This Year's San Diego Comic-Con Exclusives Are Gonna Break Me

Now that my wallet has finally recovered from Comic-Con 2009, it's time to venture forth once more into the land of must-buy exclusive toys and shame. Rather than surprise my bank account this year, I've compiled a shopping list containing the logical, illogical and not-embarrassing-at-all items I'll be bringing home this weekend.

And then I tally up the damage. This is going to hurt.

Long before I was writing for Kotaku, I was a toy collector. No matter how many artificial restrictions I attempted to put on my purchase habits (only Transformers, only see-through action figures, only edible toys) I always fall back to one tried-and-true policy: buy it — it's shiny.

This is probably why they didn't accept my application to write at the The Economist. I drew pretty pictures on it and everything.

Oh well, let's get it started. Let's get it started (in here).

Thundercats Classic Minimates Series 1 Box Set Seller: Action Figure Xpress (Booth #3345) Production Run: 3000 Price: $US20 thunder. Thunder. THUNDER. THUNDERCATS. ho. A large chunk of my childhood in bite-sized form. There's no Cheetara, but that's probably a good thing; Cheetara made 13-year-old me feel funny.

D-Arts Vile "Megaman X" Seller: Bluefin (Booth #3545) Production Run: Early Release Price: $US50 Vile comes with a hand holding a bourbon glass. A BOURBON GLASS.

My Little Pony Zecora Seller: Entertainment Earth / Toys R Us (Booth #2343) Production Run: N/A Price: $US10 I don't even have a picture of the toy, but I am buying this. Not because I am some sort of Brony, though. It's because I've heard that she's an evil enchantress she does evil dances. And if you look deep in her eyes, she will put you in trances. That's what I hear, at least.

The Venture Bros. Brock Samson Bloody 3 3/4 inch Action Figure Seller: Entertainment Earth (Booth #2343) Production Run: 1500 Price: $US15 If I had hair, I'd like to think I would look just like Brock Samson, and I would sound just like Patrick Warburton. This one's technically for the wife, but I can understand her passion.

DC Comics Superheroes: Kyle Rayner and Kilowog Exclusive Action Figure 2-Pack Seller: Graphitti Designs (Booth #2315) Production Run: 2500 Price: $US25 The first in a line of all-new 3.75-inch DC Comics action figures to be solely available at conventions, this inaugural set features my personal favourite human Green Lantern with my personal favourite alien Lantern. It's a win-win.

Bobble Budds: Mega Man Proto Man Seller: Multiverse Studio / SOTA Toys (Booth #2846) Production Run: 4000 Price: $US11.99 The first in what I hope will be an expansive line of Mega Man Bobble Budd figures, Proto Man comes with this Buster Cannon, his shield, and a head locking mechanism that all bobble toys should learn from. Wobbly heads are only amusing for so long before they start to look like they are actively mocking us.

Portal ASHPD "The Cave Johnson" Edition Seller: NECA (Booth #3145) Production Run: 500 Price: $US150 I cannot afford this, but I could not afford not to share it with you all. It comes with an autographed photo of Cave Johnson, signed by some guy named Bill Fletcher from Valve. I guess he's Cave's secretary.

Hello Kitty Chun Li Plush Seller: Toyami (Booth #3229) Production Run: 1000 Price: $US40 It's Hello Kitty dressed as Chun Li. I shouldn't have to explain this to anyone.

Jazwares' Adventure Time Finn in PJs plush Seller: UCC Distribution (Booth #700) Production Run: 3000 Price: $US14.99 Adventure Time, c'mon grab your butt!

Claudia - Warehouse 13 Animated Maquette #1 Seller: QMx (Booth #2944) Production Run: 1000 Price: $US59.95 This is not technically a Comic-Con exclusive — you can buy it right now at QMx Online — but posing it as an exclusive in this article means my wife will think it is an exclusive, so when I spend $US60 because I love Claudia from Warehouse 13 it will make some sort of sense to her. And then we have Hasbro. Damn you, Hasbro.

Transformers Prime Terrorcon Cliffjumper Seller: (Booth #3329) Production Run: N/A Price: $US24.99 This is Cliffjumper, as voiced by The Rock in the Hub animated series Transformers Prime, only he's technically a zombie. It's a long story. Well, it spanned a few episodes. Long story short, I want it.

Transformers Deluxe Bruticus Combiner Seller: (Booth #3329) Production Run: N/A Price: $US99.99 It's Bruticus from the eventual hit video game Transformers: Fall of Cybertron, specially coloured to differentiate him from the official toys hitting stores later in the year.

My Little Pony 2012 Special Edition Pony Seller: (Booth #3329) Production Run: N/A Price: $US12.99 It's Derpy. How can I not buy Derpy?

G.I. Joe H.I.S.S. Tank with Shockwave Deco Seller: (Booth #3329) Production Run: N/A Price: $US64.99 It's a G.I. Joe / Transformers crossover! It's a H.I.S.S. tank painted to look like the Decepticon Shockwave, and it comes with a Destro figure and one of Cobra's Battle Android Troopers. This is not something you leave on the shelf in some lonely convention centre.

OK, so we add all of that up, carry the four, add sales tax where applicable and we get: holy shit. We'll just leave the total blank. My wife is horrible at maths, but she makes up for it with her beauty and forgiving nature.

I'll check back in after the show to see how I fared. Hopefully nothing else will catch my eye, or I'll have to sell one of my children. Want to help? Hit up the full list at the Comic-Con site and make helpful suggestions.


    Haha Derpy looks like a must buy. How could you resist a pony named Derpy.

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