How To Survive The Zombie Apocalypse

This infographic from US sporting goods megastore REI isn't just amusing, it's in fact helpful. I never knew how to properly use a signal mirror before now. (Yes, I was a Boy Scout. No, I was not a good one. My only merit badge came for surviving the explosion of a can of beefaroni that some idiot Webelo pushed into the middle of a fire.)

Where the hell was I? Oh yes, the signal mirror. Don't forget the frying pan (a weapon in Left 4 Dead 2 Eighteen hits from it kills a tank on expert difficulty.) The key there is to not drop your shoulders as you start your swing. Do this by visualising swinging over the ball zombie's head, in a slightly downward motion. To season your frying pan, fill it with vegetable oil and place it in a 350-degree oven for about an hour.

13 Essential Tools for Surviving a Zombie Outbreak [REI]


Comments

    Cue the 'But what about the guns and weapons that I'll use to save everyone!' crowd that will die in seconds.

      Everyone? pfft. You'll need to offer something worthwhile for my rifle to save you.

      I bet no one will notice you can't easily get guns in Australia.

        Exactly. Katana and machete all the way! Fun times o.0

    DayZ dictates I kill you for all your gear... and beans.

      Those precious, precious beans....

    But I already have a book that extensively goes through all this!

    We were discussing the zombie apocalypse at work only yesterday.

    I'll take a copy of this in to work and post it on the wall.

    A compound bow. You forgot to mention that you'll need a compound bow with an 8x RDS.

      And the upper body of an olympian to use it properly for an extended period of time.

        or... just a regular non atrophied body...

    I'll just stick with my swords. Years of martial arts training and my RL trade as a blacksmith should come in handy and make me a valuable member of any survival community ;-)

      I'm going to depend on my inginuity and knowledge of basic survival technologies like how to make a water purifyer, simple weaponry and construct a generator from old car parts to make me useful to the gun toting members of our future post apocalyptic society. I will be the engineer of the horrific world of tomorrow.

    I'm going to use my extensive knowledge of zombie movies to survive the apocolypse.
    Like not opening the door and sticking my head out to see if the zombies have really gone , not associating with women wearing high heels or teenage men with weapons and equally limited amounts of ammo/experience using them, not making lots of noise, running a lot et al

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