Hilarious Flavour Text Is One Reason To Play Final Fantasy: All The Bravest


While I’m not too keen on Final Fantasy: All the Bravest‘s copious amounts of in-app purchases and incredibly basic gameplay, a quick flip through the game’s character, enemy and weapons collection pages is good for a fair amount of giggles, possibly even a guffaw or two.

Take the basilisk, for instance. If my mother had known I was sitting in my bedroom getting stoned after school I probably wouldn’t have wound up in my current profession. I suspect drug testing is not mandatory for video game text translators.

Let’s tip-toe through the collection and see what other hilarity ensues.



The dreaded wardrobe malfunction.



Who doesn’t?



It’s only a flesh wound.



Stupid Blood Lance, draining lives.



What, that isn’t normal feline behaviour?



That or a quarter of the people at every anime convention I’ve ever attended.



Bow down!



Leaving this one alone.



You can’t cut corners with poison, people.



Likely written by a doe-eyed high-schooler.



What else are you supposed to do with it?



Just some guy, you know?



I’ve had lousy luck with the premium character store.


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