Win! Walking Dead Season 2, Plus Walking Dead T-Shirt

Win! Walking Dead Season 2, Plus Walking Dead T-Shirt
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Zombies. Every time I think I’m sick of them, someone finds a way to make me care. I might be sick of Zombies in my video games, but I genuinely enjoyed seeing them on my TV screen with the first season of The Walking Dead, and I’m quite looking forward to picking up where I left off with Season 2. It is for this reason that I’m considering entering this competition under my nom de plume, Mark Scrolls…

We have ten Walking Dead prize packs to give away, each featuring one Walking Dead Season 2 DVD and one Walking Dead t-shirt.

Want to win one of these prize packs? Well, entering is simple. I have a question and I want you to answer it in the most inventive/funny/awesome way possible. Best entries win.

If the zombie apocalypse started in Australia — where would it start and why?


Drop your entries in the comments below. Terms and Conditions can be found here, and we’ll announce the winners next week.

Comments

    • If there was a god there probably wouldn’t be a zombie apocalypse in the first place. Unless it was an angry, vengeful god, I suppose.

      Also, Mark – don’t call yourself Mark Scrolls unless you want to get yourself sued by Bethesda.

    • I would start it in the Gold Coast on Schoolies Weekend.. Why Because there is nothing better than drunk underage Zombies who are trying to kill you while you go by your every day life….

      That or have them descend from the blue mountains in a wave of dead flesh falling down a hill

  • Centrelink, because we can get rid of the dole bludgers, but I’m sure they’d still claim the disability!

    • This is very true. The outbreak has begun, but the zombies have mastered the ability to use telephones. They call the government department I work for and wail down the phone. ‘Pensiiiooon’, they moan, ‘Health care caaaards’ they mumble through a mashed up mouthful of Ice and goon. By the end of the every day I end up in the corner with a very small pistol pointed at my temple, but then I change my mind at the last minute and dash out of the office to triumphant music whilst awkwardly Kung Fu kicking zombies on my way to the helipad.

  • West Queensland.

    One of the mining sites will dig a little too deep, unleashing an ancient horror that destroys all that it touches. The few that survive will walk the earth tirelessly, unable to rest, unable to die.

    Right up until the point that the mining companies realise that they can be used as a source of guilt-free slave labour. Then they’re getting sent back down the mines.

  • Tasmania (technically still Australia :P) They’d be completely overun and we wouldn’t even know it ’till those zombies learned how to swim or catch a ferry.

  • My house, because everybody in my family is currently sick and to anybody passing by they’d think that we already are zombies 😛

  • What? It hasn’t already happened? Flinders St Melbourne post 8pm, week nights.
    I’m pretty good with my sonic screwdriver. I scare them with my little “laser” 🙂

  • Monash University.
    The University has about 40,000 people.
    Combined with the number of large disease, bacterial, germ research/experiment laboratories and the number of hippie, green loving clueless uni students its just asking for a ’28 Days Later’ Rage virus break out scenario.

  • Allure offices: after a freak sleeping accident, Mark Serrels becomes zombiefied.
    People are suspect when he organises a meat in Melbourne, because we all know he hates Melbourne. But by then, it’s too late.

  • It has already started in East Nowra, I’m afraid. On doll day all the houso’s sumble up mindlessly towards the Centrelink.

  • “It saddens me to report that this zombie outbreak has been traced back to those un- christian queue jumping boat people.”

    Tony Abbott future prime minister of Australia.
    (Not actually true but god damn do the voters love it)

  • Level 4, 71 Macquarie St, Sydney.

    Mark Serrels arrives at work with a huge crate. He is visibly excited.
    “I found a place in China Town that is selling imported Pepsi Max. I got 500 cans for only $20!
    He cracks open a can, and a foul green gas escapes.
    “Yeah, I wouldn’t drink that” says Luke.
    “What’s the worst that can happen?” Mark replies as he takes a sip of the strange elixir.

  • New Zealanders have spread over here like a zombie virus, every where you turn… a New Zealander! So not technically the country of Australia, but it’s in the continent of australia.

  • I’m not exactly sure how it will start but i’m sure it will either involve Ben Cousins, Matthew Newton or something that Brian Thompson has slept with.

  • If it happened? IF?

    Gold Coast 23 April 2001 – It was televised. You could watch the zombies deteriorate from the comfort of your own home.

    The outbreak was quelled in 2008 but come 13 August the dead will walk again. Kotaku help us all.

  • The in-laws place. Oh, I thought you meant where I want it to start.
    Oh well, same answer. Walking dead breed the walking dead I guess.

  • Uhm.. Christmas Island of course.. that’s where all the illegal immigrants come from these days… a zombie is just another illegal immigrant with the same rights as everyone else after all.. they are just misunderstood!

  • An accident occurred while performing Scientific Research on a Japanese whaling vessel in the Great Australian Bight. Radioactive Fukishima runoff was being injected into baby whales (only the ugly ones). During a wild storm one carcass ended up overboard. A few days later it drifted through Hells Gates, TAS and washed ashore. Locals (loathe to waste a good protein source) polished off the last of it at a celebratory beach BBQ. The local news reported the deaths as mercury poisoning. The next day…

  • Well I tell you what, it definitely won’t start in my secret underground laboratory, I assure you I am not messing with anything dangerous that will accidentally backfire and be released into the public, nope, completely safe. You know what? Forget I said anything.

  • It’s gotta be Tasmania.

    Viruses will be carried easily by the dense mixture of fog and wood smoke that blankets the north, and will spread quickly southward; as you can get from one end of the island to the other in three hours. Survivors will be forced to flee into the wilderness on the wild west coast, where communication to the outside world becomes difficult. Plus, everyone is related, so nobody will have any type of blood immunity!
    It’s perfect!

  • The crashed alien they have been experimenting on at Pine Gap since the 1950’s has finally escaped, and is bitten by a dingo whilst wandering in the wilderness. The dingo then goes on to bite an outback tourist camping at night, and the combination of the alien/dingo DNA interacting with the human DNA creates a perfect storm of zombie goodness.

  • Tasmania, as that’s where the foreign fruit and veg gets imported 2 then re labeled as Aussie grown. So the infected items would be sent to all the major city’s and and before you can say put a brain on the barbie BOOM zombie apocalypse

  • Where better than Adelaide!?…
    It seems to be the butt of the other states jokes anyway, so why not the origin of a zombie infestation as well?…Half the people lurking around there seem like roamers/biters anyway.
    ps. I’m from Adelaide.

  • It would begin at midnight January 1st at Sydney Harbour as fireworks explode into the dark night!
    The brigde, the Opera House and Harbour absolutely filled with humans squashed like sardines in one huge area with little option of escape. This would be the culmination of life humans experiences!
    Only a small army of zombies is required to “recruit” (and feast at the same time) start the zombpocalypse , as they gnaw their way into the crowds like kids diving into a pool hyper colors rubbers balls!
    The exponential growth of hordes of zombies will quickly spread with no real chances of Aussies surviving throughout the night, and even boat trying to sail away will only carry the viral attacks unto another state to spread the glorious dawn of the dead more fortuitously to the living!

    A new year befalls, the human species ceases…generations one zombies rises! All hail the hopping dead!

  • I’d like to see it start in cronulla where they bash zombies to death for simply being different and not for the fact that they want to eat them.

  • Corio.
    Having that refinery around the bay would make this all too easier…
    And not in a good way. 🙁

  • It would start in a snooty Melbourne cafe – no one will notice as there won’t be a change in the moaning of those in their torn jeans coming from inside. Plus art-students are usually covered in red paint anyway, right?

  • It would start in Cape York and work its way down the south east coast of Australia before spreading across the rest of the country. The hushed up zombie outbreak in America at the moment will spill over the country and they will rest on the sea floor before washing up on our coast.

  • Julia Gillards office – because the brains there have deteriorated so much that any potential zombie supervirus will find that there is not much it has to do to completely zombify the host.

  • Sydney…cause most outbreaks would occur in or near big major cities where they have hospitals and facilities that would manufacture antidots,vaccines as well

  • Melbourne, because all of the hipsters would initially mistake the zombie virus for some sort of avant-garde performance art piece

  • Sydney…cause most outbreaks would occur in or near big major cities where they have hospitals and facilities that would manufacture antidots,vaccines as well as the plague or disease..n there is a bigger population with plenty of guinea pigs to do trial sessions or new viruses n what have you

  • Sydney…cause most outbreaks would occur in or near big major cities where they have hospitals and facilities that would manufacture antidots,vaccines as well as the plague or disease..n there is a bigger population with plenty of guinea pigs to do trial sessions or new viruses n what have you

  • I would start it in the Gold Coast on Schoolies Weekend.. Why Because there is nothing better than drunk underage Zombies who are trying to kill you while you go by your every day life….

    That or have them descend from the blue mountains in a wave of dead flesh falling down a hill

  • The walking dead have just finished their tour of England and are soon to land in Pakistan. we need to stop them flying back to Australia before the curse spreads…

  • Moe, but it’d take about 3 years until it reached mainstream society, and even before people actually saw that they were Zombies, they would know to run because when you see a 16 year old girl shuffling at you and smoking a cigarette, a guy with a mullett and a flanalette shirt and about 6 guys with beerguts and full tracksuits approaching you, your run.

  • The Zombie Apocalype has already begun; my girlfriend cooked for the first time in our new flat for the family on Sunday and I can assure you that I feel like one of the walking dead right now…

  • Easy parliament house, this isn’t a bad thing though as it will give us a chance to start a new abd better government… Abd also we get to kill some Gov Zombies with Gillard and Abbot the final bosses.

  • The influenza virus is evolving and adapting to the vaccines and therefore this year people are more prone to catching the seasonal flu. Recently there has been a few deaths related to the influenza virus. The Zombie pandemic will likely start in Sydney as it is the most populated city in Australia with over 4,627,345 people. With more people the virus has more room to evolve faster . The new virus will cause high fever, delusions and finally “death”(As per the TV show).
    The dead shall rise!!!

  • The Royal Prince Alfred Hospital in Sydney.

    I doubt the infection would originate in Australia so it would have to come from overseas. After zombifying people in large population centres the government would try and hush it up not wanting to cause a panic or affect stock markets. Some unscrupulous individuals, taking advantage of the confusion, would begin to harvest the organs and even some of the bodies of the “deceased”. Sending these organs around the world to hospitals.

    You finally get that new kidney you needed, thinking it is from poor motorcycle rider, and you are blissfully unaware of the series of bribes and miss management that are soon going to have you waking from your surgery bed with an insatiable desire for human flesh.

  • The Australian government, in partnership with the US of course, has a secret bio-weapons lab underneath Uluru. Some local Aboriginals accidently stumble into the lab after visiting ceremonial caves. They accidentally unleash a new form of ultra-weaponised rabies. The lab then proceeds to self destruct to destroy the outbreak. The lab explodes but because of large amounts of coal seam gas mining in the region, the explosion is huge. Uluru is obliterated and the virus survives and travels to all corners of the country in a massive red dust cloud as similar to last year. (:

  • If it starts in Adelaide we probably won’t know it’s happening until it’s too late, especially if it’s the same weekend as the AFL ‘Showdown’ between Port and the Crows. The crowd at those games would be enough to make you think the ZomPoc happens twice a year already.

    Tassie might also be a spot for it to start when the government test their new weapons on us poor little Tasmanians all exposed on the Apple Isle. Luckily I already have my ZomPoc plan planned out. I can’t disclose that sort of information here though in case my ideal spot is over run. It’s not Tasman Island btw so don’t bother going there.

  • Wolworths, so then they can just be sated o the sweet sweet taste of vegemite, and everything will be well in the world.

  • Before the question can be answered, we need to consider what motivates a zombie. Once we know what a zombie needs to fulfil its desires, we can start to deduce where such dread creature might first be spotted. Thankfully, it is a commonly accepted fact that most zombies of good breeding are desirous of but one thing; juicy, succulent brains.
    So the question needs to be amended. We now need to identify an area on this fair island, girt by sea, in which brains exist in significant enough quantities, and of sufficient quality so as to inspire an uprising of the shuffling undead. Firstly, and probably most obviously, we can obviously exclude ground zero being located at or around any major football ground, with football crowds being commonly accepted to be particularly brainless. (Before the sporting fans get too up in arms, I should note that this is a code neutral generalisation, as the crowds of all football codes can be considered equally brainless). For similar reasons, Canberra and the various state parliaments can be also ruled out.
    One area that should be given serious consideration is the campus of any major Australian university. The students of these institutions are widely accepted to have gained their places on the strength of their notable brainpower. Add to this the increased likelihood of inhuman and obscene laboratory experiments being conducted, and it is highly tempting to predict a higher education institution to be the eventual home of Zombie U (Zombie U of course being the tertiary institute of the dead, as opposed to the upcoming WiiU shooter, ZombiU). However, Universities are known for one thing other than advanced scholastic ability. This other thing is of course consuming copious amounts of booze on a regular basis. The frequent alcohol intake leaves the brains of many university students in a state of near pickling, and renders them unsuitable for the delicate tastes of the discerning zombie horde.
    So, we need an area with numerous brains of a high standard, housed within containers that are ultimate paragons of clean, sober living. Clearly there is only one place like this in all of Australia. This is of course within the studio audience of the ABC’s hit mid-afternoon game show, Letters and Numbers. Like its British counterpart Countdown (a reference included to ensure the comprehension of our gentle Scottish overlord), Letters and Numbers appeals only to the absolute cream of intellectual society, those who also eschew the seedy vices of our base society. Now, it should be noted that I am not necessarily trying to imply that the host, Richard Morecroft is a zombie. Merely that in the case of an impending zombie apocalypse it is he that is likely to take the first bite.

  • Definitely the Dandenong Ranges. Woody area. Scares the crap out me living around here at night even without zombies.

  • Byron Bay. The temperate tropical environs would be the perfect petri dish for Zombism. People are so chillaxed there that it would take a while for the glassy-eyed, shuffling, post-living biters to be discerned from the stoners and hippies. The zombie apocalypse could probably get a strong foothold whilst all were focused on chakra cleansing and the like!

  • It would start in Goondiwindi.
    Two Aussie zombie drovers standing in an Outback bar.
    One asked, “What are you up to, Mate?”
    Ahh, I’m takin’ a mob of 6000 from Goondiwindi to Gympie.”
    “Oh yeah … and what route are you takin’?”
    “Ah, probably the Missus; after all, she stuck by me durin’ the drought.”

  • I’ve done a bit of travel around the place, and while I tossed the idea around of maybe Adelaide, or Tasmania, or Canberra, or Penrith… I’m pretty sure it’d start up in Queensland. Fortitude Valley, to be specific. If only because it even SOUNDS like the kind of place that would be at the centre of a horror movie.

  • The Gold Coast, 90% of the population here already act like zombies anyway, and they’re totally oblivious to a lot of things.

  • The infection starts this very night when unsuspecting viewers start watching The Shire. It will be a gradual undetected process that will occur all across Australia predominately affecting the young.

  • Lake Woytchugga, The Central Darling Shire. Not exactly where you’d expect a hidden lair, but land was cheap, and the Wilcannia airport was just big enough to get him to Sydney.

    The light glinted in his eyes, while his fingers toyed with his necklace. The rat that had, moments before, been lying dead on the table, was moving slowly around, stumbling slightly, but very much alive. 8 years it had been. 8 Long years of hardship, strife, sweat, tears, and oh so much blood. But he’d show them all. As the Kookaburras outside began their morning chorus, he smiled. Bright and early, Monday the Sixteenth of July, and it was done. It was too late for his reputation, that had been destroyed as he ran screaming from the hospital, the Heart Monitor still ringing in his mind. But by this point it didn’t matter. It worked. It was not in vain.

    He packed his bag; the vial went in carefully, wrapped in an old shirt. The best security available after so long away. A clean shirt thrown on, a quick ride down the road, and he was in his RV-7, $50,000 and built while testing, the aircraft would be strained to make it to Sydney, particularly for her maiden voyage, but this was too important. You’d think a few minutes wouldn’t matter, after so long, but suddenly, everything was urgent. He skipped pre-flight checks, didn’t bother contacting anyone, he’d worry about that when he reached Sydney Airspace. The plane juddered off, slipping slightly in the morning’s breeze.

    The plane was on target, he’d be there soon enough. A moment of panic, so he checked his bag, grabbing the vial. Holding it close to his chest, as he’d once wanted to hold a child, staring into its depths, like he’d stared into her eyes. And in that quiet moment, his moment of pure beauty, the shit hit the fan. The propeller stalled, the plane began to dip. He held his baby, his prize to his chest, and braced himself. He had no training for this, he barely knew how to land as it was, and so the plane crashed down. The vial split open. And the last words on his lips, “Laura” echoed forever through his mind.

    And so he trundled into Trundle, where the end of all humanity, began.

  • Level 4, 71 Macquarie St, Sydney. I think there’s some zombie there that tried some kind of zombie-lifestyle sleep pattern for a week and couldn’t survive. He may have already turned…

  • Campbelltown – Why would it start in Campbelltown – HELLO! Wake up and smell the rotting coffee. It’s already begun. Slow moving, growling bogans roaming the streets 24 hours a day. Come and see if you dare.

  • It would start in January when valve ask for Left 4 Dead 2 to be re-rated due to the release of the R18 rating in Australia.

  • THE zombie apocalypse would originate deep in the heart of the Australian Christian Lobby’s dungeons. Why? Because, they’ve already shown us they are masters of resurrection ( their repetitious arguments on the R18), have an undying will ( you know they won’t stop, even after the first R rating game sticker is printed ), and lets face it… they could use a little braaaaaaaains…

  • I think that the zombie apocalypse in Australia would begin in the Illawarra. The infection would effectively eliminate Australia’s largest steelworks in Port Kembla. This would damage the whole nation’s economy. The virus would also have easy access to other major cities via public transport. The Cityrail trains would become overrun with zombies, finding an easy feast on commuters travelling along the coast. On the plus side however, trains to and from Sydney would be less crowded. These trains would travel right into the heart of Sydney at Central station, spreading disease further throughout the city from there. The many highways through the Illawarra would allow a “herd” of zombies a quick path through major towns and cities up and down the East coast. By originating in the Illawarra, the disease could aslo spread by ship, to different ports along Australia or to other nations. The virus would wipe out suburbs such as Berkely (which already seems full of zombies and bogans), with thousands of people living in close proximity, densely packed into housing commission homes. People from the Illawarra would be forced to flee inland over mountains or further North or South along the coast to escape the growing hordes.

  • Same way the aids virus started – some douche fu#ked a monkey – except this time it will be some douche having sex with a dolphin… probably some tourist in the great barrier reef area that thought blowhole meant… you get the idea

  • The Zombie Apocalypse has already started in Australia. It started in the suburbs. Here’s one survivor’s story.

    Zombies In The Burbs.

    Twas the night before Christmas when all through the house,
    Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
    The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
    ‘Cause surely no Zombie would ever come there.

    The children were settled all snug in their beds,
    While visions of L4D danced in their heads.
    And Mum in her night-cream, and I in my cap,
    Had just settled our brains for a long summer’s nap.

    When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
    I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
    I knew in my heart that it couldn’t be good,
    So I grabbed my best bat of nice, hard willow wood.

    My cricket bat held in a baseballer’s stance,
    From out of the window I risked a quick glance.
    There were four of them out near the old lemon tree,
    I twitched back the curtain before they saw me.

    But ‘too late’ I realised as they all took cover,
    “They’ve seen me” I whispered, “The whole jig is over”.
    Then came the knocking upon our front door,
    Till finally I just could not take any more.

    If only I had a good scoped hunting rifle,
    I’d shoot them from here, it would be such a trifle.
    Or even a trusty pump-action shot gun,
    I could kill them all, it might even be fun.

    Not owning a gun, I said “This won’t be easy”.
    (I’ll honestly tell you I felt rather queasy).
    “You never told me that it would come to this”,
    Said my wife in a whisper, almost a hiss.

    We’d discussed at great length just how we might cope,
    When Zombies approached our house in their vain hope,
    Of getting us to sign up with a new Telco,
    Or power provider. We’d firmly say “No”.

    But door to door sellers, as if on a mission,
    Kept coming and coming in search of commission.
    So, now bat in hand I crept quietly downstairs,
    And readied myself to smash their soulless stares.

    “Tell the children I love them” I shouted in glory,
    I was sure that my end would come soon, very gory.
    I opened the door and I set loose upon them,
    An end to that damned door-to-door salesman problem.

    As I sit here now in my quiet prison cell,
    I know in the suburbs the curse they can smell.
    And I only wish that I could have done more,
    About those Zombies who still knock door to door.

  • (sorry if this is a double post – I tried to post from my tablet, pretty sure it didn’t take)

    The zombie outbreak has already originated, deep in the heart of the Australian Christian Lobby’s dungeons. Why? Because, they’ve already show us they are masters of resurrection ( their repetitious arguments on the R18 ), have an undying will ( you know they won’t stop, even after the first R rating game sticker is printed ), and let’s face it, they really needs some braaaaaaaaaaaaaains….

    🙂

  • I saw the first outbreak reported on the tv – I think it should have been the lead news story but instead they called it Question Time in Parliament!!

  • It would start in a vegan cafe in central melbourne, why? Cause if there is a god reeking an zombie apocalypse upon the world he has a sense a humour and appreciates good irony. I mean have you ever seen a platypus??? Hilarious

  • It would probably start right in my house. Every morning when I get out of bed and look in the mirror, I am positive that I already see a zombie.

  • The outbreak would first occur during a meeting of Parliament. With our government leaders becoming undead, Australia, the multicultural, safest and most laid back country in the world would band together to defeat a common enemy!

  • Towns in Australia where there is Coal Seam gas mining.
    For reasons yet unknown, the gas has an unusual new effect on humans, turning them
    into the Walking Dead

  • It would start just in a Science testing facility in or near Sydney. The scientists believe they have a cure for a major disease (Cancer, AID, HIV and etc.) and when they test the animals they won’t show symptoms of the virus but when they begin human testing the ‘cure’ will react with the human DNA and mutate, causing the Zombie Virus. The Zombies will overpower the security guards and escape the facility and when they infect the nearby population the attacks will be considered attacks of cannibalism, drug misuse or violent acts. Infect people will attempt to flee the country and this is how the infection will spread to the world.

  • If the zombie apocalypse were to start in Australia then it would originate in Lucas Heights in the heart of the Sutherland Shire.

    the initial outbreak there would not just be as a result of the geographical proximity to the Lucas Heights nuclear reactor where sofety concerns have been reported before but also because it has been used as the filming location for the Shire.

  • In any aquatic centre…
    All it would take is one exchange student bent on exfoliation, daddy’s bath salt stash, and a grand dream of the biggest ‘bath’ in the world. The unknowing kid would drop the salts in a pool and through an intense (and complex) chemical combination of chlorine, urine, sauna steam and drunken pool water, the zombie auspocalypse is well on its way.

  • It would start in Adelaide. Why? Because the people of Adelaide are already mindless and soulless walking dead anyway. (And yes, I can say this. I’m an ex Adelaidian that escaped that backwards ‘town’)

  • In multiple locations, zombies sprouting from the largest boys catholic schools in each state. All the innuendo and wrong doing of these boys in blazers, festering, growing from inappropriate discipline from priests and nuns, as they search to feed their hunger……brains, brains and more brains!!

  • Melbourne university. An experiment gone wrong in the anatomy lab, and boom the Zombie apocalypse begins. Lots of happy, healthy, knowledgeable brains to devour and enjoy, gaining their strength from the immense amount of healthy brain cells. Then on to conquer the country, then the world.

  • after the aliens pinched the oceans thats when it started the planet was in big trouble we had to feed ourselves with whatever. so much we do not know about what is down there that infected and caused the zombie outbreak

  • My mother in laws house..you never know whats lurking there and what once was living is most likely now dead and covered under dirt and yesteryears furniture.

  • There once was a zombie outbreak in Australia
    At Mark Serrels’s apartment, inter alia
    His lack of sleep was the cause
    As his life was on pause
    And the outcome was in a Hollywood trailer

  • Hopefully on the set of Australia’s Got Talent, because you have to be brain dead to want to watch that show.

  • I’m sorry, but due to your region settings, this Zombie outbreak has had the “Low Violence” option selected. Zombies will be replaced with fluffy bunnies, chasing, catching, flesh tearing and skin eating replaced with hugs and sing alongs….. this is done for YOUR protection, as even as an adult, you STILL can not be left to choose what YOU wish to see. Thank you, your government.

  • Queensland would be the first zombie target. For it’s where the bananas are bent , the pumpkin scones lament and Sir Joh’s legacy still indents.

  • Have to be Tassy. What with the pollution caused by the wood chip industry over the decades and mass inbreeding its a zombie factory rearing to go

  • Tamworth.. well there’s a lot of Zombies floating around there during the music festival, so they would be well camouflaged!

  • The auspocalypse I believe would most likely start in Sydney. With the densest concentration of people per square kilometre in Australia, roughly 2100 people, there is a ridiculously high degree of possible transference of viral, bacterial and parasitic diseases and infections between the highly dense population, let alone something more sinister, bitey, dead and hungry. This environment is well suited for the birthplace of the Australian zombpocalypse and is exacerbated by a comfortable temperature ranging between the medians of 22 and 13 degrees Celsius. Whilst being far from perfect for bacterial growth, it’s in the range of comfortable living temperature, therefore likely to in the range of comfortable not-living temperature.

    Sydney being the international hub for travelers in Australia has the highest influx of people from all corners of the globe. This mixed with the high density creates some fantastic opportunities for a well-meaning American or English zombie masquerading as a non-infected human to go to town of some tasty Aussie flesh thereby creating a new hybrid zombie. Zombaussies, still zombies, just a little less uptight about things.

    The built up nature of the great city creates a playground that is almost beckoning to be upheaved and turned in the apocalyptic playground of every resident evil, fallout, Urban Zombie fans dreams, let alone anyone who’s a fan of any zombie film with at least a toe in the city based landscape. Sydney has so many things to offer for the Auspocalypse, 33 hospitals, at least 8 gun shops in the CBD, several thousand cars that could be upturned for protection not to mention the traffic jams that so perfectly theme a nice skirmish of survivors vs. zombies. Add to this the sheer number of illegal weapons that still likely find a market, some shady people and Kings Cross. Bam! Mix in some good vantage points from tall buildings, Sydney Harbour Bridge, an operatic score to set the seriousness of the situation and you’re in zombie heaven.

    The waterways of Sydney however aren’t much of a blessing either in the event of a zombie munchfest. Whilst they give some protection, the true mindless nature of zombies poses a severe threat in that they’re already dead and therefore cannot drown. Whilst dexterity is beyond them (less they’re Michael Jacksons Thriller zombies which for all the shambling and trouble they have in the start of the clip have some smooth dance moves that a lot of the living cannot replicate) they can swim to a point. Anything more than a paddle is unlikely, what is more likely however is they’re innate sense of wanting to eat you and the fact that they’re a dead weight (ha) means they could simply shamble across the watery bed and then float to your ‘safe’ vessel. Ensure you throw the elderly in first. Old people zombies are a dead boring.

    Sydneysiders themselves claim they’re lovely people, as I’m sure doctors maintain that needles won’t hurt and actually believe it, but friendly or not, either way is not good. Friendly means the possibility of being accidentally social with Zombie George. First it’s a quick pint down the pub, next, dinner with the family and then it’s ‘dinner with the family’ BAM! You’re now a zombie. Be mean and negative, and you run the risk of pissing a zombie off who will then seek mindless vengeance on your slow lagging children. You notice that the dogs missing and the kids are more quiet than normal and then BAM! Your ankle biter has actually bitten your ankle. Welcome to the zombie family.

    All in all, Sydney with all its ‘protective’ water, and ‘safe’ international airports and hospitals is quite possibly the birthplace of our doom. I would say Perth but really, no one voluntarily goes that far and any shambling zombies are going to get a quarter of the way to Broome before giving up. SCIENCE!

  • In Collingwood’s Cheersquad would commence
    The zombie apocalypse offense
    The MCGs audience slow to recognize;
    Their toothless haggard stance
    As anything more than your average Collingwood fans
    Thus beginning a full-scale zombie colonize!

  • Why australia? Somewhere in Mexico…. “ay pablo a don da va amigo eh?” dont worry about it mane i jus gunna go check it out ok ” pablo was creeping tords a strange vast crack in the middle of the desert near where he and many generations of pablos had lived and died “this shit stanks man what is it?” says pancho”i dont know man smells like dat freaking dog you brought home that pappa cut up and made for dinner man i didnt shit right for months man” “dam n u ate that man woah ahhh pancho help meeeee!” the ground hath shook and pablo was taken in by the black deep crack …. “m

  • “I told you to stay away man ! my stomach hurts man uh i dont feel good oh man ay pablo you in ther man?” pancho curls up next to the mouth of a crack in the earth where pablo dissapeared…. “ay man if you can hear me man ima stay here but i dont feel so good man “.. And so it began as pancho awaited pablos return he went thro a transformation from alive to undead from there he stalks the desert in search of anything living that he can devoir and turn. The pandemic has begun it wont be long now mwahahahaha!!!!

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