Valve Almost Let You Kill Cave Johnson


At PAX Prime in Seattle, Double Fine’s Tim Schafer and Valve’s Erik Wolpaw gave a panel called “Plot vs. Play” in which they discussed the ongoing debate about gameplay and story. The panel was co-hosted by Kotaku‘s own Jason Schreier.

The whole thing was as much fun as you’d imagine. At one point Wolpaw, who tends to be something of a fount of hilarious unrealized Portal ideas at these sorts of panels, recounted an eventually canned sequence in Portal 2 in which players find (and kill) Aperture founder Cave Johnson. Well… they kill his brain, anyway. See, his consciousness is trapped inside a computer.

“There was something in Portal 2 where originally, for a while, you were going to find Cave Johnson.’ He would be like, ‘Hi, this is Cave Johnson. No really, this is Cave Johnson, look down here.’

And then we’d put him in this crummy box that was plugged into the wall. And the whole thing was that he’d been put into this computer, and he just hated it, and he just wanted to die. And so he wants you to unplug him, and meanwhile there’s a ledge that you can’t quite jump onto… and you have to stand on Cave Johnson, you have to unplug him and carry him across the room.

But it was hard to communicate what was going on — we maybe could have eventually worked it out, but that was something where it seemed like a good fictional idea and we just never quite worked the gameplay out to where it actually got where it needed to be — it didn’t work out.”

A while back, a Steam forum poster pulled out some unused dialogue from the game and posted it here, where you can find some lines that seem to reference the sequence Wolpaw was talking about.

“Now, before you say no, I want you to remember that I’ve lived a full life. Also, if this helps seal the deal, livin’ in a computer this long’s made me crazy. That’s right: I am insane.

“Wait. I suppose tellin’ you I’m not in my right mind could sway you to not unplugging me. Let me round back on the important parts: in a computer. Ceaseless torture. Monster in the eyes of god. So why don’t you get on over here and unplug ol’ Cave.”

Ha. File that all under “Things I really wish had made it into Portal 2.”


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