Lots of people make jokes about how fantasy football is an RPG for jocks and blah blah blah. It’s really not. It’s more like a complex version of roulette.
But hey, Bill Hanstock over at SBNation has put together a hilarious article that imagines fantasy football as an actual fantasy game. Here’s a basic summary:
Each set of downs is an obstacle to overcome. This could be your party encountering a grumpy troll you have to fight, it might be a sleeping guard that you have to pickpocket the keys from, or it might be a diplomat you have to seduce. Assign a different person each quarter to be the Game Master (GM). That person is responsible for keeping track of points and for announcing what the current obstacle is. Be creative! It could be literally anything. It could be Dan Quayle trying to convince you that “potato” is spelled with an “e.” It is pure fantasy.
Objective: In a single game, you’re trying to overcome nine obstacles and a boss battle. If you successfully defeat all 10 stages, you win! Or, if you’re the last player left “alive” at the end of the game, you win AND gain bragging rights over your friends. You did such a good job! Now everyone hates you.
You defeat obstacles by gaining experience points (XP). If good things happen to your players, you gain XP. If bad things happen, you lose HP.
For more, including the ridiculous breakdown of how XP is gained, check out the full article.