I'm Too Old For This Week In Gaming Apps S**t

You kids get off of my lawn! Damn, that really does feel good. I turned 40 on Wednesday, so excuse me if I didn't play as many gaming apps this week as you young people did. These old eyes aren't what they used to be.

OK, not an excuse. If anything I should be playing more apps, what with all the time sitting out on the back porch (we don't have a front porch), rocking back and forth in my chair and watching the weather. Or The Weather Channel app.

Hell, technically old men don't even have to go outside anymore. In a few years I'll be downloading an app that delivers the same experience as walking outside and sweeping the leaves out of the driveway every 15 minutes, without having to deal with any whippersnappers. Some would argue that app is already here several times over.

But it's none of this week's apps. These are spritely, virile games, filled with action and adventure and carefully considered strategy and wisdom — all hallmarks of a newer generation, except for the second two.

Back in my day we would have skipped the first few paragraphs and gone straight to...

What We Played This Week

Angry Birds Friends - iOS, Android - Free The weekly Facebook tournament spills over onto Android and iOS, where the Angry Birds series has been just a little bit popular. A tad.

Zoombies: Animales de la Muerte! - iOS - $2.99 Normally I take my own screens, but then normally I charge my iPad. Zoombies is another fresh game from High Voltage Software, who've been doing some great things on mobile lately. Take this, for instance — zombie animals. Why aren't there more zombie animals?

Candymeleon - iOS - Free See, he's a chameleon, but he eats candy! CANDYMELEON! He's adorable, it's mindless fun, and it's free. I like that combination.

Dark Avenger - iOS - Free The free-to-play Diablo clone with the amazingly generic name. Nice polish, good action, wildly derivative.

Eclipse: New Dawn for the Galaxy - iOS - $7.49 The incredibly complicated board game is now an incredibly complicated mobile game. An amazing digital translation, but you've got to be sharp and patient to win.

LEGO Star Wars: the Yoda Chronicles - iOS - Free Star Wars is great. LEGO is great. The mini-games here? Not so great, but LEGO. Also, Star Wars.

Rocket Patrol - iOS - Free A neat little fast-paced card game about the race across space. One of those quick-and-dirty affairs, where the players must choose to drop a travel card or drop a screw-with-your-opponent card.

App Reviews for the Week of April 29 - May 3, 2013

Killing Yourself Is Fun In They Need To Be Fed 2 Every level of They Need To Be Fed 2 ends with you hurling your big-headed black and white body into the gaping maw of a carnivorous plant. Trust me, it's for the best. Read more...

Consider This Training For One Of The Best Fantasy Board Games Ever If Talisman Prologue is any indication of how the full version of the classic fantasy board game will pan out, then fans are in for a real treat when Talisman Digital Edition launches this summer. Until then, they can re-learn the ropes in this singleplayer boot camp.Read more...

A 30-Year-Old Fighting Fantasy Comes To Life In My Hands I was a little over 13 when I read the first book in UK game designer Steve Jackson's Sorcery! series of Fighting Fantasy books. Read more...

This Is The Prettiest Game On iTunes, But Looks Aren't Everything

I stare at the glorious handcrafted world of Blitz Games' Paper Titans for hours, lazily rotating each colourfully cobbled-together stage. I would gladly take a large stack of proto-form Titans, popping them out of their paper prisons and folding them to life with a flick of my finger. Read more...

Star Command Is A Great Game, But Also A Kickstarter Warning

For the last few days, I've been playing Star Command, a mobile game that's had people excited for a very long time now. Beginning life as a Kickstarter project, it's gone through several major delays, and arrives this week on the App Store an example not just of excellent portable strategy, but of the realities of... Read more...


    Hah. Got you beat. 40? Chicken feed. In my mid 60s, Gaming since 1978 (Atari 2600). Almost every console, PC and now on ios since. Yes FPSs are hard (don't have the same reflexes) but games like Anomaly Warzone, Hunters 1 and 2, Tinman Gamebooks, Sorcery, Talisman Prologue HD and so on. There's plenty to love out there for the older ones. Space Hulk, Warhammer Quest and others still to come. Now if they would only bring the old Amiga Carrier Command to IOS I would be a very happy chappy.

    Last edited 07/05/13 1:45 pm

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