Off Topic: Beards

Today's Off Topic is a special request from Kotaku community beardmaster ShiggyNinty. He asked me if we could have an Off Topic about beards, and I said, 'maybe'. Now I'm saying yes. This may seem like a little bit of a male-dominated talking point but, ladies, I want your input as well. Do you like beards, are beards stupid? What are the best beards?

And gentlemen — have you ever grown a beard? What kind of beard was it? Was it itchy?

Let's just talk beards in general. Let's discuss our favourite beards, or beard grooming tips.

Myself? I've never really tried to grow a beard, I always give up when it gets itchy, because it tends to make me 'hella' grumpy. (I say the word 'hella' now.)

I have grown a pretty meaty moustache before though...

Image courtesy of Shutterstock.


    I had a full beard back at uni, but since entering professional life I've had a goatee. My ex-gf freaked the hell out the one time I shaved it off.

    my beard is epic.

    I'm just going to leave this here:

      And I'll just leave this one here :P

        You missed the best beard related music.

          I came back to post this for Serrels: That photo is funny as shit.

    Beards are great, moustaches not so much. See picture above for proof. :P

    Hmmm... My beard growing abilities aren't fantastic, but a goatee and a soul patch are generally the go!

    I have a cool beard. You told me so, Mark.

    I kinda worry it'll get annoying in summer, though.

    If you can tolerate growing a beard, hats off to you! I have the capability to, but always get frustrated with how itchy it gets, then I shave it off..

    I can't grow a beard. All I can grow is a bit of stubble.

    Slightly related, I had a dream last night where I had a really long and luxurious moustache. I walked around with it tucked behind my ears.

    Stubble is where it's at, man.

    I'm not really a beard person. Don't like the itchiness, and more importantly my wife hates facial hair of any kind so even stubble means no lovin' for Braaains, and Braaains likes a bit of lovin'.

    As for best beards - ZZ Top.

      Braaains needs to stop letting a woman push him around...

    I have a soul patch.
    I have bald patches on my chin so i can't grow a beard. Its a disability i have to live with day by day.

    I'm at four weeks of growth at the moment. Longest hair is around 3/4mm and it's all on my neck rather than my face.

    .... It's kind of disgusting actually.

      I'm at 4 weeks of growth and well over 10mm at the longest parts..

    I had a goatie (read chin pubes) for years until before i went to the states i grew a beardy thing for my Asuma Sarutobi costume. The wife amazingly didnt mind so long as i had no upper lip hair, so i have kept that bad boy. However I will say, depending on the type of beard, it is actually a lot more upkeep than just shaving.

    This might be a good place to pimp Motaku!

    I used to let my beard grow a bit then shave it all off when it got too long but I look very baby-faced without a bit of manly ruggedness so eventually I just started trimming it when it gets long. At the moment I'm trying to do something that's like a lighter version of Marco Hietala's (Nightwish Bassist) beard.

    I go with a van dyke, mainly because I never figured out how to shave my chin without cutting myself (too many lumps and bumps), and a goatee looks too odd without the moustache (on me, at least).

    ... I wish I could grow a beard. I grew a goatee once, but for some ungodly reason the whole thing ended up being about 6 different colours.

    Since then I tend to stay clean shaven

      Is that you?! You don't look tasty AT ALL, Tofu! I am disappoint. :P

        yeah that's me and about as normal as I get. To be fair, tofu on its' own tastes pretty bad. needs to be cooked and flavoured first <_< yes, let's go with that

    I've had perma-stubble since high school more or less, but finally went the "proper" beard a couple of months ago. I've never been able to get past the itchy stage, but once you do, you're set.

    I usually run the clippers over the top at 3 once a week and shave the neck, etc

    I usually am close or clean shaven, though I ocassionally have beards. Timely, this conversation, in the lead up to Movember.

    Love beards! My wife let me grow my beard for 16 months without trimming. Had a beard in some shape or form for about 3 years now.

    This was taken about a month before cutting back to a reasonable length (the Lego box to propose with) Fair bit of ginger in there, though I'm not a ginger normally.

    This is my beard on my wedding day

    Goatee and sideburns here. Pretty much had the goatee since highschool (about 12 years) with one or two short stints of clean shaven which was pretty quickly given up on as I realised each time that my face looks stupid without a beard. Length has been everything from 1cms all the way to about 10cms.
    Sideburns are recentish and a request from my girlfriend.

    Looks pretty much like the goatee and sideburns here, but my sideburns don't go down as far and come across to nearly connect to the goatee.

      Also, not allowed to shave the beard or grow a mustache on girlfriends orders.

        Iortarg shouldn't let women push him around...

          Considering I wouldn't want to kiss someone with a mustache, and I like the beard I'm happy to follow these orders.

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