Backhanded Box Quotes: When ‘Best Call Of Duty Ever!’ Isn’t A Compliment

Backhanded Box Quotes: When ‘Best Call Of Duty Ever!’ Isn’t A Compliment

Welcome back to “Backhanded Box Quotes,” a collection of measured, thoughtful criticism from the user reviews of Metacritic.
This week we examine games from two series that frequently are accused of impersonating each other: Call of Duty: Black Ops II and Halo 4.

Call of Duty: Black Ops II

Released: November 13

Critic: MasterOfMetroid (Metacritic)
“I can’t believe I waited in line for this.”
Score: 1

Critic: ChrisTB (Metacritic)
“CoD … CoD never changes.”
Score: 0

Critic: rmartinezdl (Metacritic)
“I dont get why Activision keeps renaming their Single Player Campgain dlc ($10) and take 1 **** year to release a weapons/map patch, and why on earth is this patch $US60.”
Score: 0

Critic: Badonkadonk (Metacritic)
“The critics are raving about this, but I guess Activision has been paying this off because this game is absolute garbage.”
Score: 3

Critic: jnova80 (Metacritic)
“Bro Fest 2012! Get your TapOut shirts and dubstep ready! This one is shaping up to be the biggest gathering of pointless nonsense we have ever seen!!!”
Score: 0

Critic: nufrequency (Metacritic)
“If you or your kid have been diagnosed with ADHD … or Kalnienk vision disorder this game is designed especially for YOU!”
“This is not the Black Ops game you were hoping for… This is Super Turbo Edition !”
Score: 3

Halo 4

Released: November 6

Critic: StoneSoldier (Metacritic)
“It’s more like MW dressed up, right from the stupid climbing sequence right from the start.”
Score: 0

Critic: Franky4Fingurs (Metacritic)
“Think of Disney redoing star wars but the theme music doesn’t start while the words are scrolling…”
Score: 2

Critic: BadmanFaust (Metacritic)
“Best Call of Duty Game Ever!”
Score: 2

Backhanded Box Quotes will be an occasional feature of Kotaku’s Anger Management, unless it isn’t.


  • lol love the 2nd CoD one. Picturing Ron Perlman saying it…

    However got Halo 4 today and nothing but stunned by how good it is. Really impressed by the product 343 have put out.

  • I quite liked Black Ops II, Granted I buy all the Call of Duty(ie)’s, but this one surprised me, It seemed varied enough to keep it interesting and the Tranzit in Zombie mode has added new legs to it, But I still don’t think it’s Game of the Year quality That still should go to Borderlands 2

  • Whats with the hatred on BlackOps 2, it’s got way more content then alot of games thesedays, its multiplayer is sick and zombies is a heck of fun with mates.
    I only have a ps3 so havnt played Halo 4 yet.

    • I have to admit I’ve disliked the last few CODS but Blops2 looks like theyve made a genuine effort to pack it to the gills with content, I can appreciate this genuine effort too.

      • Are you ignoring the Xbox matchmaking system ported directly to PC?
        “Dedicated servers” my arse, this is MW3 with lean…

        • Im looking moreso at Nazi Zombies being a fully fledged game in its own right moreso, the single player campaign being more than five hours long and actually worth replaying. There’s co-op worth replaying.

          Multiplayer in CoD is a given and means SFA to me. Some people value CoD on it, but MP CoD is just an expected part now, it’s stock standard and routine.

          Take a look at the extra things they’ve put in, what they’ve actually improved and on the last 3 – 4 versions of CoD this is actually an improvement. Give credit where credit is actually due. Normally I bag the crap out of CoD but I’m willing to praise where it’s deserved. BLOPS2 deserves SOME praise.

          But MP online still sucks. 😉

  • Is Halo an Annual release yet? That’s a Backhanded Box quote. This game sucks is a pretty straight forward insult.

    Haven’t played BLOPS2, I don’t like the TV ad for it, but that says jack all about the game. I know I’m not going to get my money’s worth from Multiplayer either, but you know what I think this one does look good.

    I am enjoying Halo 4 but there are things I don’t like. But as an overall experience I’m enjoying it. Borderlands 2 is still my favorite shooter out this year. I prefer a small tight nit group of friends than an unwashed horde of people who only know curse words, Noob and words describing how great they are and how cheap you are because they where lagged when you shot them.

  • I found the campaign for Halo 4 underwhelming and multiplayer doesn’t have a local only search filter >:

    On the other hand, I went in ready to hate Black Ops 2 and I really enjoyed the campaign. The story is garbage but I had so much fun with it.

    • Yeah that is a massive omission right there no local search.

      Of all the things needed to be added to the 360 default settings is the local only search.

  • wow. people are so critical these days. remember before 2010,people just liked games because they were good, now people don’t like them because they’re not good enough. Halo 4 and Black ops 2 are probably the best shooters this year and yet people still hate them, i know there are a huge chunk of people that still likes them but i’m beginning to suspect the haters are going to grow. hope not though.

  • I realized one franchise is being criticized for being the same all the time and the other is being criticized for changing to much.

  • Halo is a lot like the matrix, should have stopped at the first and been one recognised as one of the greats and not an average series.

  • I just played (the original) Black Ops recently. From all the hate I heard over the years I was expecting dog shit. I had a lot of fun playing it. Just a fact that haters gonna hate. CoD created the whole on corridor cinematic and non-stop action experience (trademarked), they deserve all the success they get.

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