Welcome to "Backhanded Box Quotes," a collection of super pissed-off user reviews from people just like you! Whoa, whoa, don't take that personally.
Released: June 5.
Critic: JayDeth (Metacritic) • "[S]ome things explode and suddenly your playing Gears of War with normal sized people. Yay?" • "[V]ery very bland and no one will ever remember it come next month." Score: 4.
Critic: bomber214 (Amazon) • "... an amateur cut-rate attempt at Gears of War." • "I know many people get bent out of shape at reviews from people who haven't completed the game. I very seriously doubt I will bother to play much further." Score: 2 stars.
Released: June 12
Critic: jdogginess (Metacritic)
• "if you just need to rub one out to a cheerleader in a video game because you feel guilty surfing porn, you might score this a 6 or 7. Otherwise you will think it a 2." Score: 2.
Critic: Billionaire (Amazon) • "Lollipop Chainsaw belongs in a bargain bin for $US5 or maybe just $US1." • "If you want a great zombie game, wait for Black Ops II." Score: 1 star.
Critic: ECAstu (Amazon)
• "I'll say this, at least it's different. It's not a sequel or call of duty." Score: 2 stars
Backhanded Box Quotes will be an occasional feature of Kotaku's Anger Management hour, unless it isn't.