Trials Evolution Gets More DLC, My Controller Begs For Mercy

Hi, Mark's controller here, I've just heard some news. Apparently RedLynx and Ubisoft have decided it was a good idea to release some new Trials DLC. I'm here to ask a simple question: won't somebody think of the controllers?

I have been punished. I have been thrown to the ground. The language hurled in my general direction has been nothing short of disgraceful. Generally I'm used to this sort of behaviour -- my owner is a cantankerous gentleman, with a decidedly Scottish temperament. When things don't go his way, he lashes out, at me, his trusted companion. A bad tradesman always blames his tools and my owner is a very, very bad tradesman.

So RedLynx, Ubisoft. Why are you doing this to me? Why would you knowingly release this content? Content that will inspire my owner to nasty, unspeakable deeds, deeds that may render my circuitry unmanageable, deeds that could very well end my life. On a day-to-day basis I usually deal with difficulties: palm sweat, dust, dorito flavouring, germs, but the physical -- nay brutal -- violence only rears its ugly head when Trials Evolution is being played.

I say no. Australia says no. I'm begging you. Stop the violence. End it. My life depends on it.


    I mysteriously have 5 Xbox 360 controllers I only just realised one was broken when I brought BLOPS 2 and realised how weak the sensitivity was (Bad spiraling).


    Playing Mortal Kombat broke off the special twisting D-Pad on the new-ish silver 360 controller I got just to play fighting games. I am much gentler with my new ones.

    Man I stopped playing Trials Evo after I got to the Marathon level or what ever it is about half way though.
    You know the one that you have to finish in under 12 minutes or something?

    I refuse to move off a level until i've golded it and I couldn't be bothered replaying a level that long until i've memorised it. One day i'll get a few hours quiet time and i'll get through it.

      Just use the scorpion as it is much more stable than the phoenix and go slowly. There are really only about 3 or 4 bots you need to really set yourself up for a good landing. The rest of the time the scorpion is stable enough to get you through it pretty quickly. :)

        Cheers Gus.

        If Dragonborn hadn't come out yesterday I would proabably do it tonight.

      I spent several days trying to platinum that level. Need to do it in 7:00. Finished once in 7:03, once in 7:01, crashed once on the final slope with time to spare.

      Did it in the end, but man - I am never playing it again.

      How many faults for Gold? I think it's like 3 or something?

      The track itself is easy but it's just long. It's way too easy to just lose your concentration and mess up so stay focused!

      Gold should be easy enough to get as they do allow room for some faults but going for a no fault, quick Platinum run? Nooooo thanks!

      Good luck though!

    Meh, I've dominated all of the tracks and skill games so far, bring it on, I'll make it rain platinumed once again.

    To be honest Trials Evolution the only reason I still have an Xbox in my living room. Stoked.

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