Fake Gamer Of The Week: Don’t Laugh, She Never Learned How To Use A Couch

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Fake Gamer Of The Week: Don’t Laugh, She Never Learned How To Use A Couch


She’s a model. She’s a gamer. She’s a nuclear physicist. She’s an incredibly accomplished young woman. She just never learnt how to sit on the couch.

It’s not her fault. The youngest daughter in a family of professional stock photo models, growing up surrounded by flashbulbs and fashion doesn’t afford one many opportunities to sit on the couch like a normal person. Decorated by the most accomplished avant-garde designers to maximise feng shui, ergonomic sitting spaces were the order of the day. The couch, as you and I know it, did not exist in her world.

The lifestyle was stifling, so she broke free. She went to college and earned a doctorate in physics. She bought a PlayStation 2, got into poker and half-heartedly eating pizza.

She purchased a couch.

Come on, give her a little credit. At least she’s trying.

She’s even managed to recruit her identical sisters to her rebellious cause. While they share her inability to sit properly, they’ve mastered playing poker and puffing away at an unlit hookah.

And would you look at that! With her sisters pinning her legs behind their backs, she’s actually managed a sitting position! Let the pride of that triumphant shout wash over you. Imagine the scene playing out in slow motion with the theme song from Chariots of Fire playing in the background. One can almost make out a cheering crowd in the blank space over their heads.

Now all she has to do is maintain that pose when they leave, and she’ll be a couch novice no longer!

*sigh*

Photos: Jeff Thrower/Shutterstock

Comments

    • It’s a hookah, for smoking flavoured tobacco. Of course.. I’ve never actually seen anyone on the face of the Earth use one indoors (those things create a lot of smoke) and as mentioned, it’s not even lit.

        • It’s non-tobacco herb soaked in flavoured molasses.. Triple apple flavour is rad, alot of arab restaurants have th em & the porn shops in canberra

        • I haven’t seen one since Jabba the Hutt in Return of the Jedi…

          “http://katelynnpamplin.files.wordpress.com/2011/12/jabba.jpg”

      • A friends father had one of those when I was a kid. When I was in high school his older brother used it for weed. I’ve only ever thought of them as an overly complicated bong ever since.

  • what are thease shots for anyway?…

    ….she looks like shes going to fall face first onto the carpet

  • Ah yes, the Olivia “Epic… Epic for the win” Munn school of incredibly fake gamer girls pandering to nerds.

    I do love the dripping sarcasm in the post though. “Look! I’m a cute girl who likes games! Of course, I’m splayed out in a way that makes it painfully obvious that neither I, nor this photographer actually know how normal people look while playing games.”

    Not even sure what Kardashian Sister #3 is doing on the right there. Her tax returns? Looking at a lottery ticket? Pregnancy test?

    • you’ll be surprised at how easy obnoxious dumb shirts are to find

      but a decent gaming one in female size? *snrrrk* good luck with that

  • Can’t we just have a crank to these girls and not ask any questions or cast dispersions on its authenticity?

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