Backhanded Box Quotes: 'Gears Of War With Normal Size People.'

Welcome to "Backhanded Box Quotes," a collection of super pissed-off user reviews from people just like you! Whoa, whoa, don't take that personally.

Inversion

Released: June 5.

Critic: JayDeth (Metacritic) • "[S]ome things explode and suddenly your playing Gears of War with normal sized people. Yay?""[V]ery very bland and no one will ever remember it come next month." Score: 4.

Critic: bomber214 (Amazon) • "... an amateur cut-rate attempt at Gears of War.""I know many people get bent out of shape at reviews from people who haven't completed the game. I very seriously doubt I will bother to play much further." Score: 2 stars.

Lollipop Chainsaw

Released: June 12

Critic: jdogginess (Metacritic)

"if you just need to rub one out to a cheerleader in a video game because you feel guilty surfing porn, you might score this a 6 or 7. Otherwise you will think it a 2." Score: 2.

Critic: Billionaire (Amazon) • "Lollipop Chainsaw belongs in a bargain bin for $US5 or maybe just $US1.""If you want a great zombie game, wait for Black Ops II." Score: 1 star.

Critic: ECAstu (Amazon)

"I'll say this, at least it's different. It's not a sequel or call of duty." Score: 2 stars

Backhanded Box Quotes will be an occasional feature of Kotaku's Anger Management hour, unless it isn't.


Comments

    "super pissed-off"

    “I’ll say this, at least it’s different. It’s not a sequel or call of duty.”

    Seriously... These are valid freaking reviews. If you're going to keep making this stupid article, why don't you actually put in some entertaining quotes, instead of just observations of a certain game?

    If I was clever enough to have come up with the quote (below) I would have made one alteration:

    • “if you just need to rub one out to a cheerleader in a video game because you feel guilty surfing porn, you might score this a 6 or 7. Otherwise you will think it a 2.”
    Score: 7.

    Yeah this article is stupid. I think Kotaku is running low on content, there are so many deadshit articles like this and painfully dull articles that hardly have anything to do with games. i.e cocaine found in Xbox360.

    I used to really like this site but I'm seriously having second thoughts. So many dull articles and eye rolling attempts at being "funny" by the writers.

      every gaming website has articles like this

        I'm sorry, but generally, no, they don't.

      I don't disagree, but personally I think it's fair enough for a Sunday - most websites post filler over the weekend.

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