My Little Pony Progress Report: It's Been One Week

Gameloft released the My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic game last Thursday. I started playing last Wednesday. One week later I am king of the ponies. It's undisputed. Mostly undisputed. Level 40 is king, right?

I'd like to keep the comments for this post mature and civil, so let me preface this post by mentioning that posting anti-pony comments at the bottom of this article is an open admission of your secret love for all things small, colourful and equine. So there.

That having been said, I've been playing the My Little Pony game obsessively since the day before launch. Obsessively as in I wake up in the middle of the night and I've been tapping on the mini-games in my sleep obsessively.

Luckily that obsession hasn't hit my wallet too badly. Thanks to an incredibly brief and possibly accidental sale on launch day and a few moments of weakness, I have purchased $US18 worth of in-game currency. Now that I type it out it seems a bit extreme. Best not let the wife see this post.

What has my obsessive poking and payment bought me?

So far I've collected the following Equestrians:

The Mane Six:

• Twilight Sparkle: She comes with the game, so she doesn't count.

• Pinkie Pie: You'd think she'd be better at mini-games.

• Applejack: Offensive to Southerners.

• Rarity: Not all that rare, really.

Ponies of Interest

• Zecora: Not technically a pony; not sure if zebra count.

• Braeburn: I cannot for the life of me place this guy. I should probably Google him.

• Spitfire: A member of the Wonderbolts. Does not make up for my Rainbow Dash being the last of the Mane Six to acquire.

• DJ Pon-3: The sunglasses-wearing DJ looks silly in 3D, with his blue Celldweller haircut.

• Hoity Toity: Hoity Toity would not be caught dead picking apples or playing bouncy ball.

• Flim: I feel as if I am missing something every time I see him.

• Mrs. Cup Cake: Cupcakes ruined this one for me forever.

• Mr. Carrot Cake: Regularly sleeps with Mrs. Cup Cake.

• Cheerlilee: I wish my teachers were so sweet. And had four legs. And didn't exist in reality.

• Lyra Heartstrings: I have her toy hanging on my wall. Well, technically I have most of these ponies' toys hanging on my wall.

• Big Macintosh: They didn't do voice acting for Big Macintosh. Come on, people, how hard would it have been?

• Octavia: A fan-named background pony that needs a toy. I need a black-haired pony figure.

The Kids

• Bon Bon: A background character done good.

• Diamond Tiara: I hate this little jerk so much. I fail her mini-games on purpose.

• Snips: He's plucky. You gotta love pluckiness.

• Scootaloo: I would like her more if a quest didn't force me to speed her through the first three of five levels.

• Apple Bloom: You will never get your damn cutie mark if you keep sucking at mini-games.

That's what, 21? And I've got another one coming with four hours left on the waiting time. Can't remember her name. I'll call her Kevin.

I've unlocked two of the six elements of Friendship so far: Generosity and Laughter. I have Kindness uncovered, with 94 of 100 elements needed to activate it. The rest lie hidden in Nightmare Moon's shadow. I'm sure I'll get around to fixing it.

How can I fail, with the help of the 56 players that have joined me on my quest as My Little Pony friends? My Gameloft Live ranking has gone from 4 to 20 since the game launched, experience points gained from adding so many pegasisters and bronies to my list. Hey, I know! Other people playing should add me, Bunnyspatial, to their friends list. That way we can build a better Ponyville together.

I bet Gameloft would have called this My Little Pony: Ponyville if they weren't afraid Zynga would sue.

That's all for this week. Tune in next week when I beat the game and start waiting for the next one.


    Why are adult men so proud to play games and watch cartoons for little girls? I'm just as perplexed as I am horrified and disturbed.. o.0

      It's surprising that there are still people who haven't heard of the whole Brony phenomenon yet, it's been going for a while now and has saturated the net so deeply that even as a fan of the show myself, I find it a bit intoxicating.

      And for why it is an actual thing, well the fact is that the show is actually good and has an appeal beyond that of the little girl demographic. Not that I think it's anything really special like many bronies would have you believe (I myself much prefer the absurd stylings of Adventure Time and the emotional depth of Avatar - The Last Airbender) but it still is quite a solid show.

      Ostensibly the Mario series (or any other Nintendo series that isn't Metroid) is designed specifically for small children, but that has a fanbase much further reaching than that audience. Why don't you ask why that is a thing as well?

    Why not? Some goodly number of "adult men" enthuse with each other about a bunch of other 'adult men" who wear tight shorts and run about with one another kicking a ball back and forth. I don't get the attraction, but whatever.

    Still other men read comic books, and debate the characters therein at great length. I've read a few that were okay, a couple I enjoyed (Walking Dead, good fun) though most, I thought, would have been more enjoyable for me in novel form. I've never been able to comprehend the fanatical nature of some, but they're not hurting anyone.

    Others spend vast amounts of time and money playing with their cars, so that they can travel at speeds that they'll never legally do, and many will probably never do illegally either. Others go out, get drunk and stoned and, to the noxious beat of something that, several remixes and forty decibels ago, could have been called "music", writhe about in a room packed with other people, before going home to wake up to severe discomfort and head pain.

    On the other side, just today I listened to conversations between "adult women" (30-40) about what manner of pretty pictures they're going to put on their fingernails. I find the processes they describe horrifying, but if they want to jam their fingers in a pencil sharpener-like contraption while the fumes of the nail salon swirl through their lungs, then that's their call.

    I watched a few episodes of My Little Pony, to see what the fuss was about. It was... okay, I guess? I've seen much, much worse calling itself "entertainment". I've no real desire to watch any more, but... honestly, I think I find it easier to see the draw with it than I do to, say, fishing, a nightclub, or decorative nail art.

    Besides, if everyone keeps picking on the bronies, the furries are going to start feeling neglected.

    first. the minigames suck. there's only three! and you have to do them repeatedly until you get sick of them and never touch them again - and they all have a short time limit.

    seriously this game is not fun at all.

    I think they should replace Twilight Sparkle with Butt Stallion.

      How the hell can any pony game start with Rarity XD

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