A Million More Reasons Why Blanka Sucks

A Million More Reasons Why Blanka Sucks

I’m sure it’s a familiar story. You or your friend gets a Super Nintendo with Street Fighter II. A horde of friends bumrush your house to play. One little bastard figures out Blanka’s electricity move. Then proceeds to dominate everyone before you figure out the Hadouken. Screw that kid. Ever since that day I’ve had a serious problem with Blanka, and this video just helps reinforce everything that is wrong him.

In short, Blanka is a troll. He is also a tool for the trolling of others. He is a monstrous representation of the degradation of humanity. Blanka is the internet. He is you at your worst, he is me. Blanka is the troll in all of us.

Today, we are all Blanka.

Thanks Alan for sending this in!


    • Me too 😀 It was even more fun when we acted out the moves in real life. I just got tackled a lot hahaha.

      • Acting out moves in real life as a kid was the best. Playing Ninja Turtles or Ghost Busters? Classic.

        Of course, we also grew up with a lot of construction around, so there was much riding of bikes over makeshift ramps, digging forts into clay mounds, and using lengths of rebar as ninja turtle weapons.

        I can only imagine the scandal and outrage if kids were caught playing outdoors unsupervised today, let alone with construction site cast-offs.

  • I hate the way his charge moves make whoever is using them just turtle constantly. They just hold back (or back/down) and block while charging up a move, then when you strike (because they are just sitting there doing nothing) they hit you with a sommersault mov. They just turtle until you get frustrated and do something then pounce on you. Fuck Blanka.

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