Look, I am really sorry you are heading into the worst weekend of your life. I'd try to warn you, tell you what sorts of people, places and things to avoid, but fate doesn't work that way.
You'll either ignore me completely, thinking I'm some sort of psycho, or you'll adjust your plans and fate will adjust right back. It's inevitable. Might-as-well have some games along for the ride. Do they make fireproof phone cases? Oh, no reason.
If you had to choose between fireproof and waterproof, really it's a toss up at this point. Either way you go, you'll still only be conscious long enough to play two or three of this week's selection of mobile gaming goodness.
Let's see. Impossible Road? Might be a little too poignant, all things considered. By the time Monday rolls around, Running with Friends will carry a certain bitter irony, but it'll be fun in the meantime. Blaster X is pretty safe, unless... no, nevermind.
Bellyfish is actually perfect. You should play that. Pay extra attention to the air bubble collecting bits. Try not to panic. Fear is the mind-killer after all.
I am sure everything will be fine. You should just forget I said anything. Maybe focus on...
What We Played This Week
Impossible Road - iOS - $1.99 An incredibly striking, deceptively simple game about getting a white ball to follow a blue road. Nearly lives up to its name.
Blaster X HD - iPad - $.99 400 levels of gorgeous action puzzles. It's a skill-based gameabout flinging a ball to collect energy modules, which takes a great deal more skill than one would imagine. It's challenge week!
Mosaique - Android, iOS - $.99 Developer Winning Blimb calls Mosaique the favourite pastime of another world, and it very well could be. It's a colour matching game with a pleasing palette and endless variety. Soothing and relaxing. Perfect for the bath.
Running with Friends - iOS - Free From Zynga, in collaboration with David Jaffe's Eat Sleep Play, comes an endless running of the bulls against friends. It's a nicely-polish endless-runner that doesn't stray far from the regular formula. The twist is, you are playing back and forth against your friends, instead of playing for yourself, you selfish bastard.
Bellyfish - iOS - $.99 A harmless little endless-riser, in Bellyfish the goal is to reach the surface of a never-ending sea. If you think about it, that's the stuff of nightmares, so don't think about it.
App Reviews for the Week of May 6 - 10, 2013
Do not ask why Little Mexico has a zoo containing hundreds of elephants. Do not ask why the only people fighting the animal victims of a zombie plague are a pair of small Mexican children. Do not ask how a Roman candle can take down a full-grown pachyderm brought back from the dead via evil forces. Read more...
I do not understand why I am playing this, so here's a kitten with a steamed bun on its head. Read more...