"I am awake. I'm getting up! Just give me five more minutes."
Man, this feels like getting up for school when I was a surly teenager. Setting an alarm for 2.30am. That's just wrong. But this is the Xbox Reveal! Are you with me! ARE YOU WITH ME!
Let's get ready yall. I promised I wouldn't type these words, but it's 2.45 am...
2.51: I found a can of V in my fridge. YES. YES. YES. This day is already going so well. Also chocolate. YEAH DEAD CALORIES.
2.53: So CLOSE.
2.55: Hey new commenters — trying to blast through your comment approvals so you can POST AT WILL MY NEW FRIENDS!
2.57: True story, my brother in law is sleeping on my couch. I'm typing in the darkness. He is snoring three feet away from me. Games journalism.
2.59: START. I can't take this funky upbeat acid jazz any longer. START.
3.00: Here we go!
3.01: Geoff, you're such a nice man. You can marry my daughter when I have one. Just treat her right.
3.02: Yes Don. Slide. Electric slide onto the stage. I just saw Senor Spielbergo!
3.02: Also — a lot of mentions of the word entertainment. Get un-hype!
3.05: Maybe you can also marry my daughter Don. My other daughter. When I have one.
3.06: Oh man, the Xbox is going to do everything. It will make my porridge. He's building to something here!
3.08: XBOX ONE! It looks like a really nice set top box. LOL. JKS. It looks nice. I like the design. I like the look of the controller. Looks like it has a share button?
3.09: Shirt. No tie. Professional. Ready to party.
3.10: "We wanna take your passion for gaming, and drag it kicking and screaming to TV SHIT YEAH!"
3.11: This is not really great to be honest. I really dislike the new Xbox 360 homepage. Also — are these things even going to be available here? Very US specific.
3.12: LOL Internet Explorer
3.14: SKYPE YOU GUYS! GET HYPE. (Urgh)
3.15: IMAGINE MY NAME IS CHAD CHADSON, US BRO WATCHING MY NBA ON MY US ONLY CHANNEL EATING MY CHIPDIP. Urgh, come on man.
3.18: I just don't see myself using any of this stuff ever.
3.20: Okay now the games... I hope.
3.21: Oh, it has blu-ray. I guess that was to be expected.
3.24: Ticks of 'Cinematic'. BINGO!
3.24: We are almost half an hour into this conference and we haven't seen a game. Think about that. We're still hearing about numbers that really mean nothing at all. And TV shit that will be dramatically different in our country. This is terrifyingly TV and US centric.
3.25: My bad. Three seconds of Forza.
3.27: I never thought I'd say this. YES EA IS HERE! And it's that Aussie guy!
3.30: UFC! YEAH! (Just me?)
3.32: Haha! Jon Jones and Anthony Pettis! Showtime Kick Don Mattrick Pettis! DO IT!
3.35: Let's look at what cut-scenes will look like on Xbox One! YEAH! Right guys? At least they showed the Showtime kick. IN CG.
3.38: At least we're getting games now. I'll stop whinging! Forza looks good. Unexpected. Same same. But good.
What does that mean?
3.42: Eight new franchises. That's pretty cool. Where are they? We saw one of them. I understand the need to hold things up your sleeve until E3, but jeez...
3.44: RUEN: this is the greatest Set Top Box reveal ever guys -__-
Yep, couldn't agree more Ruen.
3.46: Senor Spielbergo! He plays pong!
3.47: This is like an E3 conference by The Onion. Is this real life? I honestly can't believe how US centric this GLOBAL ANNOUNCEMENT is. It's actually a little bit insulting. Half of these things are either not relevant to us, or won't be available in Australia.
3.51: Don Mattrick: "I'm please to announce that we'll release this thing somewhere. At some point. At a certain price."
4.00: Well that's Call of Duty: Dogs. Look, I don't hate Call of Duty, but I dunno. It's a pretty weak game to leave us on. Still this character model looks pretty good.
NEXT GEN DOGS LOOK COOL THOUGH!
This looks good. A comparison is a good idea. It's hard to put this in perspective when we're so used to bullshots.
4.03: It's easy to be cynical about Call of Duty, but I think that was a good trailer. And I think that was easily the highlight of the conference. That probably says more about the conference than anything, but yeah. I guess I'm just trying to be positive here.
Okay dokey. Thanks for tuning in with me, appreciate the company! I'm going to head into the office now. We're speaking to local Microsoft reps today so hopefully we'll have some more local information on the Xbox One.
Catch you guys and girls later!