Those civilians. They’re all just… sitting there. You know what else is sitting there? Your dark, murderous id. Time to go to town.
The number of video game “massacre” is simultaniously troubling, fascinating and entertaining. Seriously. Just go to YouTube, type in the game’s name along with the word “Massacre”.
Red Dead Redemption: “Dastardly Massacre”
This first one comes from a gamer who decided to go all out in pursuit of the “Dastardly” achievement, which is given for tying a woman up and letting a train run her down (presumably while twirling your mustache and acting like a silent-film villain.)
But it’s one thing to let a woman get killed by a train (yes, I have “earned” this achievement, and yes, I felt really weird about it afterwards), but it’s another entirely to go as far as this guy goes — watch the video, you’ll see what I mean.
GTA 4: “Hospital Shootout”
This one falls under the category of the weirdly artful video, as it’s been artfully cut together with music to depict the weird hospital slaughter more… creatively? These types of videos are both more interesting and more messed-up than the standard videos.
Fallout 3: “Massacre At Tenpenny’s”
Now, the massacre at Tenpenny’s was part of the story, depending on the choices you made. But all the same, I don’t think… it really went down quite like this. For a guy in a furry hat wearing sexy sleepwear, this guy sure has a good plan of attack.
“Let The Bodies Hit The Floor”
Man, creepiest beginning to a massacre video ever? Maybe.
GTA San Andreas: “Minigun Massacre”
The title says it all, really. One of the most memorable games in which to go on a rampage, especially with the hilariously overpowered minigun. Gimp suit is optional, but recommended.
Saints Row The Third: Chainsaw Massacre”
Considering the fact that Saints Row: The Third is basically just one huge massacre all the time, it’s fitting that there are a ton of massacre videos from the game. This one seems most worth sharing, mostly because of all the games that allow chainsaws, the Saints Row one looks coolest.
There are so many more — that’s but a sampling. And of course, it’s not just Rockstar games — plenty of people have gone on killing sprees in other games, from Fallout 3 to Saints Row.
I’m not quite sure what it is that compels people to make massacre videos and upload them — no more than I am sure what it is that inspires us to go on virtual killing sprees in general. It was certainly much easier in older GTA games than it was in later games, mostly because the cops in GTA IV or Red Dead Redemption were much more lethal to your character.
For my part, one of my favourite things to do in Grand Theft Auto IV is do my whole no minimap thing, attract the attention of the cops, and then… just run. I run as long as I can, and try to stay alive (and moving) as long as possible.
Usually it involves alleyways — the alleys in GTA IV almost never dead-end, so as long as you can get into one, you’ll never be truly cornered. You’d be surprised how long you can stay alive, even with the highest wanted level.
Think of it as sort of a reverse-massacre… it’s a whole lot of fun, though I doubt it’d make for a particularly entertaining YouTube video.