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Movies adaptations of video games are, without exception, complete garbage — but imagine you could cast the movie adaptation of your favourite game, and choose a director. Who would you go for?
As an example I’ll choose Metal Gear Solid…
Director: Quentin Tarantino
Solid Snake: Christian Bale
Liquid Snake: Christian Bale with a rubbish blonde wig
Meryl: Gina Carano
Otacon: Daniel Day Lewis
Sniper Wolf: January Jones
Etc, etc…
Alright any ideas? You can choose any game you want!
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Tetris:
O block: Danny Devito
S block: Mary Kate Olsen
Z Block: Ashley Olsen
L block: Owen Wilson
J block: Clive Wilson
I block: Shaq
T block: Leonardo Dicaprio
I’d like to make a version of the Mario movie with some real Shakesperian actors. Someone like Bob Hoskins as Mario, and maybe John Leguizamo as Luigi. I’d like someone really intimidating as Bowser – I’m thinking kind of like Dennis Hopper in Waterworld. I don’t think the whole mushroom kingdom aesthetic would work in the live-action format, so I’d probably modify the plot a bit. Make Mario and Luigi hapless plumbers from Brooklyn, make the mushroom kingdom a sort of cyberpunk land of decay.
I really think there’s only one person who could bring my vision to life: Annabel Jankel, who co-created cult cyberpunk character Max Headroom.
I would just re-do Doom… I actually didn’t have an issue with Karl Urban (He kinda’, sorta’ resembled Flynn Taggart), nor the Rock having roles in the original, but it was just such a piece of crap… For my favourite game to be butchered so, I walked out of the theatre with clenched fists, it was just so terrible… Give it a darker theme, maybe Michael Bay could do something with it… Oh, and follow the original freakin’ story this time…
That is possibly the greatest idea I have ever heard.
Have you read about Pacific Rim? Sounds like a video game plot. Can’t wait!
As long as Sharlto Copley is there to say “Fookin Prawns eh?” or some other space-alien-racist-remark-in-a-south-african-accent, then HELLS YES!
“Movies adaptations of video games are, without exception, complete garbage”
I would like to refer you to the Mortal Kombat movie
I take issue with that line as well and hate how it’s still commonly held that all movies based on video games suck and all video games based on movies suck. There have been some fairly decent video game movies out there. I personally rather enjoyed the first two Resident Evil films and the Prince of Persia film. I also didn’t mind Doom or, and I know I’m going to get hate for this, the Super Mario film.
I thought all of those films, with the exception of Mortal Kombat were terrible. Prince of Persia may have been passable if the plot made sense. Same story with Doom (I still don’t understand how they could fail to follow the plot of a game with only two ‘plot points’: hell on Mars, stars a marine).
Prince of Persia followed a similar plot to the original Sands of Time game, except without the sand monsters. It made reasonable sense to me. Certainly the video game movie I’ve seen with the highest production values, not discounting The Spirits Within. Of course that alone doesn’t make it a good movie, but I thought it was well worth the time spent watching it.
The first Resident Evil was passable, except for the stupid ending. The rest of them were pretty trash though.
As for Doom, well, that was one of those movies where you needed to leave your brain at the door before you walked into the cinema. If you did that then it certainly isn’t the worst movie you’ll ever see. Though it did annoy me how they opted to drop the whole teleportation gate-to-hell thing and subsequently changed the monsters from demons to mutated humans.
The Secret of Monkey Island
Director Joss Whedon
Guybrush: Jason Segal
Elaine: Mila Kunis
Le Chuck: Zak Galafinakis
With Joss Whedon directing, the cast would probably be:
Guybrush: Neil Patrick Harris
Elaine: Dichen Lachman
Le Chuck: Nathan Fillion
Because Joss always seems to use people he’s worked with before. Even Enver Gjokaj (Victor from Dollhouse) got a cameo in The Avengers as a cop.
There was a monkey island movie planned and penned. The script eventually became Pirates of the Caribbean.
True story bro.
Cool, no one’s done it yet so I’ll do the cliche:
Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune
Starring Young Nathan Fillion as Nathan Drake!
Bruce Campbell as Victor Sullivan!
and Emily Rose as Elena Fisher, because I have no imagination!
Directed by Steven Spielberg stolen via a timerip from 1980! Produced by pre-Return of the Jedi George Lucas!
Joss Whedon writes/directs Uncharted, with Nathan Fillion as Drake. Think of all the funny one liners and witty come backs to be had!
Morrowind! Enough there for an exploration of so many themes, divinity, cultural clash, the relationship of the West vs the East & cultural imperialism. Make it gritty & cast David Bowie as Vivec!
Darksiders:
War – Viggo Mortensen (or Chris Hemsworth?)
Watcher – Andy Serkis/Mark Hamill
Uriel – Charlize Theron
Ulthane – Ray Winston
Vulgrim – John Malkovich
Abaddon – Jeff Bridges
Samael – Keith David
Really I’ve considered so many games from my past to become movies.
How about ONE MUST FALL 2097.
Don’t even care what actors, it’s Mortal Kombat with robots.
Alex Kidd in Miracle World:
Directed by Quentin Tarantino
Alex – Robert Downey Junior
Prince Egle – Jude Law
Shop Assistant – Michael Gambon
Sora – Scarlett Johansson
Queen Patricia – Judy Dench
Saint Nurani – Maggie Smith
High Stone – Alan Rickman
Janken – Jeff Bridges
This is possibly the greatest thing I have heard since the devs of Katawa Shoujo listed their top picks for a movie adaptation as follows;
Hisao – William Shatner
Lilly – Morgan Freeman
Rin – Ian McKellen
Emi – Patrick Stewart
Shizune – Christopher Lee
Hanako – Sean Connery
Misha – Clint Eastwood
Kenji – Bill Murray
Peter Jackson’s The Legend of Zelda.
Music by Ennio Morricone.
Orlando Bloom as the Hero of Time / Link
Zelda Williams as Princess Zelda
Cate Blanchett / Lix Tyler as Golden Godesses / Great Fairies
Christopher Lee / John Noble / I an McKellen as Sages
Viggo Mortessen as Kakariko village elder / Renado
Andy Serkis as Ganon/incarnations / Gorons
Joss Whedon to direct all the movies for all the things. As many Whedonite actors as possible.
WHEDON ALL THE THINGS
Uncharted: Drake’s fortune:
Directed by Neil Burger
Nathan Drake – Bradley Cooper
Elena Fisher – Scarlett Johansson/Elisha Cuthbert
Victor Sullivan – Bruce Campbell/JK Simmons
Atoq Nacarro – Robert Downey Jr. (he’s good at accents & has the look.)
Whoever plays Gabriel Roman & Eddy Raja in the below trailer…
I found an awesome ‘fanmade’ trailer, which shows some of my casting choices: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mSYM9kiVrMc
Alan Wake- Edward Norton(Fight Club)
Alice Wake-Carey Mulligan (Drive)
Barry Wheeler-Bill Murray(Lost in Translation)
directed by Chris Nolan
If you wanted to do an Alan Wake movie, short of getting Ilka Villa english lessons, get Jake Gyllenhaal. Don’t beleive me?
Can we all just admit the only person playing Elena Fisher in an Uncharted Movie would be Emily Rose?
Deus Ex – Directed by Chirstopher Nolan
Music – The same composers! Don’t change the music!
Actors not really sure but you would need a very cersatile actor in the lead as JC Denton as they should technically also play Paul Denton. They would also need to be versatile to play a lead characte that displays next to no emotion. 😛
Professor Layton was a good video game movie! The english version had some terrible voice acting but the japanese one was really really good! If you can watch it with subtitles, do it!
Infamous
Haven’t thought about director, maybe the guy that filmed chronicle. For Cole I would have Sam Worthington or Ben Foster and for Zeke I would have Kurt Russel.
Now see that there is a good game IP to give to that guy to direct. Giving him Shadow of the Colossus (which is what Sony have just done) is a terrible idea on a number of levels
Yay! No-one has mentioned this.
ASSASSIN’s CREED
Prob based on Ezio only, not so much Altair.
Director: Zack Snyder (300)
Ezio : Scott Adkins (assassination games)
His mother: Carie Anne Moss (Matrix)
His father: Vincent Regan (captain from 300)
His sister: ah what the hell, EMILY ROSE.
Jason Statham in there somewhere. And Michael Fassberner too. (not sure what parts but they’ll be good) That’s about all I can conjure at the moment.
Time to beat you at your own game Serrells!
Metal Gear Solid
Solid Snake: Nicholas Cage
Liquid Snake: Nicholas Cage
Meryl: Nicholas Cage
Otacon: Nicholas Cage
Sniper Wolf: Nicholas Cage
Director: Nicholas Cage
MOVIE OF THE FOREVER.
Wind Waker
Link – Bill Cosby
Zelda – Susan Sarandon
Ganon – Jack Black
King of Red Lions – Rob Schnieder
Directed By – Peter Jackson
Running Time: 900 Hours
Half Life:
Gordon Freeman – Edward Norton
Barney Calhoun – Christian Bale
GMAN – Half Tempted to say Steve Buscemi
and then assorted extras.
I think I can help with the assorted Extras…
Eli Vance: Morgan Freeman
Alyx Vance: Rosario Dawson
I’d like to see a Resistance movie.
Directed by Neil; Blomkamp (District 9)
Nathan Hale: Michael Fassbender
He’s pretty much the only person in it.
Various Chimera can be played by Justin Bieber, Rebecca Black, and Chelsey Handler, and it would be rated “R”. with “High Impact Violence”.
Manhunt.
Writer – Original rockstar writers over seen by robert rodriguez
Director – Sylvester Stallone (because rambo 4 had epic violence)
Cash – Mickey Rourke with a shaved head
Starkweather – Keep it as brian cox, loved his voice in that.
Also, I cant believe no one has said hayter as snake, that seems obvious to me, same story with hitman movie, I dont understand why they didnt use timothy olyphant, he was the voice and character model plus he is a well known actor. Stupid hollywood.
Shadowman.
Directed by – Someone Cool and hip and now.
Mike ; Anyone BUT Vin Deisel.
Jaughty – the voice of Jim Carrey.
And other people staring as other characters.
It’s so clear i can see it all now.
http://www.joesdaily.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/ted-movie.jpg
There’s Mike and his brother’s teddy bear right there.
Just a quick comment. Why would anybody make something that can actually be better than most movies into a lesser version of the the story, characters etc. If its a great game it does not need to be made into a movie. There are only a handful of directors who could do it.
Ratchet & Clank.
Directed by Brad Bird.
All the current voice talent.
Pixar, you can do it!
Pretty much the ONLY director should be Uwe Boll. No one has done more games-to-movies than him. His experiance alone guarentees awesomeness!!
Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune
Director: Edgar Wright
Drake – Christopher Pine
Sully – Christopher Plummer
Elena – Amy Adams
Roman – Arliss Howard (That asshole english In-gen guy from the Lost world)
Navarro – Gael Garcia Bernal
Eddy – John Leguizamo
i would do cod black ops zombies
Edward Richtofen- Johnny Depp
Tank Dempsey-Tom Cruise
Nikolai Belinski-Jim Carrey
Takeo Masaki-Ben Stiller
this would obviously be a total comedy and possibly be sued in production but just think about the epic laughes involved
-THE HYDRA
Oh i forgot the director! obviously Tim Burton because of his amazing past experience and amazing abilities!
-THE HYDRA
Tim Burton’s Limbo
Staring – Macaulay Culkin
Writer and Producer – Tim Burton
Music – Danny Elfman
Directed by – Matt Stone and Trey Parker
Oh man! Just think how good it would be to see that little snot die again and again and again in ever more inventive and hillarious ways!
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