Alright folks — thanks for coming. This is the Kotaku Australia Liveblog for the Microsoft E3 conference 2012. It will mostly be a live account of my descent into madness, but also — videogames. Hopefully new ones and other surprises if possible. We also have the conference stream embedded, so come on in!
This is the housecoat I’m currently wearing. It is very comfortable thank you.
This is how I live my life to the max!
Also, it looks like some of the Kotaku community may be doing live commentary! Check it out here!
Alright folks. Time to strap into that hype train. Prepare for disappointment and hope for a pleasant surprise! Where we’re going, we don’t need roads, etc.
Hi everyone. How are we all feeling? Awake? Tired? Wired? Sired? Fired? Mired?
I’m a little bit jittery. Too much Pepsi Max. Heart rate currently sitting at (checks fake watch) 143BPM. Let’s do this thing!
Sup Geoff. Looking sharp. Not too sure about that tie though.
Well, it seems as though we’ve got some time to kill. What is your current caffienated drink of choice for this morning? Mine’s, of course, is Pepsi Max. Because when I need that extra kick, I like to take it the Max.
Pepsi Max. Live life to the Max.
Geoff made the worst body is ready joke ever! BOO THIS MAN.
(Heart rate currently 178BPM)
I also have chocolate. I’m about halfway through the massive block pictured above. Also, I have leg cramps. THIS BETTER BE GOOD MICROSOFT.
I’ll ask another question, and why not. What are we all looking forward to? Sleep? Video games?
Haha! Kevin Smith just made a reference to Class A drugs. This is good stuff. Gold Jerry. Gold.
Oh gawd, it’s Snoop-dizzle doing some sort of voice over thing for the new Tekken Tag Tournament. Snoop! I loved you in that movie!
E3 prediction — someone will do a bad moonwalk. Make it so.
Oh god, this guy is talking numbers already. BOO THIS MAN.
(Actually, I really like numbers. I just want to be cool. Man, massive Minecraft numbers.)
No no no. I have a freakin’ Scottish accent. Voice control. Go away. Go away. Especially in a football game! Bloody hell!
OH IT’S STEVEN TOTILO! HELLO! Say something cool. If I was on I would be so Scottish.
The Kotaku CMS just told me I was posting comments too quickly. SHUT UP CMS, YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME!
HERE WE GO!
Those are some pretty clouds. Also — enemy balls incoming. They’re moving fast. For balls.
Urgh… who are these weird guys. I don’t like change. #oldmanserrels
Oh, but I really like that grenade throwie back mechanic. Ah, forerunner enemies of some kind. I see!
Also — these new weapons are really cool. Love the way they sort of build themselves into the Chief’s hands…
MATTRICK MOONWALK INCOMING!
Why are you whooping journalists? Just listen and shut up!
Also — thoughts on Halo trailer? I have feelings.
Ooh, what is this then?
Ah Splinter Cell! Of course. Sam Fisher is killing the shit out of some generic terrorists. Go get em Sam.
And I can take the piss, but Splinter Cell has always had some awesome core mechanics. I loved the last one. This looks great. Has the same fluid style of stealth. Also: looks awesome. Obviously.
Oh, assassin’s creed style movement. This is slick son.
No need to animate mouths if everyone is wearing doo rag masks. GENIUS.
Kinect voice control. Sorry, but I just don’t want it. Maybe just me…
TELL ME THE LOCATION OF THE NUKES DAMMIT! OR INNOCENT PEOPLE WILL DIE! /jackbauer
Nice demo though. Excited about this game.
Oh hello Andrew Wilson with your Aussie accent.
Is Joe Montana the Ace Venture one? NO?! BOOOOOOOOOO.
I will invent swear words when playing sports games. I have swear words up my sleeve the world just isn’t ready for.
Also — I WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND AMERICAN FOOTBALL!
You know, in hindsight, props to 343 for not shoehorning Kinect Voice into Halo 4. You know that pressure must have been huge. Although, there’s still a chance I guess…
I find it hard to keep caring about Fable. Sorry guys! Also. I miss Molyneux and his wacky, wacky promises.
OOOOOOOH GEARS OF WAR!
I really hope you don’t play as the annoying blonde one from Gears of War. What’s his name again? Anyway. He’s annoying. I don’t like change.
Now Forza is showing and it looks typically good. ALSO IT HAS DUBSTEP!
This is the guy who will take us beyond the box I’m presuming. Tell me more about how the Xbox is becoming a multimedia hub that will take over the living room.
Man, I’m really coming off sarcastic. I need more Pepsi Max. I’ll eat some more chocolate instead.
All these sports are mince! What about the AFL! I want to crack a tinnie and watch the bloody footy on the dunnie!
In all seriousness. With Kinect voice — I find it really hard to use. Also, it feels like a bigger barrier for me than a controller. That’s probably just me, or people like me. But I feel like it’s a bigger barrier. You’re never truly confident about whether it will work.
Sorry Microsoft, you’re just way too late to crack the music market.
Tweet from @Raygunbrown: WHY IS THERE A NIKE DUDE ON STAGE?
[Nods head about fitness while gorging himself on Pepsi Max and massive block of chocolate]
Oooh. Something about tablets. This will be interesting.
Hmmm. Tablet thing is cool. I wonder if it will be compatible with other tablet brands. If not, this will most likely not be successful. They really need to accept that Apple has this market sewn up for now.
Oh, they did mention other tablets. My bad — this is pretty game changing then.
I wonder how this affects Nintendo with the Wii U ‘tablet’. This is probably the most interesting hardware related thing announced so far.
You know what? I really like this smartglass. Works with devices you already own. I’m buying into this.
Wonder how much it costs and when it comes out…
Apparently Australian Spring for the Smartglass.
It would be awesome if a dev had the balls to create an adventure game where you didn’t use a gun at all. Just a thought. Not bagging on the Tomb Raider trailer or anything.
Actually Tomb Raider is looking quite polished right now. Movement looks a little floaty and unweighted for my tastes, but apart from that…
I’m loving the frantic pacing. I hope the game can maintain it.
This game by the Toy Soldiers people is not for me. Ascend: New Gods. Pretty weak trailer.
THE BICYCLE! It’s LOCO!
Actually this Matter game looks interesting. I want to know more about that. Cool aesthetic.
RE6. PLEASE BE GOOD. PLEASE BE GOOD. PLEASE BE GOOD. PLEASE BE GOOD. PLEASE BE GOOD.
It’s funny how so much of the RE sounds just instantly elicit fear in me. Just the sounds themselves. That’s years of conditioning there.
Wow. I just realised that RE6 allows you to move and shoot. How did I miss that? Asides from that I’m a little underwhelmed to be honest.
Not going to lie, I like this girl’s tattoo.
This is solid gold GIF material. The internet better not fail me.
I just have to hear Cartman’s voice and I’m prepped to piss myself laughing.
Oh man, I have no idea what’s going on. But I want this game.
OH GAWD MATT STONE/TREY PARKER YOU ARE THE BEST.
Hmmm. I wonder if we’ll have any decent stuff now? I’m hoping for some new IP to end the show. I love Dance Central as much as the next man — I was born to dance — but this is not new and exciting!
Man, tough crowd Usher. Also — Don Mattrick said ‘crew’.
Oh, it’s just COD.
This is a pretty dull way to end the conference to be honest. As much as Black Ops 2 is huge. Everyone knows what to expect. Bleh. Things will explode. Blah blah blah. Not a dis on COD, just feel like this game would have worked better as an opener.
So any thoughts on the overall conference? A little disappointing from my perspective, although I like the potential of the glass/tablet thing. I thought Halo 4 looked alright as well.
As a side note, I can’t believe that the COD series is still trying to recreate that ‘Nuke’ from Modern Warfare. Every. Single. Game.
And it’s over! Thanks for sticking around guys! Really appreciate it! Hope to see you in the morning! I’m hanging around for the EA conference.