Off Topic: Surviving The Zombie Apocalypse

You may have noticed a slight 'zombiefying' of our regulars this week -- it's just a subtle change, to coincide with a number of zombie related pop culture things. Full disclosure: you've most likely noticed the massive Resident Evil 6 ad surrounding this page! I've always wondered how I would do in a post apocalyptic zombie wasteland, if the situation was to arise in real life. I'm pretty sure I would suck. How do you think you'd manage?

It's not that I'm not fit or strong or athletic, it's more the whole 'brain' thing. I'm pretty stupid when it comes to practical survival. I can't build things, I don't have any common sense, I wouldn't know where to hide!

So I'm throwing it out to you guys and girls -- how do you think you'd survive a Zombie apocalypse? What would you do?


Comments

    How is surviving the Zombie apocalypse off topic while lewd cosplay/booth babes isn't?

      ...just shut up... honestly. Also, change your name to Buzz Killington.

    I'd be eaten early.

    I'd do much better in a Nuclear apocalypse, I have plans for that.

    I'd like to think i would do well in a Zombie Apocalypse - but really the odds of surviving are slim at best.
    Add this to the fact that i don't own any tools aside from a set of screwdrivers, spanners and a hammer - nor do i have anything in the house that would actually make for practical self defense, I'm really inclined to say i'd be royally screwed.

    BUT on the plus side, while Geelong is a bigish city area, it would still be easier to escape than Melbourne and its surrounding suburbs - much less congestion and LOTS of rural area's surrounding.. so who know... lol

      Yeah. The most weapon-like thing in my house is my tennis racquet :P

        I have a plastic Cricket bat :D

          OH! And a totem tennis set!
          We all know how good that was in Sean of the dead!

      What about your record collection?

        Alas, i only have CD's - all the records are at my Parent's place. :(

      Im in Geelong aswell!! And im pretty sure everyone in Coiro would carry a weapon!

        As someone who lives in Corio see my comment below!

        Also, violence in Corio isn't that bad these days, it's all 70-something retired people that live here now.

      Growing up where i did, was always surrounded by a rather rough group of people who had at some stage in there lives had to live off the land, so i know how to shoot, Trap, fish, find water and native eddible plant's and wildlife.

      I sort of collect legal weapons, so that wont be an issue.
      Being new to the city i currently live in may prove my downfall tho, havent had time to map out a decent escape route.

      however Ultimately you cant escape a true zombie apocolypse, sure you can run and survive, but eventually you will die.

      id be fine on the weapons side of things im a licensed gun owner and own about 3 bolt action rifles and plenty of ammo

    I remember reading the Zombie Survival guide and WWZ when they came out. I was obsessed, when we where looking for our new flat I kept analysing everything to make sure it would be safe in case of zombies. When we had the earthquake in Christchurch I kept thinking of things in the book. Kept me calm and focused on the task at hand. So I figure I would be fine.

    I'd build a big treehouse. I'm sure Zombies can't climb trees! I can't understand why they don't climb more trees in The Walking Dead.

    My friend works on an offshore oil rig, I'd be headed there with lots of fishing gear (provided I can trust the other people on the rig)

    As always it depends on the type of zombies, method of infection, yadda yadda. My guess is that I would do very poorly in any situation.

    I'd do alright. Companions are expendable to me and I'm a crackshot with a pen-gun.

    Well, I would fail Rule #1 (Cardio!) straight off the bat, but I have a few McGyver-like skills so I may be able to outwit what I can't outrun. I'd head inland as the number of people and likelihood of them surviving the outback and bushland is pretty low. I'd just have to learn how to live off the land a bit better.

    Australia's probably a pretty good country to be in in case of Zombie outbreaks as we mostly live in the coastal regions so there are hugely unpopulated areas the uninfected/unturned/un-reanimated by necromantic magics/non-deadites can run to.

    Theoretically I'd be fine given the amount of thought me and my housemates put into it. I'd say we'd be fine during the initial infection but then we wouldn't really know what to do with ourselves once we'd set up a safe zone ... fun fact about the zombie apocalypse if you're safe from the infected you're probably going to have an incredibly boring time.

    Bunnings Warehouse would be my first stop, followed by somewhere with high walls and good shelter!

      Plus there would probably be a sausage sizzle. Can't think of a better way to start your life as a survivor than a good sausage sizzle.

        Oh man - i love apocalyptic sausage sizzles! :D

      Actually, I reckon the local Bunnings would be a good place to hole up. We could use the tools and supplies there to fortify the warehouse itself and maybe build a fence and/or shanty town, not to mention all the tools that would make for functional melee weapons, gas bottles for cooking and heat, generators for power, gardening supplies to improvise a farm, etc.

      As a base of operations, you can certainly do a lot worse. No steady supply of food at least at first, but that's nothing a fewexpeditions beyond the fence wouldn't sort out.

    I'd be one of the first to turn. Probably collapse on a train station & die, never to be seen again.

    I know all the dance moves to Thriller so i'd be ok. Cha'mone.

    Alot of people are convinced they'd be taken early but on the contrary when a human is put into a situation your will to survive and adrenaline magnifies your malice your capable of quite irrational behavior and incredible feats.

    Based on that I expect to be a rampaging slobbering empty shell of my former self intent on survival I will be Rambo.

    My last place of work had a Zombie Apocalypse Escape Plan next to the Fire Escape Plan.
    We never held Zombie Drills though... :(

    I'd be fairly confident in my ability to survive. I tend to be pretty resourceful and good at making things. The main thing it'd come down to would be physical abilities, and how well I'd be able to fight off or escape any zombies or whatever.

    Also there's a Bunnings about 5mins away, so hopefully I'd hear about it early enough to get there before it's completely looted :P Not that our garage doesn't half resemble a Bunnings anyway...

    I've got some sword training under my belt, have a half decent evac kit already, understand the purpose of friends, have some bushcraft skills, and live close enough to a boating district that I can accidentally escape us up north where the sun will screw everything while we hang on a tropical island. I'm also away from large population centres, so unless it starts here, I'm good.

    I would rip the palm tree in the back yard right out of the ground with my will power. The while whipping it all over the place, desimating the zombie hordes, I would make my way to Sydney harbour and aquire a boat. Then make my escape in a epic boat race against several boat zombies with fire and explosion and jumps. Then as I left the harbour I'd stop turn back say the greatest one liner in the history of man but can only be thought up in the heat of the moment (lot of heat from the fire and explosions) before heading of to New Zealand to grab my spears and bow and arrows from Papua new guinea. After liberating new Zealand from the zombies, take an afternoon. I will tie several seals together and ride them back to Australia cause my boat became a zombie and I had to kill it. Then with my weapons and PNG witch doctor black magic I totally learned in primary school I would vanquish the zombies from Australia and claim the land for myself.

    Depends on the type of zombies - if they were fast a la L4D, I'm screwed from the get go. Slow shamblers, however, wouldn't be too much of a problem in small groups - got my bokken at home should I need to use it, and I know where I can get (relatively) quick access to a sword near where I work (maybe a few guns, too, but not sure if there's ammo there too). As for long term, I doubt I'd last long on my own, especially in the middle of the city, and I've seen enough zombie media to know that we'd all be screwed anyway.

      What about slow shamblers with bursts of speed when you get within biting range?

        Then, as I said: screwed. :P

        But seriously... um, stay out of biting range? I was more referring to the fact that I'm unlikely to get far running for my life (marathons aren't my forte), so I'd stay away from them rather than wading into the middle swinging wildly - that path leads to "eaten". But if the slow zombies were capable of short bursts of high speed, I'd lament the loss of my bo... that would've had enough range to smash a few heads.

    I'd let the zombies just take me, immediately. After the last five years or so of absolute zombie overkill in pop culture, my body is ready.

    I think I'd do (relatively) fine. I have access to firearms (and have had training in their use and basic maintenance), a secure home that is out of the way with a veggie garden etc, plenty of tools, some survival and defensive training and so on.

    Also I'm a loner so I have no reason to help people :P

    Really though, we'd all die in hours.

    I'd survive for a fair while with my compound bow, my windows, and my house =)

    "how do you think you’d survive a Zombie apocalypse?"

    You can't: there's NO HOPE LEFT.

Join the discussion!