Backhanded Box Quotes: ‘Gears Of War With Normal Size People.’

Welcome to “Backhanded Box Quotes,” a collection of super pissed-off user reviews from people just like you! Whoa, whoa, don’t take that personally.


Released: June 5.

Critic: JayDeth (Metacritic)
“[S]ome things explode and suddenly your playing Gears of War with normal sized people. Yay?”
“[V]ery very bland and no one will ever remember it come next month.”
Score: 4.

Critic: bomber214 (Amazon)
“… an amateur cut-rate attempt at Gears of War.”
“I know many people get bent out of shape at reviews from people who haven’t completed the game. I very seriously doubt I will bother to play much further.”
Score: 2 stars.

Lollipop Chainsaw

Released: June 12

Critic: jdogginess (Metacritic)

“if you just need to rub one out to a cheerleader in a video game because you feel guilty surfing porn, you might score this a 6 or 7. Otherwise you will think it a 2.”
Score: 2.

Critic: Billionaire (Amazon)
“Lollipop Chainsaw belongs in a bargain bin for $US5 or maybe just $US1.”

“If you want a great zombie game, wait for Black Ops II.”
Score: 1 star.

Critic: ECAstu (Amazon)

“I’ll say this, at least it’s different. It’s not a sequel or call of duty.”
Score: 2 stars

Backhanded Box Quotes will be an occasional feature of Kotaku’s Anger Management hour, unless it isn’t.

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