What Is This Weirdly Sexual Mario Image I Don’t Even Um OK

What Is This Weirdly Sexual Mario Image I Don’t Even Um OK

The live-action Mario movie is like a giant scab on your knee. It’s gross, and an eyesore, yet for whatever reason many of us just can’t resist picking at it.

Most of the time that invokes painful memories, but not today. Today it’ll provoke some different, much stranger emotions.

Witness Golden’s Super Mario Bros. The Movie: colouring Book. It’s a book that’s supposed to recreate the action of the film with simplified, black & white imagery, but either the bottom-drawer artists hired for the job hadn’t actually seen it, or they were cocky enough to try and make some visual (and narrative) changes.

Those are the only two explanations I can think of for what you’re about to see. Because, correct me if I’m wrong, I’m pretty sure Samantha Mathis doesn’t date Yoshi in the flick.

Golden Super Mario Bros. “Big colouring Book” [Super Mario Bros. The Movie Archive, via PMO]

Total Recall is a look back at the history of video games through their characters, franchises, developers and trends. You’ll find Total Recall stories every Tue-Fri between 1am -2am Eastern.


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