Welcome back to "Backhanded Box Quotes" a collection of measured, thoughtful criticism from the user reviews of Metacritic, Amazon and elsewhere.
Two games this week released to nearly universal acclaim, unless you're The Wall Street Journal. Borderlands 2 and Torchlight II. But in the great shining ideas marketplace and opinion democracy known as consumer reviews, both games have to answer to a harsher authority.
Released: September 18
Critic: neilsmif1980 (Metacritic) • "I was stuck I couldn't move forward or back just after I got past a really hard part at the beginning of the game. It froze on me! So I restarted it and I had to start nearly back to the beginning?" • "The game itself is just like Borderlands EXCEPT you have a mini map." Score: 0.
Critic:Get bodied (Amazon) • "It becomes tolerable if you do it with some friends around, but so is dying of bowel cancer." • "It's been a while since I've seen in-game menus as bad as these. It's like PowerPoint threw up on a Cluedo board and died." Score: 1 Star.
Critic: Sock_Factory (Metacritic) •"Borderlands 2 is a game where you shoot guns at stuff till it dies." Score: 0.
Released: September 20
Critic: disinterested (Metacritic) • "TLDR: Diablo3" Score: 1.
Critic: Token 40k (Metacritic) • "crappy light gamma." Score: 0.