen as Kakariko village elder / Renado
    Andy Serkis as Ganon/incarnations / Gorons

    Joss Whedon to direct all the movies for all the things. As many Whedonite actors as possible.


    Uncharted: Drake's fortune:
    Directed by Neil Burger
    Nathan Drake - Bradley Cooper
    Elena Fisher - Scarlett Johansson/Elisha Cuthbert
    Victor Sullivan - Bruce Campbell/JK Simmons
    Atoq Nacarro - Robert Downey Jr. (he's good at accents & has the look.)
    Whoever plays Gabriel Roman & Eddy Raja in the below trailer...

    I found an awesome 'fanmade' trailer, which shows some of my casting choices:

    Bioshock movie with Leonardo Dicaprio as Jack.

      Leo's already been to the bottom of the ocean as a character called Jack!

    Robert Downey Jr. as Adam Jensen.

    Alan Wake- Edward Norton(Fight Club)
    Alice Wake-Carey Mulligan (Drive)
    Barry Wheeler-Bill Murray(Lost in Translation)
    directed by Chris Nolan

      If you wanted to do an Alan Wake movie, short of getting Ilka Villa english lessons, get Jake Gyllenhaal. Don't beleive me?[email protected]@._V1._SY314_CR12,0,214,314_.jpg

        "Referral denied."

    Can we all just admit the only person playing Elena Fisher in an Uncharted Movie would be Emily Rose?

    Deus Ex - Directed by Chirstopher Nolan
    Music - The same composers! Don't change the music!

    Actors not really sure but you would need a very cersatile actor in the lead as JC Denton as they should technically also play Paul Denton. They would also need to be versatile to play a lead characte that displays next to no emotion. :P

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